What does it mean to completely ignore the former lover. The psychology of ignoring

It's always frustrating to be ignored, whether it's your friend, sister, or boyfriend. In order for this person to stop ignoring you, you need to take a step back and think about what caused it. After that, talk to the person, apologize if necessary, and find a mutual solution. If that doesn't work, it might be time to break off the relationship and move on.

Steps

Part 1

1. Give this person more personal space. If a person is ignoring you, then the worst thing you can do is call, text and VKontakte every five seconds, or even follow the person, asking him: “What happened? What I've done?" Perhaps you want to make every effort to build relationships, but you should not do all of the above. Instead, step back and let the person cool off or just move away from you a bit and think about what you can do.

   • The desire to get instant results and solve problems in the same second is quite natural. However, it's worth letting the person cool off so you can both think about what happened instead of starting a conversation you're not ready for.

2. Make sure the person is really ignoring you. Perhaps not everything is as it seems? Are you sure the person is actually ignoring you and not just too busy to answer your calls the second you dial them? Maybe the person is really in a bad mood or is in a bad situation and thinks ignoring everyone is the best way to deal with it.

   • See how this person behaves with other people. Is he open to chatting, acting friendly and familiar with others? If so, then yes, it's most likely you. But if it seems that a person has moved away from the world around him a little and behaves in a closed way, then most likely you have thought too much for yourself.

3. Think about why the person might be angry with you. Well, if you have decided that the person is really ignoring you, then it's time to dig deeper and determine what you could have done to make this happen. In some cases, it's quite simple - maybe you really offended the person by not inviting him to the party, maybe this person heard you spread rumors about him, or maybe you said something hurtful, although you didn’t want it, but the person frustrated because of this.

   • If you identify the reason, you will be more prepared before starting a conversation than if you simply ask the person directly why he is ignoring you. Knowing the reason will allow you to choose the right words and defend yourself if something happens. Forewarned is forearmed.
   • However, keep in mind that the reason may not be a good one. Perhaps the person decided that with your harmless act you wanted to harm him. Even if you think you're right, it's helpful to know what the person really thinks.
4. • Of course, you shouldn't contact every mutual acquaintance to find out why this person is angry with you, otherwise the information will reach him, and then he will become even more angry.

5. Don't let this problem consume you. Yes, no one likes to be ignored. This can be especially painful if this person is your best friend or significant other. If you are used to spending a lot of time with this person or just chatting in the same company, then yes, it is unpleasant when you are given a cold reception for no reason. It may infuriate you, cause bad thoughts about yourself, or provoke embarrassment, especially if the person intentionally does this in front of other people. However, no matter how unpleasant the situation, you should focus on your life and your goals, on what makes you happy - do not show the person that your happiness depends only on your relationship with him.

   • Of course, it will annoy you, but life goes on. Tell yourself, "I'll be angry that my friend doesn't talk to me from 5:00 pm to 5:15 pm, and then I'll get back to my life." If you think about it over and over, you won't get better.

   Part 2

   Take a step

   1. Talk to the person. Once you've given the person some space and have an idea of ​​why the person is mad at you, it's time to try starting a conversation. Do not do this in a public place or in the middle of the day when there is a chance that the person will be busy or tired; instead, ask the person if you can meet later and choose a suitable place and time to talk. If the person doesn't really want to do business with you, then choose a time when you can talk alone without being too annoying.

      • Tell the person that you are offended by being ignored and that you would like to talk about it. Let him know what your relationship means to you and how you want to connect with him again.
      • If you genuinely don't understand what's going on, ask. Tell him that it will make both of you feel better if he reveals his reasons for ignoring you.
      • If you have romantic feelings for this person, be prepared for the fact that he no longer likes you, or that he no longer shares your feelings. Yes, it hurts, but it's better to know about it than to guess what a person really thinks.

   2. Make an apology if necessary. If you know or have been told why the person is ignoring you, then look the person in the eye, be serious, and tell them that you are really sorry that you did this. Tell the person that you are truly sorry for what you did and that it will never happen again. Show that the relationship means a lot to you and that you have thought long and hard about wishing it never happened. Don't get distracted, let the person see the pain on your face, show how sorry you are.

