The Czech Republic is not Europe. Ilya Varlamov: You can’t live like that: Kiev baroque Varlamov livejournal com You can’t live like that

Ladies and Gentlemen! Today I have prepared a truly exquisite torture for your eyes. And I warn you again: it’s better to turn the page, because if you open this door, there will be no turning back! I'll be honest with you. Today you will find yourself in a real orgy of architectural styles and engineering solutions! From today, your ideas about interior design will completely change. I will push your boundaries of what is permitted. And you have no idea how far we will go! What seemed unthinkable to you just yesterday will take on real features today...

Be careful, I warned you! Think about whether you should open this door 🚪... After all, there will be no turning back.

So why? Why did you come here? Your eyes... My eyes... We are starting a tour of another house! More precisely, not just a house, but a five-level cottage, as the owners call it.

Externally, an elite cottage - and I think the reader will allow me to play by the rules of the owners and call this barn an “elite cottage” -

Externally, the cottage resembles a castle... Elements of fortress walls mixed with a roadside cafe for truckers.

Have you watched the series "Dexter"? There the guy had a split personality. On the one hand, he was a maniac, and on the other, a police officer. Two personalities coexisted quite organically in him...

I have to tell you the story of Billy Milligan! Suddenly you don't know him. In the American Billy Milligan there lived not two, but 24 personalities. In one body coexisted Billy himself, a British aristocrat, a Yugoslav communist, a Brooklyn gangster, a lesbian, several teenagers with musical talents, a religious Jew, and so on.

When Milligan committed several robberies and rapes in the late 1970s, his lawyers were able to prove that his "main character" was unaware of the crimes. Billy avoided prison, but was sent for compulsory treatment to a psychiatric hospital, where he spent more than 10 years.

As Billy himself told the doctors, the “switching” of personalities occurred as follows: they all seemed to be in a dark room, in the middle of which there was a circle of light. Anyone who stood in this circle took over Billy’s body and consciousness, and his “main” personality seemed to fall asleep.

After the Milligan case, medicine began to study dissociative identity disorder (or multiple personality disorder) even more closely.

And if we have now looked at the example of a criminal who did not know what he was doing, then let’s move on. After all, different personalities can also live within a designer!

And so the different personalities inhabiting the designer dig into the interior and try to tear it apart! Here you will find a Chinese chandelier and dozens of different wallpapers of all kinds!

The staircase from the entrance of a vomited five-story building, photo wallpaper from the hallway of a high school with views of paradise islands and wallpaper from a luxurious bedroom of the 80s...

Floors change, styles and decor change... There are gypsy pillows on the Greek floor.

Each piece of the interior was created by a new personality of the designer. She went out into the circle of light and chose new wallpaper! Madness? No...

OK! Let's raise the stakes!

Living room... Greece, Ancient Rome, India, England, winter garden of the House of Pioneers of the Northern Tushino region! I promised you a crazy orgy of architectural styles?

But don’t rush to stop, every turn of the camera reveals to us new authors of this crazy experiment! And now there are African motifs...

Madness... Genuine madness!

This could be a textbook of bad architecture, but this is an elite cottage for 40 million rubles!

Let's raise the stakes! Yes! Let's not stop! Every room is an explosion of madness!

Gym!

More and more new worlds are opening up to the viewer.

It is clear that one of the designer's personalities loves screens. They replace cabinet doors and shelves.

Hunting room

Like the rest of the house, it contains all sorts of styles.

Throne for the owner!

Bamboo, palm trees and brick

The cuisine is very interesting.

Everything is great here! And the cheapest furniture that I usually saw in African slums, and some crazy arrangement of wires and sockets.

I don’t want to offend the owner, but the kitchen, apparently, was made from what the neighbors threw in the trash. The teapot shelf is a masterpiece.

Apparently, our castle has several kitchens. Looking at this photo, any electrician should shed a tear of emotion!

What's a castle without a heavenly pool?!

Everything is in place here, even a stuffed owl!

Luxurious black shower in which Russian birch trees, tigers, baroque frame, bamboo ceiling and underwater world are mixed!

But the beautiful bathroom is already in the Egyptian style. Notice how cleverly the owners installed the radiator! Well, the person who can explain the principle of installing sockets should be awarded the Nobel Prize in Logic.

But then another person bursts into the circle of light and chooses such a mirror! Don't forget, we have an advanced case.

Oh yes, the most important thing!

Another bathroom. The plumber is already crying here. Okay, I'm ready to believe that the author of this masterpiece is not crazy if you explain to me why he hung towel hooks in the place where the shower mount should be.

That’s all for today... And I warned you that you shouldn’t have entered this post!

