How to get out of stagnation in life. A common but implicit cause of “stagnation” in life
Everyone experiences this feeling from time to time. And some stay in it all the time. This is an unpleasant feeling of powerlessness, doom, fatigue that occurs every time you want to change something in your life, but circumstances prevent this. You hit your forehead against the wall, but you can't move an inch. You rake out of the swamp, and it sucks you back with gusto. You are stuck...
At such moments, you really want to give up, reconcile and pretend that everything is going as it should. Do not give up. There are effective ways to regain control over the situation and get the ball rolling.
1. Decide on the area
First of all, determine the point where you are and where you want to go. Feeling stagnant and lacking perspective in your work? Do you have problems in social life or in relationships with colleagues? Maybe your family relationships have exhausted themselves and require renewal? Decide what problem makes you feel negative and think about how you can solve it. Do not grab changes in all areas at once, focus on the main thing. This will help bring much more clarity to the situation.
Find a tug
Sometimes one gets the feeling that it is simply impossible to get out of life's impasse on one's own. Experienced motorists know that if you are really seriously stuck, then you need to stop stepping on the gas (only dig deeper) and follow the tugboat. In our situation, such a tug can be a best friend, family, teacher, therapist, or even a professional coach. Put aside excessive pride and do not hesitate to ask for help. You have to move forward, don't you?
3. Diary
Try keeping a journal in which you record the details of your life journey. Write down why you feel stagnant in life, what opportunities are available for you to move forward, what you have tried and what results you got, new ideas you can try, and so on. Ask yourself tough questions that no one else would dare, and answer them honestly. You may be surprised how much this can help you.
4. Meditation
Practice at least 10 minutes of meditation a day. Very often, this is a good way to find a way out of a seemingly hopeless situation, when all attempts have been tried, and the brain is driven in circles, sorting out deliberately failed options. In the process of meditation, our consciousness relaxes, but the brain continues to work on the problem sitting in the subcortex, so as a result, you can get a sudden insight into the issue that is tormenting you.
Google is available to everyone and completely free. Almost certainly one of the billions of people on earth has already been in your situation, solved it and shared their experience on the network. Of course, there may not be 100% identical cases, but you will surely find some similar situations. Perhaps this is what will give you new ideas and strategies for overcoming the crisis.
6. Brainstorm
Brainstorming is a great way to get on the right track. Just take a piece of paper and write down all the ideas that come to your mind to solve your problem. No thinking, evaluation or discussion - a maximum of ideas, even the most crazy ones, in a unit of time. Then you can calmly weigh all the pros and cons and in a pile of frank slag you will find that diamond that you missed so much.
7. Change your environment
If you want to start running, but your friends pull you for beer every night, then you will have to overcome not only the feeling of your inner resistance, but also theirs. If you want to devote your life to music, then surrounded by musicians it will be much easier to do. Try to surround yourself with people who, if they don't help you, at least won't hinder you.
8. Try something new
Albert Einstein said that "madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." So why don't you, if you want to break out of the quagmire of life's stagnation, try to do something new? New recipes, music, routes, hobbies, goals. This is the only way to break out of the vicious circle of routine, when it seems that everything has already been tested, passed, felt and nothing will happen in life.
May 19, 2017
Posted in Uncategorized
How to promote yourself and become a sought-after specialist?
It's good to be a top specialist known in the professional environment. But what if your profile on freelance exchanges is displayed far beyond the 10th page? There is only one way out - to be resourceful and look for alternative options for offering your services! We have selected for you several options on how to promote yourself and how to become a well-known specialist without using stock exchanges.
1. Communication in professional communities and forums
These forums are read not only by specialists, but also by potential customers who want to understand some issue. If it is you who helps them and prompts the answer to the question, it is possible that they will entrust you with the solution of other problems.
Here you can also establish relationships with colleagues who may later invite you to the project as an assistant. Examples of a professional community are Professionali.ru or the Freelancers Club, where almost 5,000 members from various IT fields are already registered. There are also thematic communities for representatives of various professions. You will find them in the catalog of professions, in the section corresponding to your activity.
