Who can sell humorous monologues. How to write custom jokes and sell them on TV

Mikulex Added: 03/06/2012 18:11 [+0 ]

Purely for formality, I’ll clarify, is profanity welcome, possible or unacceptable?

qwerty Added: 03/06/2012 20:18 [+0 ]

sapsun Added: 03/07/2012 00:22 [+0 ]

Odessit Added: 03/07/2012 01:13 [+1 ]

Authorship is a derivative of the word author, nothing more. In the jurisdiction, the author is not the one who created, but the one who has evidence that it was he who created, and not the upstairs neighbor. I agree about copyright. The director and the film studio are not an example. In this case, the director has no rights (only if he himself is not the owner of the film studio that acquired the rights from the author of the work or script).

korkodil Added: 03/08/2012 10:25 [+0 ]

Good question, I'm buying the rights to the joke! Those. authorship is not indicated! I understand it's a shame when your work is used, but... so far so.

qwerty Added: 03/08/2012 17:30 [+1 ]

Selling and selling different things. Therefore, everything that you offer is called literary Afro-Americanism or even more intelligibly literary prostitution, and in its cheapest interpretation. It does not paint both the buyer and the seller. Therefore, my opinion (I do not dissuade anyone), but I want to warn you. IN THIS WAY, YOU WILL NOT ONLY EARN MONEY, BUT YOU WILL LOSE YOUR INDIVIDUALITY. Good luck to everyone and stay yourself in this changing world.

DEN1 Added: 03/06/2012 21:15 [+2]

korkodil Added: 03/08/2012 10:26 [+0 ]

yes indeed, I check for uniqueness! The network and publications should not be!

vester Added: 03/07/2012 00:21 [+0 ]

I have a joke that is not highlighted anywhere. But it costs 2 rubles.

qwerty Added: 03/07/2012 01:41 [+0 ]

It turns out that for 10,000 rubles they want to buy 100 original jokes to make a performance out of them, and if you make the price of a ticket to a concert 500 rubles, then they will be repaid for 20 visitors, and then you are the king, everything is yours and you are the funniest. With such cunning ... ny Makar, you can give ten concerts a year. But isn't it too fat for one person? And in general, I do not welcome the work of literary blacks. It is better to write one of your own than a dozen to someone incomprehensible. Then after all your children will not understand you.

Odessit Added: 03/07/2012 02:14 [+4]

if you know how else you can make money on humor, I'm listening to you. those who know how to come up with jokes for authorship do not fight, they still punish

qwerty Added: 03/08/2012 17:39 [+0 ]

Zhvanetsky, Arkanov, Trushkin, Koklyushkin and an infinite number of others. Ask them how to make money. You can go to auditions in KAmedi - battle and other programs. What is difficult? And what did you want?

filinn Added: 10/11/2012 21:40 [+0 ]

My opinion: before you go on TV, you need to have accumulated experience and understanding behind your back that not only your mother laughs at your jokes, but also magazine editors, at least. You have to start small.

Mikulex Added: 03/07/2012 09:48 [+1 ]

So they wrote to you, from 100 rubles. Maybe there will be more.
Look at the guys in KVN, the authors write for free, and only Maslyakov earns on this. Either jokes are bought, and then the team tours the country. And what jokes are for depends on the level of jokes.
In general, your business plan is not correct. I don’t remember, did you write about the trip to make a comedian laugh or not? In my opinion, it is a very significant case. Even with 100 jokes that you think are good, you can fail. And you're talking about a concert with tickets for 500 rubles. Select 100 really funny jokes that will blow up a very serious job.
And by the way, the author of the post, as I understand it, is not doing a concert, it was mentioned about printing. Possibly for a magazine. In the same circle of laughter, as far as I remember, more than 100 rubles for a joke will hardly give you. If you are not Semyon Altov. Here, after all, what for performances, what for printing, the price depends on who you are. If you are nobody, then the price of your jokes is the same.

qwerty Added: 03/07/2012 13:31 [+0 ]