      • If the person is upset about what you did, but you really think that there is nothing to apologize for, then you will have to make a decision. Do you want to stand in a pose and not ask for an apology, because nothing catastrophic happened? Or is it better to apologize to mend the relationship and stop being ignored? The choice is yours.

   3. If apologizing doesn't help, then back off. Okay, you've already apologized, and the person isn't moving, or he or she still feels offended. If you did something really hurtful - changed, spread rumors, or upset a person - then an apology alone will not be enough. Maybe the person is telling you that what you have done is unforgivable; perhaps the person will tell you that they want to be friends with you, but it will take time for the pain to subside. Whatever you hear, respect the person's needs and back off.

      • You probably want to return everything to its place overnight, even if the person says that he needs more personal space. However, keep in mind that emotional wounds do not heal immediately. Don't rush, give it time.
      • The endless "I'm sorry" will not be of any use. It's time to give this person time and space to sort out themselves and the situation. It won't be easy, but there is no other way.

   4. Determine if it's worth it to keep putting in the effort. Maybe this person is really stubborn. Perhaps he no longer wants to be your friend or partner. If you feel like only that person has problems, and you've done everything you can to get them back and nothing has worked, then it's probably time to move on and forget about them. It may sound harsh, but if you understand that a person only does what harms you, why waste time trying to make peace?

      • Think, listen to yourself. If a person is not worth your effort, then you will feel it in your heart.
   • Just ask him if this person wants to be friends or have a relationship with you.
   • Understand that you may be ignored because of your words.
   • Do not make an elephant out of a fly - perhaps everything is wrong. as it seems, and you are not ignored at all.
   • If someone ignores you, don't ignore them back. A wedge cannot always be knocked out with a wedge. Give the person time - perhaps he will reevaluate his views and understand what upsets you.
   • Be polite and caring towards this person, even if he does not like it.
   • Tell the person that they are important to you and that they are upsetting you with their behavior.
   • Leave him alone and move on. People who deliberately ignore you should also be ignored.
   • Find someone who wants to be with you and who will always be with you and communicate with you. Be happy, don't forget your self-respect, do your best for your relationship.
   • If you do not know the reason, and they do not want to voice it to you, then this is at least impolite.
   • Do not show your weakness and vulnerability. Otherwise, you may be taken advantage of. Be decisive. If a person doesn't want to be your friend, well, they don't deserve it, and you deserve better.

People are emotional by nature. Nature endowed a woman with bright colors of feelings, and a man with muted ones. Everyone is capable of feeling, but they know how to express their feelings in different ways. A man tends to go into his cave, close himself there from prying eyes and think. There can be many reasons for this: from troubles at work to conflicts at home. A woman does not need a cave, she needs communication, a scandal, if you like.

If a man feels bad, then he should be left alone, if a woman feels bad, she should never be left alone. From this follows silence and ignoring the woman by the man, and she, in turn, requires conversations. And silence is perceived solely as indifference, and a decrease in sympathy for her from the partner.

All this is true only if a man likes a woman. Otherwise, ignoring it should be considered as honesty and decency. A real man is not an animal that takes everything that is given in "paws". Contrary to popular belief that men are polygamous creatures, there are exceptions who are able to be faithful and love one woman. Usually such men are well-mannered, polite and responsive. They know how to love, and therefore respect a woman. They love their one, but they know when to give a hand to the other, throw a jacket over their shoulders and say a compliment-fact. In this case, you misinterpreted his habits and standard courtesies, and ignoring him is justified.

He probably saw interest on your part, and decided to completely disown you so as not to give you false hope.

Doesn't he like you? Step aside, don't change yourself.

So, if your man began to ignore, then, firstly, you should not panic, and secondly, you should understand the reasons for what happened.

Possible reasons: 1) I'm not confident.