If there are popular information sites in your specialty, write interesting articles for them and invite the editors to publish them. It does not matter that the publication will be free of charge - your fee will be the attention of readers, among whom, of course, there are potential customers. Publications on popular sites will raise your authority and allow you to become a well-known specialist over time.
2. Blog
Many freelancers use a blog as one of their main channels for attracting clients. The blog can be in LiveJournal, another blogging service, or be standalone (standalone) - the latter option is preferable, because. blogs on your own domains legally belong to you, and secondly, they are easier to promote in search engines and attract visitors from Yandex and Google.
How to promote yourself with a blog? You write and publish articles on your blog about your work.
Potential customers find them, read them, and some of them decide to order services from you.
Thematic articles should be diluted with notes about your hobbies, trips, observations. This will allow customers to get to know you as a person. People are more willing to turn to those specialists whom they know personally. Give them the opportunity to get to know yourself, show what a diversified, intelligent and interesting person you are - this will help you become a sought-after specialist.
How to attract readers to your blog? Publish announcements of the most interesting articles with a link to the blog on your social network page, share them with your friends. Attach social plugins to your blog that will allow readers to save their favorite materials on their pages on social networks. Enable RSS Subscription: Although this feed is not as popular as it used to be, it still works. You can also promote yourself and your blog with the help of other bloggers by inviting them to exchange banners and interesting posts. Make an interesting newsletter on Subscribe.ru or Smartresponder.ru on the topic of your activity and announce the most interesting materials from your blog in it. Add a link to your blog to your profile on the forums where you actively communicate - if the interlocutor is interested in your person, he will definitely look at your blog and, perhaps, become a regular reader.
If you are familiar with SEO optimization, optimize blog articles for low-competitive queries. Promoting a new blog for the query "copywriting" will probably be difficult, but for the queries "how to write an ad" or "how to write text for the site" it is quite possible. By the way, you can also earn small, but easy money on a blog by selling links.
3. Contextual advertising
Contextual advertising is the ability to show advertising of your services only to those who are really interested in them. You have probably seen ads that are displayed in Yandex, Google and on various sites when you are looking for something or searched through the Internet. For example, if you search for an online shoe store, you are shown advertisements for online shoe department stores.
You can also advertise your services. For example, if you are engaged in copywriting, you can set up ads advertising your services to users who searched through Yandex or Google for “text for a poster”, “text for a booklet”, etc.
Users clicking on the ad will be redirected to your website, blog or profile. You will pay for advertising only if the user has moved to your site. If there was no transfer, the money is not written off. The cost of one transition depends on various parameters. One of the key parameters is the competition for showing ads for the selected word. If you try, you can find words for which no one is advertising, and get a transition at the lowest price. Contextual advertising is the least time-consuming way to promote yourself, however, in some cases, one of the most expensive.
4. Word of mouth
When people need to find a specialist, they first of all look among acquaintances. So calmer and safer. And this should be used. Let all friends and acquaintances know what you do and be sure that you are a master and a true fan of your business. Then on occasion they will recommend you to clients. In addition, if you have many acquaintances, a variety of opportunities may open up. You may be asked to comment or take an interview for a print publication or website, invite you to TV and radio. And then you can already give recommendations on how to become a sought-after specialist. In a word, you can find clients almost everywhere, use every chance!
5. Seminars, professional conferences
If you have already gained experience in your field and now you are interested in how to become a well-known specialist, you can prove yourself at conferences, seminars, webinars. Today, there are many both paid and free events, including those held via the Internet. As a rule, they are visited not only by specialists, but also by potential customers. You can get acquainted with them and take projects in the future. Also communicate more with experienced colleagues, since you can become a sought-after specialist only by constantly raising your level.
The main thing - do not forget to take the time to establish channels to attract new customers. This is a key element of the stability of your business, and therefore income.
Fast career: how to speed up freelancing?
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Psychology29-07-2014, 21:41 sergey k7 124
How to get out of stagnation: if you don’t want to do anything?