I only asked the author of the post about the mention of authorship in the jokes he buys. But apparently he is not going to answer in the post, so apparently he will have to write to him by e-mail. This is basically the question I wanted answered. As for "Laugh the Comedian", castings are now taking place in Russia in Moscow for this program. Judges Zelensky and Maxim Galkin. This is also a real chance to earn money with your jokes, and if the jokes are killer, fifty pieces are enough. Our maximum win was 50,000 thousand UAH. this is approximately 190,000 rubles, at 4,000 rubles a piece. That's already a normal price, isn't it? If you want, let's write jokes or let's go and earn money, or is it more interesting and reliable for 100 rubles? I offer a proposal to write joint jokes seriously. Sincerely.

korkodil Added: 03/08/2012 10:37 [+0 ]

Well, I wish you good luck :) when you earn 190,000 rubles, write to the topic, I will be sincerely happy for you !!! :)

korkodil Added: 03/08/2012 10:34 [+0 ]

Yes, I remember, I received my first fee from "Around Laughter" ... For 100 rubles there you will have to sweat and give material that will interest the editor! In general, they repulsed the hunt for me!

korkodil Added: 03/08/2012 10:30 [+0 ]

Smiled! Well, what's stopping you from writing 100 jokes (even non-original ones) and go performing, earning ... mmm ... a million rubles :) Just a business plan !!! Do you know how many such ideas in the world for making money that are not implemented and will not come true?!
I can say that for quite a long period of time, despite the fact that I wrote jokes myself, I earned 0 from this!!! rubles!
Spend a question for interest - who on this site consistently earns money for their jokes ???

qwerty Added: 03/09/2012 02:15 [+0 ]

I'm not trying to make a million on jokes, I'm an altruist by nature. My main job brings me a decent income sufficient for the existence of my family. But the thoughts that I write (do not judge me by the creativity on this site specific tasks are given here) I want them to help other people see the world in a new way, on the other hand, look at it differently, smile, cry and do it so that everything what I said was true. I really want to change the world and make it a better place with a simple way to make people think.
Will my plans come true, I'm sure yes.
The fact that you did not earn on jokes may be the problem of your jokes or your management. Good luck.

Odessit Added: 03/09/2012 16:50 [+1 ]

I personally respect your economic views, but humor is the case when you either have to talk about real examples of making money on a sim, or not give empty advice.

qwerty Added: 03/09/2012 19:42 [+0 ]

It's hard to explain you, but I'll try again.
1.Before you make good money, make a good name. (Write a lot, write interestingly, walk with your legs, push with your hands, send to the editorial office, go to the auditions of the comedy battle, make the comedian laugh, etc., make acquaintances, and remember no one will help you, no one needs you, everyone doesn’t give a shit about you, so you should surprise immediately and irrevocably, only life can teach this, you should simply have a talent, if you don’t have it, you shouldn’t start, you will spend your whole life graphomaniac and take offense at everyone that they don’t understand you)
2. Sell but don't sell.
3. If you did not understand any of this, I'm sorry, I did my best.
If you think this is empty advice, I'm sorry.

Odessit Added: 03/09/2012 23:17 [+0 ]

* you should simply have a talent, if you don’t have it, you shouldn’t start, you will spend your whole life graphomaniac and be offended by everyone that they don’t understand you *

first, once I read somewhere in one smart book "the size of your talent directly depends on the number of words" talented ", spoken to you." secondly, do you really think that I (or someone else here) is offended by the world because no one understands me so "talented" and does not offer "many days"? you don’t need to equate everyone with yourself, there is such a concept as a hobby, but there is work. You can, of course, as you suggest, go to auditions and disgrace yourself on TV all over the country, demonstrating excitement in front of the camera instead of talent, but this doesn’t suit me personally.

qwerty Added: 03/10/2012 02:10 [+0 ]

Then choose what suits you and surprise everyone with it. Regards.

qwerty Added: 03/11/2012 03:41 [+0 ]

I am writing a book. I will publish it at the end of this year. I was at the castings. I did not pass. Because of my mistakes and ignorance of the process. It doesn’t need ordinary humor, but rather a freaky (unusual) one. Now I’m working on writing a number. As soon as I write and the next casting takes place, I’ll definitely go.

qwerty Added: 03/07/2012 03:12 [+1 ]

There are many options, publish your book, make your own website and plan as much as you like, but it will be yours, dear and not who knows. First of all, you need to respect your work, your intellect, your head. In my opinion, creating a funny joke is very difficult. That is, such a joke that no one has done before you. But maybe I'm wrong, this is my personal opinion. And "planing" jokes is probably a good thing, but in this situation, "lifelong alimony" will not be paid to you, but to an uncle whose you bought for a hundred rubles. And you have to fight and fight for your jokes, otherwise they will simply destroy you as a person. Thanks for the question.