Perhaps the man is too timid, he has low self-esteem and he simply does not believe in his victory, i.e. in response feelings. If you think that you live with a man, and you have already told him a hundred times about your reciprocal feelings, then this will strengthen his self-esteem, then this approach is not justified. A man can be married to you, but be shy, not to mention those relationships that are just starting to develop. It is common for a woman to blurt out unpleasant things in the heat of passion, purely from emotions. A man perceives such words at face value. Ignoring in this case acts as a shield, it is a defensive reaction of the partner. Representatives of the stronger sex are afraid to be rejected, so they prefer to keep silent and do nothing. Often men turn on "ignore" based on past bad experiences.

If, by nature, he cannot think of anything better than “playing dead,” then think about whether you can live with an eternal deserter. 2) Likes to wear a crown.

Often a man forgets that climbing into the windows of his beloved women is their prerogative. They begin to expect a feat from a woman. Let, they say, she first begins to put up or come up on the dance floor. The classic said: "The less we love a woman, the more she likes us." The classic said, and women to disentangle. The man turns on the cold in his heart and waits for his "lioness" to bring prey to his feet, while he will lie imposingly and ignore. This tactic is used to elevate oneself in the eyes of a woman who has been liked (or has long been dearly loved). 3) Waiting for proof of your feelings.

Perhaps the man is not sure of the reciprocal feelings and is waiting for you to start proving it and give him a special sign. In this case, the man does not expect obvious feats on your part, a smile, a look and affectionate words are enough for him. 4) Interest did not grow into love.

A woman can really like, but not be the only one. Sympathy is not love, so a man can look closely and not be encouraging. On lack of fish and cancer fish. But you don't live in a lake! 5) A man does not share the views and behavior of a woman.

It is likely that the main reason for alienation is your behavior or actions. He does not share your views, and it is likely that he is simply offended. Perhaps you didn't respect his friends or didn't answer the phone. Or maybe he doesn't like your new haircut or short skirt. It could be anything.

What should a woman do if a man ignores her?
Tip 1

Don't doubt yourself

You are amazing, you deserve to be loved, and you deserve the best. If ignoring is significant, for example, if the partner does not love you, but is simply friendly, then let him go and let new meetings into your life. One guy doesn't like your hairstyle, that's okay, the other will really like it.

Don't change yourself into a man. When your soul mate appears in your life, then be sure that he will like both your loud laugh and blue strands of hair.
Tip 2

The man is the conqueror, not you

There was a princess in the tower guarded by dragons! Not a prince! And fighting is his destiny, and yours is to sit and wait until he defeats the dragon. Let him turn on the future prince and turn off Ivanushka the Fool.

Decided to ignore you? Let be! You sit and wait for him to start conquering you again. And if he does not decide, then he is not yours. Don't call first, don't text a ton, and don't be seen more often than the traffic police on the highway. Of course, if you are sure not only of his feelings, but also that you offended him the day before, then go ahead, to him, and with apologies.
Tip 3

Turn on the philosopher in you

Everything that is not done is all for the better. Yours is not going anywhere from you. And everything else is in the same vein. Think positively, draw pictures of yourself happy and know for sure that people do not come into life by chance, just someone for experience, and someone forever.

Be sympathetic to temporary cooling, perhaps a man needs to be alone for a while, so that later he can “stick” to you more tightly. Give him time to sit in your cave. It will come out and start to conquer you, you'll see.
Tip 4

Learn from your experience

Any situation is given to a person for positive conclusions. Even the worst situations provide useful lessons. Review the past, find your mistakes and understand how to avoid them in the future. If you offended a man, then have the courage to admit it and do not do this in the future.
Tip 5

It's not about you

It often happens that a man does not ignore you, but is simply confused, in problems and in minor troubles. For example, he broke the bumper of his beloved car, so he ignores not only you, but the whole world, except for the broken iron horse. Don't take everything personally. Ignoring can be caused by a bad mood, heavy sleep, or simply heartburn or problems with male power. Try to find out what is the reason and only then take offense at his coldness.

Tip 6

Don't push the man

It is women who need a ton of tenderness, words, signs of attention, a hundred thousand kisses and hugs. The stronger sex needs respect and understanding, and not an enveloping marshmallow of emotions. Put it aside - "musik-pussy", "temochki", "bunny". And repeated pleas to say out loud how beautiful, best, sexy, charming, etc. you are.
Tip 7

Get away to another love zone

Did a man decide to play silent? Go to the movies, theater or shopping with your friends. Do not get hung up on a man, you should have your own hobby and your own recreation area. It happens that a woman is so close to a man that he just wants to move away a little. And not because he fell out of love, but because he needs personal space.