Probably, many faced such a period in their lives when they completely don't want to do anything. All-consuming laziness comes from somewhere above, and only one desire remains: to cover yourself with a blanket and not even move.
This is stagnation, loss of strength, the first calls of depression. And they must be fought. Otherwise, the mental state may worsen so much that later it will be possible to cope only with the help of a specialist.
In order to overcome stagnation, a person must perform a few simple but indispensable actions. First you need to understand that life is not always bright and full of different emotions. Sometimes you need periods of respite, rest, calm. They must be taken for granted without losing the joy of life. But if this does not work out, then you will have to act more radically.
All people expect changes from life, but if you just sit and do nothing, then you won’t wait for anything. It needs to be clearly understood. That usually there is silence before the storm, and most likely, a whole whirlwind of new impressions and sensations will replace the gray everyday life. And their arrival can be much closer.
It seems that everything is fine with you: the work is normal, there are some relationships, but for some reason, melancholy covers. Nothing happens, every day is like groundhog day. Why is this happening and what to do? The expert speaks.
Vita Kholmogorova
psychologist, candidate of psychological sciences
Stagnation is always a lack of movement, stagnation, loss of vitality, incentives and guidelines. There can be many reasons for stagnation. Here are just a few of them.
On this topic
For many years, starting from school and parental requirements, your life has been subject to the “I need” category, and not the “I want” category. How often do we see families where parents send their children to circles, choose friends, impose a profession based on their own ideas about what is suitable, and not on the true desires of the child. "No matter how you feel, we know what's best for you." This is done under the banner "We want the best for you." A person turns into a mechanism, moving further and further away from his true feelings and needs.
Another reason why you may not be guided by your own feelings and, as a result, feel stagnant is the shift in attention to external values imposed by society or advertising. Often, successful and successful people come to psychologists with a complaint: “I have achieved everything, but nothing makes me happy and I don’t want anything.” When a person initially faces false goals that correspond to imposed standards, but are not consonant with his true feelings and psychological needs, every step that brings him closer to them moves him away from peace and joy.
It also happens that anxious parents broadcast their own fears to their children. “You can’t be very happy, then trouble can come, a lot of joy - a lot of tears.” Thus, from childhood, the child is laid the installation of a ban on joy. The feelings of a child, and then an adult, are characterized by a decrease in amplitude, life becomes colorless and functional.
However, the experience of stagnation and longing provokes other fears. Fear of failure makes you live half-heartedly. Fear of the future provokes constant negative forecasts, a person lives in a utopian world, trying to avoid change. Fear of failure prevents you from taking responsibility for your own life. He goes with the flow, watching others move forward at the same time, often feeling envious or regretting missed opportunities. Sometimes the cause of stagnation and longing is the phenomenon of postponed life, when a person associates the beginning of a “real”, filled life with some circumstances. In reality, when these events occur, a person postpones this period even further. Such a life in the subjunctive mood is devoid of colors and vivid emotions.
Often true perfectionists experience a feeling of longing. The flip side of endless high expectations from yourself and life is a feeling of frustration, dissatisfaction and endless claims to yourself. Of course, in such a situation it is difficult to experience joy. And finally, a common cause of melancholy and fading is banal fatigue. When internal resources are depleted, the body enters an energy-saving mode, and the first thing it starts to save on is emotions and feelings. A person goes to work, meets friends, goes in for sports, but the taste of life, desires, motivation, energy and strength are gone.
No matter how different the reasons for feeling stagnant and longing, it is always about losing contact with your feelings, your true needs and values. In a state of apathy and stagnation, a person tends to be in constant expectation that it will soon pass, you just have to wait. But, unfortunately, this is an illusion. Life is motion. And you need to start it exactly at the moment when a person admits to himself that his life is dull, monotonous and does not bring positive feelings.