Mikulex Added: 03/07/2012 09:57 [+0 ]

Estimate, you here on the site post jokes for free, and the owner of the site can easily give them to another site, print them in a magazine.
This is stated in the site rules.
And here you are offered a hundred for a joke of 2 lines. Which you can publish here, and then if it's good it will be stolen, and it will crawl on the Internet, and also without attribution. And even if which KVN team then uses it, then you won’t prove anything to anyone))

qwerty Added: 03/07/2012 13:37 [+1 ]

Before I post my jokes here, I publish them on the Poetry.Ru website. The Poetry.ru server provides authors with the opportunity to freely publish their literary works on the Internet on the basis of a user agreement. All copyrights to works belong to the authors and are protected by law. Reprinting of works is possible only with the consent of its author, which you can refer to on its author page. The authors bear responsibility for the texts of works independently on the basis of server rules and Russian legislation. You can also view more detailed information about the server and contact the administration.

Sincerely

vasya_hrenov Added: 03/07/2012 18:09 [+0 ]

disagree. it's the same as if Pelevin stood near the subway and sold his books himself.

qwerty Added: 03/09/2012 02:32 [+0 ]

But you get pleasure from the site, and this is the same money only in a different equivalent. Plus, the site works for the future and the money will come over time. You just need to constantly come up with something new, monitor readers and writers, see how others do it, and everything will work out. I am not against writing for money, I am against writing without authorship and I am categorical on this point, because it is like a castration of a person's personal essence. And in this case (the case of Korkodil's proposal), I want to fill my hand by stuffing my face, because I think it's unfair. Sincerely

Odessit Added: 03/07/2012 07:23 [+2]

"Publish a book, make a website" - well ... a business plan, frankly, the chickens were crying)) "And you have to fight and fight for your jokes, otherwise they will simply destroy you as a person." - Dear, you are in a bad mood today, I suppose. You can't write this if you're drunk))

qwerty Added: 03/07/2012 12:49 [+2]

I'm in a great mood, just like always. If you think that selling a joke for one hundred (two hundred) rubles is an excellent business plan, I wish you good luck. Sincerely.

Odessit Added: 03/07/2012 16:17 [+0 ]

I generally think that the definition of a business plan in relation to humor is inappropriate. It's unrealistic to make money by coming up with jokes alone, in my opinion. Unless if there is a whole scenario of a comic direction for cinema or TV, then yes, otherwise ... Well, if you know how to earn more than 100 rubles by inventing jokes alone, and even on a remote basis, share your experience, please. Create a website - this is not advice, you understand)

qwerty Added: 03/09/2012 01:56 [+0 ]

In order to earn (or let's call it additional earnings) at a price of 100 rubles. you can write 100 pieces per piece per month (more if you wish and skill) is 10,000 rubles or $ 330. This is not God knows, but it’s real. Pros: When writing jokes so tightly, you improve your skills, you get money, you do what you love. Cons: you don't get authorship, you don't get the money that the dude who resells or rewrites your jokes into scripts, etc., Nobody respects you, because nobody knows. And the main problem is that there are a lot of you, some write out, others get tired, others eke out a miserable existence for $ 300, but at the very least, the flow does not dry out and the dude who pays you a penny lives perfectly because he is the author all these jokes, intelligence, supercar and with a good bubble for selling them. Although in essence it is a simple cheap compiler for the same hundred rubles. Now think about why you need it. Or, in extreme cases, if I haven’t convinced you, think about why you are worse and create competition for this dude (throw such an offer into the network for 110 rubles for a joke, beat his price and you are the AUTHOR, GENIUS, WORLD FAMOUS. (Okay, just kidding, just kidding). Advice on how to earn one from century to century, you have to work, day and night, this is the first condition. Write, write, and write). they will not understand, but you must have an inner voice that, like a gyroscope, will lead you out of any difficult situation and which will tell you that you are right, that you are the best, that you are the one and only author of your works. It will not be easy, it has never been easy. respect

korkodil Added: 03/10/2012 03:33 PM [+2]