You can’t live like this: the apartment of your nightmares

Dog kennel disguised as an apartment in Crimea

You can’t live like that: 8 sq. meters

If you are tired of your unpretentious interior. If you are not happy with furniture from Ikea. If the thought has ever occurred to you that it would be nice to have a bed twice as wide as the one you have. If the white ceiling and wallpaper on the walls make you sad. If....

In short, if you live normally in your apartment or in a private house, and you miss the overview of unnatural beauty as much as I do, “You can’t live like that” again, and we’re going to the Vorobyovy Gory residential complex! But don’t forget your ceremonial uniforms - our hospitable host, it seems, is King Louis XIV himself!

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A terrible age has come, fellow Parisians. Our country is about to fall to the barbarians. I see you are not shocked by this. After all, our sovereign has already become one of them... The gold, purple and outlandish paintings have overshadowed his clear head. The hand of lack of culture has already been raised over our capital... Forgive us, Lord! For we do not know what we are doing!

Photo: New Kaliningrad

A week ago I showed you how in the city of Sovetsk officials led by the governor of the Kaliningrad region were surrounded by dirt and slums. It is surprising that more than 70 years after the war, such everyday processes as connecting a small region to the gas network are perceived as an incredible breakthrough that requires the attention of the head of the region.

Here you can remember that for the last 8 years the Soviet has been led (albeit in different positions) by a very interesting character - Nikolai Nikolaevich Voishchev.

Last summer, a criminal case was opened against him for abuse of official powers (Article 285 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation). Voishchev is suspected of having sold a plot of land worth 6 million rubles to himself in 2015 for 63.6 thousand rubles.

At the same time, the local publication Kaliningrad24 published photographs from the mayor’s mansion, which was officially registered to his ex-wife.

Let's see what the residence of a person who hosts such holidays looks like from the inside:

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Recently, in the Novosibirsk region, special services detained an ordinary official, the director of the Economic Management institution. So what's wrong with that? They are fighting corruption in the region or dividing up money and places to earn money – it’s a big deal! Novosibirsk region! Not even the Moscow region!

But it turned out that a modest civil servant lives in anything but modest housing. According to investigators, for 6 years at the head of a fleet serving the regional government, she “saved” at least five million rubles for four accomplices in the crime. And so Natalya Malinovskaya “earned” her “beauty”, which we will consider today in our non-permanent column “You can’t live like that!”

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Dear ladies, gentlemen and their children! Your favorite section “You can’t live like this” is on air again! I know you missed me. Your eyes have healed and begun to see again. Your thoughts calmed down, you stopped waking up from nightmares. But today I have to break the idyll. Again there is blood from the eyes, again nightmares... Therefore, it is better not to go under the cut, because there will be no turning back.

Today we will go to Stary Oskol... It was there that a branch of hell opened...

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Photo: Century 21 / CIAN

Khabarovsk is now actively discussing the sale of an apartment, which rumor attributes to the ex-governor of the Khabarovsk Territory Vyacheslav Shport. The apartment is located in the city center (Volochaevskaya St., 168), a 5-minute walk from Lenin Square, where the regional government building is located. 4-room apartment with an area of ​​116 sq. meters is sold for 27 million rubles.

A representative of a real estate agency told a DVhab.ru journalist that the apartment in this ad does not belong to Shport, but I would not rush to conclusions. I think we will find out the answer when it becomes clear whether Shport will leave Khabarovsk after losing the elections or not.
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Regular readers of my blog know that I am quite normal about man's exploitation of nature. In my world there is nothing wrong with steak or eating live oysters. Theoretically, I’m even ready to understand when Yakuts wear fur coats (although I myself don’t wear fur coats). But what I saw shocked even me.

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I first saw photographs of this luxurious house three months ago. They were on my desk, but I couldn’t start fasting. It is impossible to describe these interiors in Moscow: there are not enough colors. I needed to be in Amsterdam. And now I’m standing right in the center of Amsterdam! I have a laptop in my hands, I am writing this post for you! In the rain... Although no, I’m standing with a laptop, what kind of rain? So, enough foreplay. Now I will pull the cord and the clapper mechanism will work! I promise to fill your imagination with confetti of impressions. And now I ask you: pick up a hairdryer, turn it on and point it at your face. Close your eyes... can you hear the music? We are with you in India! You are walking along sunlit... ()

I first saw photographs of this luxurious house three months ago. They were on my desk, but I couldn’t start fasting. It is impossible to describe these interiors in Moscow: there are not enough colors. I needed to be in Amsterdam.

And now I’m standing right in the center of Amsterdam! I have a laptop in my hands, I am writing this post for you! In the rain... Although no, I’m standing with a laptop, what kind of rain?

So, enough foreplay. Now I will pull the cord and the clapper mechanism will work! I promise to fill your imagination with confetti of impressions.