On this topic
First of all, it is important to answer the question for yourself: what will make me happy, or at least slightly enliven my life and feelings? Learn to listen to yourself and your desires. Start the day with the question: what can I do for myself today that could give me pleasure and joy? At the end of the day, summarize: what was good today? Return to positive feelings as often as possible throughout the day. In the East they say: "What you pay attention to is amplified." If your Groundhog Day was preceded by a period of tension and stress, allow yourself to rest. Even if you can’t go on vacation, add to your life everything that helps restore resources. Vitamins, healthy eating, massage, walks, a psychologist, floating, yoga - the main thing is that it should be pleasant.
It is equally important to reconsider the goals and identify near and far ones. Without a clear goal, there is no progress. Our goals depend on our values. Therefore, think about what is valuable and significant for you, understand what goals would bring you a sense of self-realization, joy and fill every day with a sense of meaning.
Clear your life of aggravating factors. Toxic relationships, lingering habits, pointless social media hours... Try something new. Sign up for interesting lectures, go to speech technique courses, learn to dance, go to gastronomic master classes, go to some country museum for the weekend, go on an excursion. The more impressions and communication with new people, the faster the feeling of "Groundhog Day" and stagnation will pass.
The main thing is to remember that every minute we are faced with a choice, we are free in it, it depends only on us. And the choice is life, joy and movement forward.
To begin with, I am very tired of myself, of my constant thoughts. I am almost 20 years old, I study at the institute on a budget, I live in a student hostel. I myself am from another city, large and regional. But I have a lot of desires and ambitions. So I went to St. Petersburg. But now my expectations are not justified at all, it seems to me that I am only wasting time here, that here I am degrading. When I first arrived, I was determined: I went to French courses, at the same time I graduated from college in another city, I studied well here, went to theaters, museums, talked a lot. But now 1.5 years have passed and I don’t want anything at all. In the city, in my opinion, I didn’t find any opportunities for myself. I don’t have a loved one, I don’t really have friends (because I’m surrounded by people who don’t want anything in this life .. eat, drink, pass a session, and go with the flow), I wanted to do scientific work, they sent me to put it mildly (although I have a secondary specialized education in this area), I don’t see a future in this city .. yes, and nowhere I don’t see it .. no apartment, no car, no beloved .. I don’t tolerate monotonous work, but my specialty is different overwhelms her. I can’t go back home, it will mean my loss, that I gave up in pursuit of a dream .. which is already possible and not. I torment myself with these thoughts all the time! My mood has been zero for 3 months now, I don’t want to study, I don’t want to communicate with anyone, I would just lie and roar like a stupid fool. But I wasn't like that! Yes, I always had problems with my mood, but here ... Around me, someone is getting married, someone is changing jobs, someone is going abroad, and my life is just stagnant ... not even a small gap ... I just don’t know what to do.
Hello Ekaterina! It seems that the problem is not only that you do not see goals and prospects in this "city of opportunities", but also in your tendency to depression. In addition, sometimes it is difficult at the age of 19 to be in another city without relatives, without support. It is not by chance that you write about the absence of friends and a loved one. I think they are still missing from the fact that for 3 months you have been in a bad mood and constant self-criticism, you must admit, a state that is not very conducive to communication! In my opinion, it is worth contacting a specialist and sorting out your problems together. There is a free center at the psychological faculty of the university, the specialists are quite competent. Good luck! Sincerely. Julia Good answer 6 bad answer 0
I do not tolerate monotonous work, and my specialty makes it work
Why did you choose this specialty? Change your specialty, try to do what you really like. And already one point in your degradation will cease to be a problem. Difficult? Yes. And who said that we have to live our whole life like a ruler? Once to choose a specialty and for life? Who even said it was good?
Friends - here it is also enough to understand what you want, what are your own interests, your own choice in order to look for and find similar people.
Opportunities - they are everywhere, only one thing is important: that you understand what you really want. If you really wanted to study at this institute and learn French, you would enjoy all this.
Every day we live events, as a rule, without thinking about it, our actions often remain unaware of us. Up to the point that we cannot say whether this or that moment in life suits us or not. We swallow it like a pill, bitter or not, and move on. This state is called the comfort zone or "stagnation". What is it? This is how we live, what we are used to and what we often do not notice. In another way, such a state can also be figuratively called a swamp. Because sitting in a comfort zone a person does not develop, but gets stuck in it more and more.