Hmm... You will convince me! :) Dear, well, first earn these 300 bucks and make your Humorial.ru website on them and write under your own authorship !!! As they say: "I didn't kill the bear, but I already sold the skin!!!" It’s even ridiculous to argue on this topic, you can draw another analogy if you work for someone ... Quit work, work for yourself, why are you earning money for someone ??? After all, no one gives a damn about your name, no matter who made the part for the tractor or sewed the underpants!!! And you neck panties and of course put your signature!
It turns out to write and earn money - do it, but if you don’t earn money, what’s the point of writing ??? So that later your ancestor found a page on the stichera with your jokes and laughed???

Odessit Added: 03/10/2012 17:48 [+0 ]

*So that later your ancestor would find a page on the stichera with your jokes and laugh???*

descendant))

qwerty Added: 03/11/2012 04:23 [+0 ]

In our country, you can only earn money by stealing (deceiving) or by working for yourself and for yourself. Who chooses which option is up to him to decide. And even if an ancestor-descendant someday finds your jokes and laughs at them or at you, then to amuse one person is also a huge job and is no longer in vain. BUT WE WANT MORE. But whether we are worthy of it or not, everything is in our hands, I would even say in our heads. Sincerely.

korkodil Added: 03/10/2012 03:37 PM [+0 ]

That's a good idea, by the way - why don't you "interrupt" my offer? Offer the authors 110 rubles and get rich!!! I tell everyone - be honest! I will not be against!!! If someone earns money on their talent - great!

qwerty Added: 03/11/2012 04:01 [+0 ]

I don’t do this. I’m ashamed to do this and disgusting. And I don’t advise anyone. Such a person can be seen immediately and this does not do him credit. It’s like wearing someone else’s underwear, it’s not clear what you pick up.
Why do I need this, if I can write myself. So close to literary impotence, the brain stops thinking and you stop respecting yourself.
And you will (if you can) earn money, but not the authors, in fact, stealing these jokes for nothing from people who pecked (out of stupidity, out of ignorance or in view of momentary financial difficulties) to your proposal.

korkodil Added: 03/08/2012 10:42 [+0 ]

If your work is bought, this is a real assessment of your work, and so ... in fact, you can write mmm ... low-quality jokes, publish them on poems.ru, so what? Hundreds, maybe thousands, are already doing this ... It's called writing on the table! Where is the incentive?

qwerty Added: 03/08/2012 23:58 [+0 ]

I agree, if the work is paid, then this is some kind of assessment. But not in this way (without attribution and for a hundred rubles). As for my creativity, time will judge. As for the stimulus, then creativity is the stimulus, which is what I wish you. Sincerely

Aviagerman Added: 03/07/2012 14:17 [+1]

It seems to me that the absolute majority of the site does not have a material component. I think if any of us receives first-hand information, let's say / site organizers /, that your joke was made in such and such a KVN team, or in such and such a program - this will be the best reward. And if there is a tyama, writing a new one is not a problem at all.

gorchagov Added: 03/07/2012 15:36 [+1]

If my jokes are popular, then I will be glad. And when they are constantly popular, then I will start selling them.

I responsibly declare - at the moment exactly 0 rubles 00 kopecks have been earned on the jokes of the authors !!!
And for whom is it easier?

vester Added: 03/11/2012 10:04 AM [+1 ]

100 rubles for a joke is certainly not money. But the point is different. You will write 10 jokes, of which you will be paid only for two, and here you will understand which jokes you have are really funny, which ones are in demand. Next time, maybe 5 jokes out of 10 will be taken away from you. This can improve your skills by watching how these jokes are built. And then look for where to sell your jokes at a normal price, knowing that you yourself can come up with good jokes. On this site, people have been posting jokes for free for years, and nothing. The dude offered to pay for it, he was immediately taken away. Nonsense.

qwerty Added: 03/11/2012 04:35 PM [+0 ]

You apparently did not understand. You don't write, he does. You will only get money. It's called selling your name and becoming master of NOBODY. That's just the problem. If you want to write, the humposter is waiting. No one attacked anyone, this is called a constructive dialogue. Sincerely.

vasya_hrenov Added: 03/16/2012 5:06 pm [+0 ]

let's dot the i's:

first moment:
you think that every person on the site wants to become famous on their own, thanks to their own ability to create humor.