And now I ask you: pick up a hairdryer, turn it on and point it at your face. Close your eyes... can you hear the music? We are with you in India! You walk along the sun-drenched streets, and the scorching wind blows on your face.

The luxurious cottage HOUSE OF THE MAHARAJAH looks like a fairy-tale palace of a padishah. Indian patterns, bright colors, sculpting and wall paintings create a feeling of eternal celebration in the house. Immerse yourself in the colors of Bollywood and celebrate a luxurious wedding with oriental pomp. The spacious eastern living room with an aquarium and chess, a banquet hall for 100 guests, a billiard room, 5 bedrooms, a spacious malachite bathroom, a spacious kitchen, a Russian bath, TV, karaoke, rooms, board games, a barbecue area, guarded parking . The cottage is ideal for themed corporate events, conferences, yoga seminars, photo shoots and other outdoor events. Pets can be brought in upon agreement with the owner.

Carved white marble, exquisite carpets, zitas and gitas dancing in huge halls... The ceilings are painted with scenes from the life of Hindu gods, the smell of cinnamon and patchouli, and tame monkeys run after guests and offer to take laddus from a tin box; Pages with fans of peacock feathers are lined up along the walls, and wonderful music is heard over all this: “Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy Aaja” and Ravi Shankar.

Okay, I won't torture you anymore. Turn off the hairdryer, let's quickly go to the MAHARAJA'S HOUSE!

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I know you live with pain in your soul, one day you were choosing a chair for work, and then ran out of the store in tears - there was only shit in the window.

Didn’t God create the human body beautiful in his own likeness, and shouldn’t chairs be a reverse reflection, a cast of this divine form and beauty?

Designers, designers, and designers compete to come up with chairs, considering this their calling card, and the world of office chairs has been abandoned by the design gods.

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Hello, my little lovers of good taste and luxurious life. I know your eyes are yearning for luxurious interiors. But here I am! I'm here again, wearing a leopard print robe and white crocodile pointy shoes, and I'll give you a tour of the palace!

When the Bolsheviks captured and plundered Zimny ​​in 1917, the tradition of luxurious living for Russian rulers was interrupted. Soon, members of the imperial family were killed, and only a few emigrants remembered the brilliant decoration of the royal residences. It would seem that the era is gone forever. The gold of the Russian crown has tarnished and no longer clouds the eyes and mind...

But who knew that exactly 100 years later there would be a person in Russia who could reverently and lovingly recreate palace interiors?! That this standard of impeccable taste will place in the spacious halls amazing chairs worthy of the august buttocks. That he would build the fireplace from malachite, and decorate the palace park with beautiful sculptures of ancient heroes.

Today I want to introduce you to the brightest example of the “Rublev Baroque” style. I speak from the heart: I have never seen anything like this before.

This is not just a house. It is a "palace for receptions, residence, embassy, ​​headquarters, office, study or residence." For a magnificent palazzo of 2500 sq. meters they are asking for only 20 million euros, now it is 1.35 billion rubles.

Here is the gate of the residence.

Let's take you on an exciting journey through this treasure trove of style!

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Thank you for your attention, gentlemen and ladies! Maintain revolutionary consciousness and don’t rock the boat for ten minutes. Now it will hurt.

I’ve been thinking for a long time about what masterpiece of Russian design I should show you this time. You've been waiting for a new series for a long time. Today your desires will finally connect with my capabilities. And, as usual, I will ask those who care about the purity of their taste to leave this post, close the page, turn off the computer. After all, after 10 minutes, when you scroll to the end of the article, you will become a different person.

Below the cut is a choice fucker, I’m warning you...

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Put on your leopard diving suits, we're going down to the very bottom of design, where the rays of reason don't penetrate - self-leveling 3D floors.

Only those who are pure in heart and sexy in body can enter this post.

So, stretch your eyes, get up and do some light exercise before scrolling further. We have never dived so deep before.

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Unfortunately, I again have to hide the title picture from you and also warn you. This post will break your eyes! You will be in a lot of pain. Think about it, do you need it? Maybe it's better to close it?

As you know, the term “European-quality renovation” has nothing to do with Europe. In Europe, no one has ever heard of European-quality renovation, so this word is exclusively for internal consumption. The term arose in the dashing 90s, when Soviet people had a need to start a new beautiful life, but the opportunities were poor. Therefore, cheap finishing materials flooded into the market: eurolining, euroboards, eurotiles, foam stucco, etc. Today, European-quality renovation is a state of mind of a barbarian. This is the desire to cross out history, throw out everything old and replace it with a new, shiny, disposable one. on a national scale, this means the demolition of historical buildings and construction in its place. European-quality renovation in a single apartment is bad taste, mediocrity, kitsch, ridiculous proportions, a mess of various elements. If you see the word “European-quality renovation” somewhere today, run away!