What to do in this case? Learn to detect in time whether you are in stagnation by resorting to the practice of daily awareness, as well as be able to get out of this state in time.
To begin with, I suggest that you sit down in a calm atmosphere and think - how did your day go, what good things happened during the day? Thank yourself for what you have accomplished. Then think about what didn’t work out for you and what would you like to do on this particular day?
The fact that you didn’t succeed or you didn’t do something - forgive yourself and let go of this day.
Think about what you would like to do the next day, even make a list and try to stick to it. I assure you that when you go through this list and check off the things you have done, you will feel satisfied. The state of conscious self-satisfaction is a very important state! And the more often it happens to you, especially if it really happens on business, the better. There is a wonderful expression of Richard Bach: "To have what you did not have before, you need to do what you have never done." Start small - with simple actions and watch the changes take place, mark them for yourself so that it becomes your habit. Any habit comes in 21 days!
The hardest thing is to take the first step. This is where the power of intention can help - you make a firm decision "I will move forward for the sake of my development." And it is important to understand here that the actions that you take after, for a start, should be aimed at your benefit, and only then can you indicate what you want to achieve or improve in your life.
For example: I want to develop by changing my character traits, learn to do something for my benefit, and this will allow me then: to grow as a Personality, move up the career ladder, improve relationships with a partner or children…. (required to enter).
It will be a big mistake for you if you choose the wrong support in your development, wanting, for example, to start developing for the sake of another person. And he may not need it, after all, he can always leave you. Or, start developing in yourself that quality of character that would help in obtaining the desired position. And this position may well be given to someone else, or you yourself may be disappointed in it ... There can be many examples, but the important thing here is that in any of them, a person relies on the outside, on something that he cannot always control, and having lost such false support, emptiness, resentment, misunderstanding always remains in the soul.
Therefore, if you decide to work on yourself, first of all answer yourself the question: What will I get by developing this quality in myself? What can I achieve? How will this help me in life? Be healthy selfish. This is very good. As the Bible says, "save yourself and many around you will be saved."
Often a person gets into a state of stagnation according to the following scheme: he gets what he wants and then he is very happy about it. For example, you got a pay raise, a position, or you got married or got married or something else - something that you really, really wanted. For some time you are in a state of high spirits, joy, but then, naturally, in everyday life and chores, the acuity of sensation decreases, addiction occurs, and this is where all development processes stop. If you forgot about awareness, then again it is worth remembering for it. Sit down and think calmly: what is happening in general, what is wrong, why did this stop making me happy, what is the reason? And what can I do to re-experience the drive of life? Naturally, you can become aware of this, and start moving in the right direction, which you will certainly notice. Do you doubt? But in vain!
The fact is that when we enter a stagnant period, even without realizing it, the Universe begins to send us signs, if we do not respond to them, then we begin to receive kicks. For our own good, she tries to take us out of the zone of comfortable or even uncomfortable stagnation so that we continue our development and improve as a Personality.
In any case, you were born into this life in order to fulfill your destiny! Just as this world lives and develops, changing every minute, so you, as part of this world, are called to move forward, to keep pace with the times. And it’s up to you to decide whether the Universe will have to pull you out of your comfort zone every time, alas, with not very pleasant methods, or you will do it yourself on time and voluntarily, thanks to awareness and wisdom.
Good day everyone. Help urgently needed. Because I can't do it anymore.