As you can see, this is a rather strange statement of the question. If you have just such goals, it does not mean that all people are the same.

someone likes to just write and he doesn’t want to be an artist, and he also doesn’t want to do the work of a sales manager and engage in an independent search for buyers for his work

second point:
commissioned work can significantly speed up your independent development as an author, and, accordingly, bring closer the moment when you realize that the quality of the humor you create will be sufficient to start thinking about promoting your own name

qwerty Added: 03/23/2012 01:47 [+0 ]

I just want the one who deserves it to become famous, and not the one who has more money. Let's be different, but let's be honest and first of all to ourselves. And do not be shy to work on different fronts, because "a talented person is talented in everything" (I by no means have myself).
Working on yourself can accelerate your development. And to order, if you don’t know how to work, then you won’t earn anything, no matter how hard you try (if you’re not a unique person). And don’t think that if you promote your name, it will work for you all the time. The name is the same engine, he can go for some time by inertia, or from a hill, but the hill ends with time and he needs recharge, energy that will spin the crankshaft of the pendulum of popularity. Therefore, just, once again, work on yourself and work on yourself and more self-respect, we are unique, aren't we?

vasya_hrenov Added: 03/16/2012 5:14 pm [+0 ]

There is also such a moment that many authors are not able to treat their work critically, to evaluate it objectively. Everyone believes that what he creates is just masterpieces and if he only shows them to the public, everyone will be simply delighted. In fact, in order to develop as an author, you need to plow a lot and have an objective independent assessment of your work.

And the fact - whether people are ready to buy your work and can become a source of such an objective assessment. So selling your jokes and writing custom humor can be an objective measure of your quality as a writer.

I am sure that the majority of people who are outraged that "how is it - you offer such ridiculous money for our work" no one would buy jokes even for a ruble apiece.

You can often hear witty and talented people with a good sense of humor in television programs where valuable prizes are raffled off. You may also have thought about trying your hand at humor, especially if you are good at making jokes in everyday life. However, in order to make money on humor, it is not at all necessary to go to some television shows. Let's look at how you can make money on your good sense of humor.

First, you should pay attention to the fact that jokes really need to be funny in order for it to be profitable. And in order to determine how funny your humor is, it is necessary not only to find out the opinion of your loved ones, but also perhaps the opinion of people less familiar to you. Ask them to honestly evaluate your humor, regardless of the fact that their criticism may offend you.

1 So, the first business idea is to write a funny script for some holiday or celebration. It's not about becoming the host of a wedding or corporate party yourself. But if your script or just a number is really funny, then most of the hosts are likely to want to buy it. In addition, you yourself can perform by creating your own humorous number. To find clients for this, you can create your own website, or simply place an ad on the Internet. It is worth noting that this option is most suitable for those who are just starting their career in humor.

2 Another idea is writing texts and jokes for KVN people. Almost everyone who plays KVN does not compose jokes themselves. They buy them. Some teams have their own editors, who also often buy jokes from unknown authors. Therefore, you can make good money on this. How to sell your jokes? If you live in a large city, then some higher educational institutions have their own KVN teams. You can simply contact these institutions and offer your texts to those who play KVN. Some famous KVN teams have websites. You can contact them via the Internet and also offer your text. You know what heights a successful performance in KVN leads to, therefore, for this, KVN workers are ready to pay money.

3 Another option already requires many years of humorous experience. For example, you can publish your own book, which will be a collection of jokes, funny stories, stories. Or maybe you can take a swing at a humorous novel. To do this, you can contact the publishing house, but if it refuses to sponsor your work, then you can publish a book at your own expense, but at the same time make money on its sales.

4 Some local newspapers have humorous columns. In order to become the author of jokes in this section, you can contact the publisher of this newspaper or magazine.