In the closed protected area of ​​the Nautilus complex there are two six-story buildings and 300 linear meters of its own equipped beach. “Nautilus” offers apartments for rent with an area of ​​80 and 90 square meters with all amenities. Exclusive design and layout of Nautilus apartments (boathouses) and European-quality renovation. The complex has a mini-market, cafe, sauna, swimming pool, massage room, billiards, children's room, parking and much more.

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I’m writing this post, and my hands are shaking... My fingers don’t hit the buttons, so you’ll forgive me... If you suddenly dare to look under the cut, you’ll understand me! I've seen a lot in my life. Was, was... I was even in Stavropol, where. But now I understand that I haven’t seen life! That I didn’t smell gunpowder, that by a happy accident I bypassed real hell... And he was nearby, close at hand, in the historical center of Moscow!

Please feel sorry for yourself and close this post!

I warned you...

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In the era of perverted fantasies of Zaha Hadid, Frank Gehry and Santiago Calatrava, in the difficult times of the dominance of the “Scandinavian style” in the interior, the soul rejoices when there is a person who is able to combine the graceful forms of a real noble nest with the native colors of the ancient Russian craft - Gzhel.

This house in Mytishchi is on sale for only 300 million rubles. I hope there will be a worthy buyer for it who will pay tribute to the architect and designer and will not change anything.

Although, when I walked through the interiors of this palace of style, I couldn’t help but feel that it was not designed for drab life, but for something more intimate...

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Fate is unfair to some of us. Agree, every person should have his own place and time in this world! It happens that a person is born in the wrong place and at the wrong time, and then suffers all his life. Someone goes into art, trying to somehow be transported to a comfortable environment for themselves, someone ends up in a madhouse in the form of Napoleon. I always hear these stories with sadness...

Recently I came across another cry for help! It was posted on one of the real estate sites:

“Apartment with designer renovation, made in Baroque style, in the very center of Ryazan.

For lovers of royal scope, chic and outright wealth, allowing you to feel like royalty.

Oil painting, high-quality plaster stucco molding, exclusive furniture, a bathtub with hydro-aero massage with a TV and telephone, two home theaters, individual heating (climate control), two air conditioners, a five-meter wardrobe with mirrored facades.

That very moment when you were supposed to be born in France during the Late Renaissance, but were born in Ryazan in our days. And you live not in a palace, but in an ordinary panel... Fate, what are you doing to us? For what? Why are you torturing a person?

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Ladies and Gentlemen! Today I have prepared a truly exquisite torture for your eyes. And I warn you again: it’s better to turn the page, because if you open this door, there will be no turning back! I'll be honest with you. Today you will find yourself in a real orgy of architectural styles and engineering solutions! From today, your ideas about interior design will completely change. I will push your boundaries of what is permitted. And you have no idea how far we will go! What seemed unthinkable to you just yesterday will take on real features today...

Be careful, I warned you! Think about whether you should open this door 🚪... After all, there will be no turning back.

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Gentlemen... Today I ask you to be extremely attentive and careful. Before you go into the cut, think carefully, because once you let the genie out of the bottle, you won’t put it back in.

Today in your favorite section we present “luxury villa”. Please note right away that it was not I who called her that, but the owner! The renovation, by the way, is also elite!

Here is a description of this miracle:

The philosophy of the villa is the harmony of natural beauty and functionality of a modern home. The facility combines architectural tradition with the quality and technical achievements of modern architecture. The property is located in the most prestigious area of ​​Sochi, just 150 meters from the sea and the Arboretum park. On the landscaped territory of the complex there is a swimming pool, a bar, small architectural forms, flower beds, special lighting systems, cozy and quiet places to relax. The entrance lobby and hall, elevator and floor areas are decorated with marble, metal, glass and mosaic. All these finishing elements create a feeling of special comfort and sophisticated style.

Repair: Elite renovation

Your villa is the future in the new millennium!

You know, I rarely swear on the blog. But this is kind of fucked up! I don’t know what the author smoked, but it turned out to be spicy!

I warned you! If you go under the cut, your life will change forever!

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Ladies and Gentlemen! We continue the tour of our Ukrainian brothers in the section And today I need to tell you about a terrible disease... In the early 2000s, it struck the villages and hamlets of our vast homeland. Khutora, by the way, was hit harder, but that’s a different story. The disease has been known for a long time; Mayakovsky wrote: “In every fashion, it’s supposed to be that you can’t go without a button, but you can go without a head.” But until recently, paramedics had not observed any serious epidemics in our area. There were some isolated cases like Ellochka the cannibal from “12 Chairs,” but the disease did not wipe out people en masse. And so we lived until the 2000s: money poured into the country - and it began!