In this short article, I want to talk to you about one very unpleasant thing that occurs in all people without exception. This is ignorance. On this page we will find out what it means to ignore, why people do it to us, and why we do it. The psychology of ignoring is what we are going to study here.

What is ignorance?

First I want to talk about my attitude towards ignoring. More than anything, I hate being ignored. Ignoring- it's like when they don't put you in anything, they consider you nobody. You feel like an empty shell in such a team. And if you are now in such a team, then you are very unlucky.

Everyone wants to feel important and needed. Who doesn't like to feel like that? I had once when I got into such a team, where I felt invisible. And all attempts to establish contact failed before they even started. This situation arose when I graduated from high school and entered the university. I do not know why, but the relationship with the team did not work out. I was ignored for a very long time, and I felt bad about it.

This usually occurs when people have different interests and views of the world. If you start talking with a person who is not interested in what you are interested in, then the conversation will not start. You will just walk around and feel awkward from silence. The next time you just try to avoid meeting this person. This is ignorance, that is, when a person tries in every possible way not to make contact with another person for certain reasons.

What does it mean to ignore?

Ignoring can be intentional or unintentional. Unintentional ignoring occurs when a person really does not consider himself to be giving someone his attention. If a person is really not interesting to him, then what now, to squeeze out a desire to talk to him?

In general, people are divided into their flocks. When I was at university, I discovered that at the beginning of my studies, we all communicated amicably. Later there was a division of one whole team into flocks. One flock sat at one table, a second flock sat at another table, and my brother and I sat at the fifth table. We failed to join the company. Anyway. It was and it is gone.

Intentional ignoring is caused by some reasons. You must know by now that man is always running from pain to pleasure. If you like a person, then you communicate with him, if you don’t like him, then you avoid him, tobish ignore him.

For example, once in my life there was the following picture. I liked one girl, we communicated very well with her, but when I confessed my sympathy to her, for some reason she suddenly began to ignore me. It was the other way around, I tried not to communicate with the girl who wanted to stir up with me. And this often happens to other people as well. It is worth talking about your sympathy, as the attitude towards a person immediately changes. Sometimes it seems that it is better to hide your relationship with another person in order to save the current relationship. How to meet a girl and have sex with her on the first date? Or vice versa, declare your intentions faster, and what will be, will be.

Ignores are of several types. The first type is ignoring the fact of what is happening. This is when a person refuses to notice the connection that gives rise to a specific problem. For example, a person began to gain excess weight. They tell him to start taking care of himself, but he refuses to hear it and take it seriously. So he continues to eat and gain weight.

Ignoring the very fact of the problem. This is when a person comes to terms with what is happening, but refuses to admit that reality presents any other problem. The person has taken everything and is resigned to it, but refuses to admit that he is guilty of this.

Ignoring opportunities. A person knows that he can lose weight if he starts going to the gym and eating little, but somehow he is not up to it. It often happens that a person is given an opportunity, but he ignores it intentionally. Type: "But I didn't see anything".

Very often a person ignores another person in order to punish him, hurt or offend. That is, it is deliberate ignorance. Between opposite sexes, ignorance is demonstrated in order to attract attention. Women love to do this. So they show their resentment. But we men do not understand this. We take everything seriously and literally. Therefore, we meet ignorance aggressively - we respond with ignorance. So it turns out that the level of inaction and conflict are growing.

If you are a girl, then I do not advise you to ignore those guys that you like. This will not lead to anything good, since such a method always does not live up to expectations. If you are a guy, then you should understand that perhaps the girl wants to attract your attention, show her resentment, or just wants you to run after her. Ignoring is part of the game between opposite sexes like prove that you need / need me.

And there are often times when one person really cares about another person. In families, this often happens when partners eventually begin to grow cold towards each other. The wife asks her husband to remove his socks, but he does not even hear her. A husband tells something to his wife, but she does not listen to him at all, or starts talking about something of her own. Interests are mutually ignored, and this can lead to the breakup of the family.