5 Of course, the most attractive opportunity to make money on your own humor is public speaking for money. You may not immediately be able to earn as much as you would like. You may not even be able to make money at all, but later on you can have a decent profit by gaining fame due to the fact that people will recognize you. For example, you can speak at the day of the city or at some other event. If your performance is successful, then most likely people will invite you to speak at their celebrations.

6 Often in large cities there are special clubs where people come to listen to humor. For example, it can be stand-up clubs. As a rule, the owners of these clubs will only be happy to see really talented comedians. Of course, the cost of the performance will depend on the quality of the humor as well as your popularity in these circles. Perhaps your first performances will be almost free, but later, having gained popularity, you yourself will dictate the conditions under which you agree to speak.

7 Well, as mentioned at the beginning, you can make money on television projects, where everyone can demonstrate their humor, and at the same time win a valuable prize. Of course, winning in such projects is not easy, but even if you fail, you will be able to advertise your talent and gain additional popularity in your circles.

And so you wrote something that you called a "story" for yourself, and you had a completely crazy idea to sell your story. And sell, as we all understand, for money. What can Runet offer you to implement your idea?

1. A hundred sites of a hundred idiots who also know how to dream. And they dream of dragging you to some content exchange as their referral. These comrades will convince you that thousands of webmasters are just waiting for you to put your story up for sale in order to immediately buy it.

The reasoning of such referral hunters is quite understandable: you put up a story, another, a third, you will see that it is not for sale, try to write an article, a second, another one ... who brought him to the content exchange solid commissions.

It is not necessary to believe the promises of those who “share secrets”, where to sell the story and to whom to sell the story. Despite the fact that they almost showed you the right path. But more on that later.

3. But you still say “I want to sell the story!!!” and... you get to the sites and blogs of idiots and romantics from literature, who themselves have not sold a single story, have never attached a single manuscript of their own, have tried all the free methods that supposedly allow them to become a modern Internet literary star, and now they are willing to share with you richest experience.

What, let's finish on this, or try to figure it out, is there at least a small opportunity for realizing what was conceived for those who are recognized only as their closest friends, and possible only for myself alone - I dream of selling the story? Let's try to figure it out.

Early 90s. During the book boom, only the one who could not write did not become a writer. I just couldn't, I didn't know the letters. The rest were requested not to write. And as soon as you write a story that really deserves attention, it will immediately be taken away by some publishing house, of which there were several hundred in Moscow alone at that time. If the story was sensible, it was "driven" into some thematic collection, and sold, giving you 12 author's copies of the book and a small fee. If the story (as they said then) felt the potential, then five or six literary slaves in a week expanded it into a novel, and it came out as a separate book under paperback or hardcover. Your royalties were again small. Yes, and instead of you, the book was signed with the name of some author, invented by the publishing house itself.

But those days are gone...

And they were replaced by "Samizdat" ...

I can’t even imagine if this literary dump exists today, I haven’t been there for 5 years, if not 8.

But if I already remembered it, then let me remind you that after the end of the literary boom, Samizdat declared itself as a site that representatives of various publishing houses surf in search of interesting manuscripts and original authors. There was even a list of a dozen exactly - authors who were allegedly found in samizdat.

It all ended with nothing:

I have not met anyone who could sell a story through the Samizdat website;

Today (on the day this article was written) 8,000 fans and lovers of literature have visited the site.

Hey ladies and gentlemen, sorry but you are lost in time!!!

And about "Samizdat". I always had a question for those who published there: I don’t understand, isn’t it easier to immediately send the manuscript to all publishers? Why take a roundabout route instead, posting the story in an incomprehensible place (and for many, this was the answer to “where to sell the story?”). And then it’s not clear to wait for what and for whom (and here is the question “to whom to sell the story?”. You can just as well paste the sheets of the manuscript on the nearest fence. What if a certain publisher, passing by, starts reading, and then ...

If you have intrinsic motivation and a sense of humor, you can build a career writing jokes or numbers for KVN or stand-up comedy. Like the fuel that keeps a car running, fresh new jokes are the bread and butter for a comic actor's career to thrive. They are never enough. Jokes are not allowed here just for the sake of quantity.