The disease is insidious! It usually affects the brain of lower forms of anthropoids: rural habalok and gopniks in a glamorized shell. It is susceptible to complex and vain individuals who are worried about their fame in a certain “society”. At the initial stage, society is limited to regular visits to a rural club, but then the patient buys a ticket to the city and is blown away!

As you understand, this disease is called VIP, or VIP in English (this abbreviation has already lost its original meaning in our country). The main symptom of the disease is an inflated sense of self-importance combined with conspicuous consumption and a primitive value system. It all starts with the usual desire to stand out somehow, which is quite natural for a person. But since it is impossible to stand out either with intelligence or with any achievements, the patient begins to brighten himself and the world around him. Further, in Drozdov’s voice: females usually have swollen lips, whiter hair, and one arm becomes longer than the other due to constant selfie-taking. The males develop a funny gait, and they devote all their energy to tuning their personal car, even if it is a Moskvich left by their grandfather.

By the way, don't laugh. This disease has made a huge contribution to modern culture! All these glamorous pussies with pumped lips, Caucasian car tuning and ridiculous fashion, which we can talk about endlessly. The world wouldn't be as bright if it weren't for the epidemic of VIPs and glamour.

Unfortunately, the disease is considered practically incurable.

Okay, stop beating around the bush! Let's look at the habitat of one terminally ill representative of the Kyiv elite. Carefully! Everything inside will be very VIP and glamorous.

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Your favorite section is “You can’t live like this”! Here we look at what can happen when a person has no taste but has extra money. Usually I look at the apartments of my compatriots, but today we are on tour with a Ukrainian designer. Enjoy!

I remember one of my friends moved from the southern region to Moscow. He had no money at all, but he had a desire to quickly secure a place for himself on the glamorous Olympus of the capital. First of all, he took a piece of paper and drew the Versace logo on it, made himself a cup stand from this piece of paper and proudly placed it in the most visible place on his desktop. Then he had the idea to write “RICH” in white paint on a regular black hat. These hats were in fashion then, but something stopped him. Maybe he didn’t find the paint, or maybe he realized the stupidity of his idea.

When I saw this beautiful apartment in the very center of Kyiv, the first thing I thought was that my old friend had gotten up and moved to Ukraine... But no... So, meet: the apartment of a glamorous Ukrainian! What happens when you sell your last cow and move to the capital with a bag of money! Pure luxury with a rustic flavor!

The first thing that surprised me was the microwave in the living room... No, I understand everything, you need to heat up the sausages and pies bought from the metro somewhere, but why do it in the living room?!

Okay, let's give the owner the floor!

"Exclusive apartment in the "Roman" style, extraordinary unique design, modern high-quality furniture, high double bed, dressing room - 8 sq.m., living room-studio, built-in kitchen, Modern household appliances from leading manufacturers Gorenje and Zanussi - grill, plasma, steambox , refrigerator. The house is in the courtyard, has its own parking space."

Well, I wrote it as I knew it! But now we know what the Roman style is...

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I ask for a moment of your attention! Today I again proudly present to you your favorite section - “You can’t live like that”! I’ll say right away that you shouldn’t take the title too seriously. You can live any way you want. I'm not going to teach anyone how to live, but I couldn't do it THAT way! And you?

Today the apartment is very difficult... I ask you (in Zadornov’s voice) not to laugh or mock the owners. It's possible they were in trouble. Maybe they need help, and it's not just the interior, but an encrypted SOS signal.

Remember how stereograms were popular in the 90s? When an abstract pattern was printed, and if you focused your vision correctly, you could see a three-dimensional image? I was at school then, and I remember there were “Hummingbird” notebooks, each with a stereogram on the cover! I loved looking at them.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who loved this thing... I grew up and forgot about stereograms, and someone covered their entire interior with them!!! What happened in this man's head? What's wrong with him now? Will we have time to help him?

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An ordinary Novosibirsk new building from a real estate website. Yes, they built it, as always, on the outskirts. Yes, no infrastructure. Yes, the future of the ghetto. But nothing foretells the horror that awaits us inside...

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Photo: Native Kiev Club / Facebook

All week they sent me links with photographs of one Kyiv entrance. You've probably already seen this masterpiece of modern design. But if you haven't seen it, watch it. You can't pass by this. A good example of the fact that it is better to do nothing than to do it “beautifully” without education, taste and sense of proportion. The same thing is happening to many of our cities as happened to this unfortunate entrance. Poorly educated people come to power who consider it possible to get involved in design and architecture. Sadly. Of course, what happened in Kyiv is a crime. I don’t understand why some people are touched by this horror.