Ignoring is one of the oldest types of emotional abuse.

About that story. Everything then returned to normal. I began to study theater, and I have never seen such cases in my life. And you will be great too.

Ignoring it

It can be quite difficult to ignore someone, especially if you constantly run into this person on your way, if he tries to talk to you or does not quite understand what is happening. But if you really need to ignore this person, then try to look very busy with your business, change your usual way of life and cut off all contact with this person. Check out the following tips on how to ignore someone.

Steps

Use body language

1. Don't look this person in the eye. Not making eye contact is the best way to ignore people. Once your eyes meet, it will show that you are aware of the existence of this person, and your efforts to ignore him will be in vain. If this person is in close proximity to you, avoid making eye contact at all costs. Look at everyone except him, look in front of you or just at the floor.

   • If a person is shorter than you, then just look over his head. If it is higher, then do not look up.
   • If he is the same height as you and is standing nearby, try to portray an absent, indifferent look in case you accidentally meet his eyes.

2. Pass by quickly. Another way to ignore a person is to walk as fast as possible. This will show that you are a busy person, you have time to do a lot of things, and that you have no desire to stop and talk to this person. Walk with your head held high and look like you're in a hurry, even if you're not.

   • If you see this person approaching you from afar, step back a little so you don't accidentally bump into him.
   • Do not turn to the side to get around your enemy. If you cross or turn on the other side of the road, it will show that you care. However, if you see him in the distance and are sure that he does not see you, then it is better indeed to turn off your path and out of sight.

3. Depict some kind of "closedness". If you happen to be near this person, fold your arms across your chest, cross your legs if you're sitting, hunch over a bit, and generally do everything to appear completely out of reach. Your body should say for itself: "Don't talk to me, buddy," and most likely your enemy will understand this hint.

   • Don't smile. Let your face be serious, even a little sullen, to show that you do not want to talk to anyone.
   • You can also draw a face with a blank and meaningless expression that will scare away anyone who tries to talk to you.
   • If you have long hair, bangs, or are wearing a hat, try to cover part of your face so you don't have to look the person in the eye.

4. Try to look like you are very busy. You can look either closed off from everything around you, or very, very busy, so much so that you simply cannot take a second of your time for empty chatter with this person.

   • If you are currently with friends, then turn to face them and start something animatedly discussing and gesticulating. This will show that you are too busy to talk or look in anyone's direction.
   • If you are alone, immerse yourself in a book, magazine, or textbook. You can even quietly read aloud, as if you were memorizing something.
   • Always keep a lot of different items in your hands. When you walk or sit, hold your phone, textbooks, or a huge indoor flower in a pot in your hands. Seeing how busy you are, this person will not start a conversation with you.

   Use technology

   1. Use your phone. This will help you ignore any person. There are several ways to use the phone for this purpose. First, you can stare at the phone to look busy as soon as you see your enemy. You can talk to someone on the phone, laugh wildly, or dive headlong into correspondence with someone with whom you would like to communicate at the moment.

      • Change your phone number so this person can't call or text you.
      • Block him in your contacts so you don't receive messages from him.
      • Set your phone to ring when you are near that person so you can pick up the phone and pretend to be talking to someone.

   2. Listen to music. Buy headphones and always wear them when you're alone, even if you're not listening to music. When you see your enemy, turn up the music to the fullest and shake your head to the beat in order to look completely absorbed and busy with your own business and not wanting to spend a single minute of your time talking.

      • If you really want to annoy, you can also close your eyes and sing along to the music so that the person does not have the slightest chance of talking to you.

   3. Ignore online. Ignoring online is much easier than ignoring a person in real life because you don't have to avoid meeting them. In this case, you just need to ignore emails, Facebook posts, Twitter notes, and any other messages on the network.

      • Block this person on your social networks. Make sure he can't contact you online.
      • Change your email address and virtual nicknames if necessary. Your enemy should not have a single way to get in touch with you on the network.

   Change your habits

   1. Take a different route. If you want to ignore someone and not meet them every time you go, the easiest thing to do is just change the route you normally take. If you always meet your enemy on the way in between classes, then take a different, longer path to the next lesson so as not to see this person. If you constantly meet him at work, then go down another hallway and use another restroom to keep contact to a minimum.