Not only do Rodney Dangfield, Joan Rivers and David Brenner work on their own jokes, but they also commission materials from freelancers. They don't want their viewers to know about it, but they do it.

And other artists do the same with success, especially if they work on television. Television swallows materials faster than the shark of a gaping swimmer. Did you know that in the early stages of their careers, Jay Leno and David Letterman actually wrote material for Jimmy "JJ" Walker?

That is why powerful joke writers are always needed. Bruce Vilanch is a Hollywood show producer, and he also writes most of the "witty answers" that come from other stars. He also writes humorous material for Whoopi Goldberg as well as for the Emmys and Oscars. (Damn, he gets so much done. I think I hate him for it.)

And one day you will benefit from writing jokes - and word of mouth will go in the right circles, and there is a good chance that other comedians may want to work with you. But I want to warn you: artists can be terrible in character, such is the nature of the artist. (Not mine, of course. Other artists. Well, well, mine too ... But only a little bit.)

If you write killer jokes for one artist, they may want you to work with them all the time. Artists basically want their peers and the public to think that they are brilliant and that all their best jokes are written by themselves.

We will discuss writing jokes for stars later. But first you need to take the first step. And it's much easier than you might think.

Just like writing situation comedies, jokes have their own structure too. This is a craft and you need to learn it. Excellent book on writing jokes by Jean Perret "How to Write and Sell Your Sense of Humor." And another book she wrote, "Comedy Writing Workbook." It can be easily found in the Amazon.com bookstore. Jean is an Emmy award-winning veteran comedy writer who has also written for Bob Hope and The Carol Barnett Show.

When writing jokes, you want to get to the punchline as quickly as possible, using as few words as possible. This is the main rule. The exception, of course, are jokes with long intros like "This buxom topless nun walks into a biker bar...etc."

Remember that when you write humorous stories, be clear about the underlying circumstances in order to paint a picture in your audience's mind. And if the public needs it, don't disappoint them. As a rule, the audience does not like to think too much and requires certain and clear situations (at least the drunk audience definitely does).

Rule #1: Move on to punching jokes as quickly as possible.

Rule #2: If you don't think it's funny, then the audience won't either. Perret always says, "Writing comedy is a job that requires you to wipe down your pants." And he's right.

You should write on various topics that interest you. But more importantly, they must be interesting to the public. And of course there are many different styles of jokes. (Read Jean's book for more on this issue). But most importantly, you should never let the public know how your joke ends. Don't let them get ahead of you. Humor is built on surprises. Here is an example of my joke based on a change of direction.

"Boy, if you're thinking of going to a high school reunion, don't, don't! You're in for a big disappointment. People change. I once met a man from my school. Gray beard, beer belly, thinning hair ... But when then she was the prom queen."

Now you can stop laughing (Good already). OK. Let's continue. Don't go too deep into analyzing your jokes. Just write, edit, write again, edit again. Show your work to your friends or family (except for jokes about themselves.) And find out from them which of the jokes are really funny.

If a joke gets a good response, see if you can make it even funnier by removing something extra. By reducing the introductory circumstances, or changing the final phrase (driving). Play with it.

Never get attached to jokes that you yourself liked. If it does not evoke a response from the audience, throw it out, forget about it.

Above all, don't defend the jokes you've been denied. No need to convince and convince your friends on whom you are testing jokes. "Not a guy... you just didn't get it... The bottom line is..." No, he got it. It just wasn't funny.

Just move on. After you've tormented your loved ones by asking them what they think about your material, it's time to reach out to another audience. Which will already pay money. And the best way to see if you really "thought of something worthwhile" is to present your materials yourself in front of an audience, for example, in the local Comedy Club. (Or agree and speak during the break of the local number of KVN. approx. transl.)

Rule #3: Don't give a hot cocktail to a waitress in a club where you'll be out dancing. This is my advice. Not Jean Perret. (Yes, I got it the hard way.)

The best part is that you will immediately know which of the jokes actually work. (And a little later, I will tell you how the local Comedy Club (or KVN) can help in your career.) But now - you will have homework. If you've seen comedian Leno or Letterman and you think he's really funny... learn from him. Each artist has a unique "voice", his own "trick" that positions him, whether it is his actual appearance in real life (perhaps he writes thematic materials) or perhaps it is a "character" or a character that he created.