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There are many inexplicable things in the world... For example, I cannot understand how people in their right mind vote for Korotchenko. I understand for United Russia, I understand for the Communist Party of the Russian Federation, but I can’t understand for Korotchenko. I’ve always wondered what it’s like to see in the dark or have 360-degree vision, like some insects or birds. I just can't wrap my head around it. There are many things in the world that are completely incomprehensible to me...

When I first saw photographs of this apartment, at first I didn’t believe that this was possible! What could be going on in the minds of people who do this at home? No, it's not "beautiful" or "ugly". This is generally beyond good and evil. In my world there are no ratings for such interiors. It's as if a man who had never seen snow was brought to Antarctica to live with penguins. And now I feel like a Papuan who is standing on an ice floe in confusion... Paradise apartment! Let's go have a look!

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The other day, crime boss (aka thief in law) Zakhary Kalashov, better known as Shakro Molodoy, was detained in his home. In fact, he is no longer quite young (63 years old). Moreover, he is considered one of the leaders of the Russian underworld. Shakro Molodoy is a native of Tbilisi, a Yezidi Kurd, and his activities are allegedly connected with Caucasian organized crime groups. There is a version that he may be indirectly involved in the murder of Ded Khasan (Aslan Usoyan), because after the arrest of Kalashov by the Spanish authorities in 2006, a war began between the clans of Usoyan and Tariel Oniani (Taro) for the management of his business.

If you think that you have seen everything, then you are mistaken! You didn't see anything! If you think you know where the bottom is, then you will soon realize that it was not the bottom, but the lid of hell. Your ideas about what you can do in your apartment will now change greatly.

Ladies and Gentlemen! Meet your favorite section

Let's move to sunny Kyiv!

An advertisement recently appeared on a Ukrainian website about the sale of a legendary apartment on Radunskaya Street in Kyiv. It is legendary for its interior, designed by artist Tatyana Pika. Tatyana, by the way, is not only an artist, but also a folk healer! In Kyiv, house number 26 on Radunskaya Street is famous throughout the city. The magic of decorating an apartment is available not only to its residents, but also to its neighbors. The unknown world will swallow you up as soon as the elevator opens on the 13th floor. In general, see for yourself.

As you probably already know, billionaire Donald Trump recently announced his intention to run for president of the United States. He is a very peculiar politician, often making provocative and stupid statements. With some stretch, Trump can be compared to our Zhirinovsky. But voters like him, and if a few months ago no one took him seriously, now America is thinking with horror: what if Trump wins?

And we also love Trump very much. What causes such love? Some want to see him as the new American president to see how he will ruin America. Others are impressed by Trump with his attitude towards Russia and his desire to establish a dialogue with Moscow. But most people, it seems to me, like Trump’s wild taste! Yes, Donald Trump has a broad Russian soul. He's like a caricatured New Russian from jokes. Trump likes everything to be expensive and rich.

In the title photo of the post he is with his family in a relaxed atmosphere. It turned out that this was not a palace or a museum, but the apartment of a distinguished American businessman. Let's take a look inside...

We continue to study how people live... Let me remind you that some time ago I started looking for a new apartment and came across amazing offers on the real estate market. Today I’ll tell you about another masterpiece.

Fate is not always fair to people. Someone is born in the wrong place, someone in the wrong body, and someone in the wrong era. Once in our world, these people suffer all their lives and try to correct the mistakes of fate. They perform gender reassignment operations, change their environment and social circle. Some people still cannot come to terms with injustice and withdraw into themselves and go crazy. Our hero today was clearly born in the wrong era. He was supposed to live in a palace, walk through the gardens of Versailles, go to receptions and balls, challenge offenders to a duel, and fate threw him into a small town in the Moscow region, in a ghetto with five-story buildings, an industrial zone and eternal Russian shit under his feet. Tell me, is this fair? Fortunately, our hero did not give up, did not give up and created a real palace in his apartment! Let's see what happened.
Emperors of Pshonka, if they are not stopped in time!

Inspired by the apartments I saw, I decided to show you some interiors. Perhaps this will even result in a special section “You can’t live like this.”

I warn you that there are very scary pictures under the cut. They can cause you mental trauma. Take care of your eyes!

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We continue to study how people live... Let me remind you that some time ago I started looking for a new apartment and came across amazing offers on the real estate market. Today I’ll tell you about another masterpiece.

Fate is not always fair to people. Someone is born in the wrong place, someone in the wrong body, and someone in the wrong era. Once in our world, these people suffer all their lives and try to correct the mistakes of fate. They perform gender reassignment operations, change their environment and social circle. Some people still cannot come to terms with injustice and withdraw into themselves and go crazy. Our hero today was clearly born in the wrong era. He was supposed to live in a palace, walk through the gardens of Versailles, go to receptions and balls, challenge offenders to a duel, and fate threw him into a small town in the Moscow region, in a ghetto with five-story buildings, an industrial zone and eternal Russian shit under his feet. Tell me, is this fair? Fortunately, our hero did not give up, did not give up and created a real palace in his apartment! Let's see what happened.