      • If you meet him wherever you go, then start driving.
      • If your enemy also changed his route in order to catch your eye again, then keep changing your route until he gets tired of this stupid game.

   2. Avoid places where your enemy likes to be. It's elementary. If you know his favorite bars, restaurants and parks, just don't go there anymore. It's not worth it, however, if you're willing to spend enough time there and continuously ignore the person, you can try.

      • You can also remember the days when he usually goes there. If he visits his favorite restaurant on the weekends, and you really want to go there, then try to visit there during the week.
      • If he only goes to his restaurant during discount hours, then you can visit there a little later in the evening.

   3. Go to places where your enemy will never go. For example, if he prefers meat dishes, then look for restaurants in your area that serve vegetarian dishes. If he hates jazz, then go to a jazz concert in your area. If he is at enmity with one of your friends, then at this friend’s party you are unlikely to meet your enemy and be able to have a good time.

      • Visiting places and institutions where this person does not go will help you not only ignore him, but also open up new and unexplored horizons for you.

   Ignore anyone in any situation

   1. Ignore anyone at school. It might not be easy, especially if you're in the same class, but you can still find a way. Here's how to do it:

      • If you are seated at the same desk as this person, move to another desk. If everyone has their own place in the class, then ask the teacher to transplant you.
      • If you see him at the school canteen, then sit at another table.
      • If you meet him in the hallway of the school, then just look straight ahead, as if you are in such a hurry to the next lesson that you did not notice how you passed this person.
      • If he asks you a question in class, turn your head away as if nothing happened.

   2. Ignore someone at work. This can be quite tricky as you may be sitting next to your enemy or even working on the same project. Anyway, there are several ways to minimize contact.

      • Do not enter the office kitchen or break room while this person is there. Remember when he usually eats in the kitchen or pours himself coffee, and try to have lunch and rest at other times if possible.
      • If you are sitting next to your enemy in the office, then try to focus on working on the computer, and also always have a pile of work papers on hand so that you can immerse yourself in them instead of looking in his direction.
      • This should not affect your professional activities. If you need to discuss something with this person on business matters, discuss it. He will be even more frustrated if you talk to him at work and completely ignore him outside of the workspace.

   3. Ignore someone socially. It's easy enough if you know what to do. You need to rely on your friends and try to stay as far away from this person as possible, even if you are in the same room. Here's what you can do:

      • Surround yourself with friends. Talk to them and laugh like you've never heard anything funnier in your life.
      • Dance. If your enemy approaches you and music is playing, immediately grab your friend and go dancing. If he does approach you on the dance floor, close your eyes as if enjoying the music.
      • If he is in the same circle of friends as you, then immerse yourself in an active conversation with one of your friends. When he starts talking, start scratching your ear or staring at the phone, in a word, act like nothing is happening.
   • Listen to your MP3 player to disengage from the person who is bothering you.
   • If your enemy tries to talk to you, then take out the phone and pretend that you are answering the call.
   • Make sure you have good reasons to ignore the person. (For example, if he wants to ask for forgiveness, then he can be given a chance).
   • If you know that you can meet this person in a certain place (for example, in a store), then check if his car is in the parking lot at the store before entering there.
   • While at work, keep your door closed or pretend to be on the phone.
   • Learn to see people out of the corner of your eye. Then you can pretend not to see them.
   • It is still necessary to talk with your enemy if the reason for your ignoring is completely solvable.
   • If the person you're angry with is sincerely remorseful, then it's probably best for you to forgive him or have a serious talk before cutting off all contact with him. Give him/her a chance - it's most likely just a misunderstanding.
   • If the person you are trying to ignore calls you by name or otherwise gets your attention, then there is an easy way out of this situation. Try to look very busy, say absentmindedly "Hello" and keep walking as if you have urgent business.
   • If you don't like this person, then doing all this is even easier.

   Warnings

   • Ignoring a person who sincerely wants to talk to you brings a lot of pain and suffering to a person. Before you start ignoring someone, make sure he/she really deserves it.