In other words, the public treats him that way for a reason and laughs at what he says (eg Jake Johnson, Paola Pundston, Sam Kingston).

Their characters, style, or presentation make them unique. And jokes written for one won't work for another. And if you see them in action, you will certainly understand why. (Of course, there are exceptions to every rule.)

And now the good part. How can you earn from it. That's why they call it "showbiz". It seems that every city in America today has its own Comedy Club (KVN is more common in Russia so far). No rationale, maybe it's a federal law.

If you've seen comedians on TV that you really like, focus on their material and style. Understand what they think is funny and what the audience is laughing at.

Does he attack the injustice of society? (as Lewis Black) Or is he self-deprecating? (as Richard Lewis) Or he provides essay materials (Jerry Seinfeld)

Then find out when he will perform. Watch him perform and try to talk to him after the show. Explain that you are not only an admirer of his work, but also a comedy writer. Ask him if he wants to buy some jokes from you.

Most of the artists are usually available and will of course take a look at your material. (At the very least, it won't hurt you to just ask.) And it's better if you've worked on specific jokes for his (or her) character - he'll be even more flattered and more excited to see what you've "done".

Clue. If an artist has some fame and is on TV, there's a good chance they're getting paid for it. And yet they cannot afford to purchase materials from you. But if an entertainer or producer likes your material, he will be able to pay you a commission to write some jokes for this actor specifically. If he can use them, he will buy them.

Just like two and two. And don't be afraid to ask him what topic to focus on. Usually these are children, family, sex, anniversaries, politics. (The last three topics generally go hand in hand.) Trust me, comedians wept when Clinton left the White House.

And imagine that this performer will try to get you cheap. Such is nature. You are hungry and he knows it. The comedian runs a business... on his own. He's got overhead and possibly an ex-wife who bleeds money out of him on a regular basis.

As a beginner, you can expect $25 to $50 per joke. When you have more clients, and when more presenters and comedians use your material on TV, you can ask for more.

Heed the advice: You can write fifteen to thirty jokes, and he will only buy three from you. If this happens, you are just lucky. Comedians are still picky.

And remember that if a humorist buys a joke from you, it becomes his own. You have lost all rights to it. And you CANNOT sell it to other artists. Absolutely absolutely impossible! If you do this, and it is discovered, it will be terribly not beautiful. Your reputation will be destroyed. You'll be forced out of show business and possibly end up homeless or worse... and you'll have to take a job with your dad.

Just write clear, great jokes.

OK. You are now writing for some performing artists, you are satisfied and now you feel it is time for more. Want to write for Rodney or Joan? Then you need to get in touch with "their people" and see if the stars will take your jokes as a freelancer. The stars guard their privacy, so you have to be creative. (Please... just don't be intrusive.)

All American comedy stars are members of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (AFTRA) or the Screen Actors Guild.

Contact their association (friend request) and ask for the phone number of their agent or PR manager. Before you call an agent, you should be prepared. They usually don't like to be bothered and will most likely hand you over to a public relations manager or some other manager to take care of you.

If you have contacted a public relations manager, briefly explain your intentions. Remember: You cannot pretend to be just a fan. You are a professional humorist, so behave accordingly. Luckily, they will guide you in the right direction on exactly how to sell humorous material to their client (if he actually buys such material).

You may come across a list of items that the star is looking for. And before sending any jokes, they will ask you to fill out a joke transfer rights form. This is done, if the star buys any humorous materials, they must belong to her.

You may not have a chance to meet with your client first. If things go well and you perform well, there is a chance you will get a call from him. All communication usually takes place via e-mail or fax.

And if you meet the needs of a star, earn money and build a long and successful career. Then you can brag to your family that you have finally achieved something and you are glad that you have fulfilled your dream, and that at one time you did not give up and did not get a job with your father.

I do not recommend sending jokes to late-night TV shows (Letterman, Leno). It's very hard to break up with this - and they have a whole staff of paid writers or use freelancers with whom they build relationships over the years.

Writing jokes for comedians is the best way to succeed. Good luck, keep your nose to the wind.