01. Entrance to the apartment! The level is immediately visible.


02. The walls of the apartment are decorated with skillful frescoes...


03. The plots include balls, hunting, high society receptions.


04. Let me remind you, friends, that we are in an ordinary apartment in an ordinary monolithic brick house. But will this stop the prince? Furniture from the last lines of the price list of a furniture salon.


05. Luxurious kitchen!


06. One problem - Russian architects are building concrete bags that are too small for our fellow citizens! The prince's imagination cannot run wild here. Why are the ceilings so low? Why are the rooms so small? CLOSELY! But never mind, the painting on the walls takes us to Italy...


07. The apartment is multi-level, this is what the stairs look like.


08. Sometimes you can forget that you are in a God-forsaken town far beyond the Moscow Ring Road.


09. There is a palace in every room! Beautiful green color, my entrance was painted with this paint;)


10. Gym on the balcony.


11. Frescoes again, this time we are in Ancient Greece!


12. Imperial dressing room


13. Library


14. Fireplace room


15. Door to the cellar


16. Balconies also did not go unnoticed by the designers. Flowers bloom on the ceilings, wonderful landscapes on the walls.


17. How lovely


18. Yes, the balconies are small, but it doesn’t matter! Design knows no boundaries!


19. Ass... The view from the window is like the chiming of the clock in Cinderella. The carriage immediately turns into a pumpkin, and the fairy-tale castle into an apartment on the outskirts of a town near Moscow... If I were our hero, I would hang up a plasma so that outside the window they would show the beautiful gardens of Versailles, and not Russian reality.


20. Bathroom


21. There are many of them and they are all different. Unfortunately, they don’t make luxury baths for small bathrooms. But it’s okay, you can cut a niche in the wall if the bathhouse doesn’t fit. Once again - there are no boundaries for design!


22.


23. Another bathroom


24. And this is a bathroom, apparently, for the servants! Somehow very modest.


25. Guest bathroom.


26. There is a bathhouse in the apartment in the palace!


27. Font


28. A piece of the Mediterranean Sea


30. Let's go out to the roof...


31. Everything is gorgeous here too.


32. Beauty


33. Rich!


34. upstairs we have an open kitchen


35.


36. What a miracle!


37. There is another fireplace and a table covered with crocodile skin!


38.


39. Don't forget, we are still in a regular apartment


40. Another kitchen


41. Old Russian melancholy


42. Swimming pool on the roof!


This is how people live. An apartment of 550 square meters is sold for 66 million rubles and you can become a prince of the Moscow region.

Once upon a time I saw a photo of this carriage on the Internet. I thought for a long time who could have mutilated the car like this... But now I am beginning to suspect that it is the carriage of the owner of this apartment...


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In past issues:

I’m writing this post, and my hands are shaking... My fingers don’t hit the buttons, so you’ll forgive me... If you suddenly dare to look under the cut, you’ll understand me! I've seen a lot in my life. Was, was... I was even in Stavropol, where. But now I understand that I haven’t seen life! That I didn’t smell gunpowder, that by a happy accident I bypassed real hell... And he was nearby, close at hand, in the historical center of Moscow!

Please feel sorry for yourself and close this post!

I warned you...

Maybe we should not?

Are you sure you want to see this apartment?

There's still time to stop!

I warned you!

Description from the owner:

Luxurious apartment in the historical center of Moscow, Exclusive architectural project with an unusual design solution, built-in kitchen and designer furniture from leading world brands, windows overlooking a quiet, cozy green courtyard, direct sale, more than 3 years in the property, legalized redevelopment.

Let's start with the bathroom... An ordinary market classic from the 90s, only the golden shower hints that the owner is not as simple as he seems!

Hm...

Let's go to the bedroom. She may seem too bold! The walls are covered with plush leopards, the bedspread is the same... The bright canary walls add to the madness. But this picture will not surprise the sophisticated reader. Haven't we seen this?

Okay, dear reader. This was the preparation... Now we will go to the altar of this temple of crazy design!

But first, I want you to calm your eyesight a little.

Relax and remember that it's not too late to close the blog...

WELCOME!

Isn't this wonderful? In such a kitchen you want to run around like a fly caught in a jar and bang your head against the walls! This kitchen makes you want to go crazy! This is a real holiday!

Pay attention to the bed behind the curtain! I would like to remind you that this is “an exclusive architectural project with an unusual design solution!” I want the designer of this interior to give lectures to people at election rallies.

Now you have seen everything, my dears... Your life will never be the same!