I am 30 years old, married 12, have a child of 3 years. Let's start with the fact that I have always been cheerful, sociable, easy to get along with people. I had many interests, generally had a fun life. It was in student days. Then I met my future wife and almost immediately began to live together. We did not have a period of courtship and dates. We immediately started to live as a family. While living naturally got used to each other. There were clarifications of relations, who is dearer to whom, and so on. All reproaches were directed at me. I always reconciled and apologized, too. An example of a reproach (you do everything for your family), although they lived in another city and I could not do anything. In yoga, I practically stopped communicating with my family. Anyway. Further more. Then, during the period of falling in love, the wife introduced the concept by which we live for each other. Okay, that suits me so I love you. All friends, hobbies, interests were abandoned. It's good that there are common friends and interests. Then work, buying real estate, cars, planning a child. All this time, my wife and I lived for each other. Always home after work, there together, walking together. Everything suited everyone. But with such a course of affairs, she and I potrelyali their personal interests and aspirations. Get bogged down in one position, without career and professional growth. And then about a miracle, she is pregnant and goes on maternity leave. Finally a wanted child. For two years, the wife devoted herself entirely to the child. I also did everything to the maximum for the family. Helped with cooking, cleaning, everything in short. Everyone is happy.
But then I catch a wedge, apparently from the fact that I'm tired of everything, and I start to break down on my wife over trifles. In the spirit of why the house is a mess. (as I later realized, I ended up breaking down on myself because I was not happy with myself. I told my wife about this, but she didn’t care anymore). She is naturally offended and we periodically (once a month) for a long time express to each other who thinks what about whom. Then she found a person who understands her (I don’t know what to call her, let her be a friend) and as if they replaced her. I am on maternity leave, I want to go for a walk, I need to draw energy somewhere. Okay, go ahead. There was only time to play at night. Therefore, once, twice a week, the wife came home at 2 o'clock in the morning. Out of habit, this strained me and I asked if she could come early, so at first I was just worried. They said that there is no other time and everything suits her, and if you don’t like something, it’s your problems. They swore again ... Understanding was never found. Then she finds a friend with whom oddities begin. She began to act like a teenager in love. I was worried and asked if everything was ok. They said don't worry, everything's fine, you figured it all out for yourself. Then it turned out that my missus and that girlfriend BI. Correspondence with flirting was opened. He asked me not to do it again, because it hurts me. And why didn't you tell me anything at the beginning of our relationship about your orientation?
To which she replied that this was only her problem and you should not have known anything. He said that he would not communicate with me on this topic. Because I don't understand it. I really do not understand, although I do not mind such a turn, while maintaining fidelity. And the hidden correspondence and meetings continued. After all the swearing, sex rolled to naught. At the same time, she writes to her that she wants sex, but she doesn’t tell me anything about it.
I've become who knows who.
1) My wife does not trust me, it turns out she has kept secrets from me all her life. And she doesn't want to open up to me. Accordingly, I do not have confidence in her, since she continues to lie to me even in small things. He offered to go to a psychologist together, read how to restore relationships - there is only one answer: I don’t want to. I'm happy with everything, I'm not doing anything wrong.
2) We also have practically no sex. Regarding this, she told me that in general it seemed to her that I had “raped” her all this time (12 years), without explaining the reasons for what it was. To which I said why the hell were you silent if you didn’t like something. No answer. And in general it turns out she never liked men. oops)
3) He asked me to stop talking to my girlfriend. Told figs to you, I need it. If you don't like something, that's your problem. Where were you before, why didn't I know this?
4) Regarding bisexuality, if they say it does not suit me, look for another. Leave, no one is holding.
How does not hold, and the child? I am a good father, the child is crazy about me, just like I am from him. I will never give up!
Why didn’t anyone tell me at the beginning of the relationship about their orientation? Especially since I don't understand it.
5) And it turns out that all the time that I gave the family is no longer needed by anyone. Now I need to earn more. Because you need a better car, better clothes, and imports at sea 2 times a year. And I have lost all my potential. Links are lost. There are no qualifications.
6) I am silent about all sorts of hobbies. Everything is forgotten and you don't even want anything. I became sad, sullen, irritable. In short, I hate myself.
And every day I ask myself the question: What should I do now? I don't even know where to start.
I don’t want to go home, what awaits me there? Misunderstanding and distrust, and at best a light chatter that someone had and then sleep against different walls.
I'm fed up with the job, but there's nowhere to go because nobody needs a "nice guy" who doesn't know anything.
Complete deadlock. The only thing that makes me happy is the child. There my brain is completely disabled, I am cheerful and contented. But this is not the way out.