And today I need to tell you about a terrible disease... In the early 2000s, it struck the villages and hamlets of our vast homeland. Khutora, by the way, was hit harder, but that’s a different story. The disease has been known for a long time; Mayakovsky wrote: “In every fashion, it’s supposed to be that you can’t go without a button, but you can go without a head.” But until recently, paramedics had not observed any serious epidemics in our area. There were some isolated cases like Ellochka the cannibal from “12 Chairs,” but the disease did not wipe out people en masse. And so we lived until the 2000s: money poured into the country - and it began!

The disease is insidious! It usually affects the brain of lower forms of anthropoids: rural habalok and gopniks in a glamorized shell. It is susceptible to complex and vain individuals who are worried about their fame in a certain “society”. At the initial stage, society is limited to regular visits to a rural club, but then the patient buys a ticket to the city and is blown away!

As you understand, this disease is called VIP, or VIP in English (this abbreviation has already lost its original meaning in our country). The main symptom of the disease is an inflated sense of self-importance combined with conspicuous consumption and a primitive value system. It all starts with the usual desire to stand out somehow, which is quite natural for a person. But since it is impossible to stand out either with intelligence or with any achievements, the patient begins to brighten himself and the world around him. Further, in Drozdov’s voice: females usually have swollen lips, whiter hair, and one arm becomes longer than the other due to constant selfie-taking. The males develop a funny gait, and they devote all their energy to tuning their personal car, even if it is a Moskvich left by their grandfather.

By the way, don't laugh. This disease has made a huge contribution to modern culture! All these glamorous pussies with pumped lips, Caucasian car tuning and ridiculous fashion, which we can talk about endlessly. The world wouldn't be as bright if it weren't for the epidemic of VIPs and glamour.

Unfortunately, the disease is considered practically incurable.

Okay, stop beating around the bush! Let's look at the habitat of one terminally ill representative of the Kyiv elite. Carefully! Everything inside will be very VIP and glamorous.

So let's start with the living room! She greets you with a riot of colors! Check out these clear chairs and the picture in the chic leopard print frame. And the butterfly on the “dance floor”? And the chandelier in the shape of a corkscrew?! They would look appropriate in a Moscow nightclub in the mid-2000s, when it was still fashionable to listen to r"n"b and study at MGIMO. Unfortunately, the owner of the apartment clearly chose the color scheme himself.

By the way, this is not just a living room, but a Chanel living room. The giant logos on the sofa cushions and especially on the carpet will not let a random guest forget this for a minute... By the way, old lady Coco was a master at siphoning money out of sick cattle, which her descendants still use! So that no one suddenly thinks that this is the apartment of some rural woman who moved to Kyiv 3 years ago and used a new iPhone, the logos of fashion brands are combined with crowns lined with rhinestones. "I'm not a milkmaid, I'm a queen!"

The backs of the chairs are also decorated with Chanel logos, just in case. Pay attention to the leopard print chair in the niche... I wouldn't be surprised if it's for a cat.

The shelving in the form of an antique portico made of shitty bright plastic is touching. Please note that the sofa is made of crocodile leather (not real)!

Crown on the floor! An attentive viewer will also notice that the furniture is finished in crocodile leather. In general, as you understand, when it is not possible to tune the gray matter in the head, a person begins to tune his wrapper.

From the Chanel living room we find ourselves in the Gucci gold bedroom. Look at the handles of cabinets and bedside tables! And if this is not enough, then pay attention to the curtains. The whole thing is crowned by a solid portrait of a leopard. The highest level of glamor! Please note that the wallpaper is leopard print and the pillows have a crocodile texture! The collective farm origin of the owner is very clear.

Kitchen! Scientists have something to pay attention to.

It’s good that a designer has such a tool as color at his disposal, right?

He won't let his eyes get bored. As you know, guests of the Emerald City had to wear green glasses. Guests of this kitchen should be offered pink ones at the entrance.

This is an office. Or a children's room, whichever you prefer. Although I would call it a chill-out zone.

As you may have guessed from the logos on the pillows and carpet, this is not just a nursery, but a children's Fendi. Don't forget: everything should be at the highest level of glamor!

This is a twin room. Fendi dominates here too.

After this, the bathroom seems very modest and nondescript. It's good that there are these beautiful flamingos, otherwise I would have decided that the designer had cheated!

Well, and a playful ladder, of course.

The bathroom is also duplicated just in case.

I'm not sure, but it seems like a different designer worked here. If the first one clearly loves ecstasy more, the second one loves LSD.

At a certain moment, the waves on the walls of the corridor begin to overwhelm you.

Be careful when walking past this house!

It seems to me that everything is obvious here. The apartment leaves almost no secrets or mysteries. Except for one thing: does her owner use self-tanning?