What is self-criticism and does a person need it? Is self-criticism good or bad? Examples.

A demon lives inside every person, and you need to be able to negotiate with him, otherwise the inner voice of self-criticism will slowly destroy you, preventing you from moving forward. What does self-criticism mean, and what is its danger? We will talk about these subtle matters today.

Meaning of the word

Self-criticism is a reflective attitude of a person towards himself. You can even say that this is the ability to independently look for errors in your actions and thoughts, understand them and try to correct them. If a person can boast of such an ability, then this indicates his absolute mental health. But if self-criticism becomes an obsession, then it can be seen as a deviation.

Self-blame, self-humiliation, or other destructive variations that cause feelings of guilt and shame are not synonymous with self-criticism. It is rather an objective point of view on oneself, where both positive and negative aspects of character are evaluated.

Basis

Self-criticism is a kind of view from the outside. Her judgments are based on internal human beliefs, his principles and goals. And if a person correlates himself with his preferences, then this will be called self-criticism. But if a person begins to evaluate himself from the point of view of someone else's value system, then this indicates an inadequate approach. A complete lack of self-criticism can also be called inadequate (although this may be due to a low level of intellectual development). If a person is overly self-critical, then he suffers from low self-esteem.

Self-criticism is where all sides are sharp. It is impossible to unambiguously determine whether it is classified as a negative manifestation or whether it is necessary to work on its development.

personal demon

Man is his own worst enemy. Sometimes it seems that it brings untold pleasure to spend a huge amount of time on his own criticism. Self-criticism is, of course, good, but at the same time it is the most common way to harm yourself.

Each of us has such a demon, which we used to call the inner voice, the malevolent "I", the inner critic, etc. This voice often sounds in the head and consists of thoughts full of criticism. And we tend to take all these negative thoughts at face value. To understand if you are influenced by your inner demon, consider doing something new and unusual. The demon will immediately crawl out, begin to point out weaknesses and repeat that there is nothing good in this undertaking, and your strength to implement it, to put it mildly, is not enough. These and similar words come from the inner monsters of self-criticism all the time:

• You can not do it.
• You will be laughed at.
• Who are you?
• Already forgot how the last time I sat in a puddle?!
• This is silly.
• To do this, you need to have what you do not have, etc.

It is they who prevent us from living a full life, slowly and confidently achieving our cherished goals. In the end, carried away by excessive self-criticism, a person will receive only one message: I'm not good enough. But this will be more than enough to make the whole life go downhill.

Real life example

Some people feel their own imperfection more than others. Usually no one talks about this, and even to himself is not able to admit his own insolvency, but the actions speak for themselves.

Here is a small example. One young and promising boss, let's call him Ricky, hired coaches to help him become a first-class leader. In total, he had about 50 subordinates and, despite the euphoria of his new appointment, he was shocked by the scale of responsibility. Subsequently, it turned out that Ricky has no problems with the distribution of time, he does not suffer from stress, but is only convinced that he is not good enough. No matter what happens, Ricky is constantly dissatisfied with the circumstances and his own behavior. He can't even name a few things that he's really good at, but once the topic of difficulties and problems is touched, Ricky is unstoppable. He is ready to talk for hours that he achieved success only because he constantly worked on his bad sides.

Good or bad?

Based on this, one can ask the question: is self-criticism good or bad? In the case of Ricky, we can say that he was just lucky. Of course, self-improvement and working on yourself is a good idea. But you can’t do it with a sense of your own imperfection. Otherwise, the more a person achieves, the more he will feel dissatisfaction.

Ricky, from an example of self-criticism, after working with a coach, was able to achieve outstanding success in his professional activities. But he succeeded not because he constantly found flaws in himself and tried to improve them, but because he began to pay attention to his strengths. Yes, yes, he had them, however, like every person. It is impossible to find someone in the world who does not have some remarkable abilities.

Fear of inconsistency

In general, each person should be able to critically evaluate their own actions and thoughts, accurately identify their weaknesses and know how to correct them. But at the same time, he should not neglect his strengths. Someone can draw, someone can sing, and someone is a programming genius.

That's just people tend to expect approval from their environment. It is because of the expectation of this approval that we ourselves are trying to squeeze ourselves into a framework that we have never met and will never meet.

Correct self-criticism

To understand how well we evaluate ourselves, we need to do the following. Take a piece of paper and at the very top write: "I should." And then list everything you think needs to be done. For example, “I should communicate more”, “I should sleep less”, etc. Then you need to re-read these points and choose the most basic ones. Most often, these are the first five positions that a person pays the most attention to. These points need to be reviewed again, whether they are important, whether they really allow a person to remain himself. If not, then maybe they appeared due to the obsessive influence of public opinion?!

About self-criticism

As Einstein said, “You can't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees. Otherwise, she will live her whole life believing herself to be a fool.” This also applies to self-criticism. In our society, it is customary to look up to the best, and, unfortunately, no one thinks that these “best” are initially endowed with a completely different set of qualities.

Yes, a person can cultivate anything in himself, but will he be happy that he leaves aside what he really has a talent for.

And finally, a few quotes about self-criticism. With their help, you can look at the other side of this process:

Self-criticism is hidden praise, people berate themselves in order to show an open mind.

We criticize ourselves in order to be praised.

In self-criticism, one should not stoop to rudeness.

A rational approach to assessing one's own actions, determining one's strengths and weaknesses is good. But if the inner demons begin to say: “You are a nonentity!”, then you need to make every effort to bring them under control.

Self-criticism is an integral part of the inner world of a developed personality. This quality has nothing to do with experiencing destructive feelings of guilt and self-blame. It is, rather, an adequate and objective view of oneself from the outside. Self-criticism allows you to see both your strengths and weaknesses.

Not surprisingly, moderate self-criticism has practical utility in a variety of areas. In professional activities, self-criticism makes it possible to find more effective ways to achieve results. If we talk about learning, then here this quality can be useful for a person to put more effort into obtaining the necessary knowledge. Self-criticism helps scientists to separate the initially wrong message from random errors. Speaking about relationships between people, it is worth noting that people who can adequately evaluate themselves respect the opinions of others and are able to learn something new from those who understand a particular issue better. In family life, self-criticism provides a chance to strengthen the relationship between spouses and lay the foundation for finding a compromise. Those who can evaluate their actions objectively are able to build a strong family.

Self-criticism is highly valued by individuals who cannot be content with only inner harmony, wanting to see their real life achievements. People who have enough inner well-being do not need self-criticism. Modern psychotherapy in no way encourages self-criticism. Experts in this field, for the most part, impose on a person the choice of accepting or not accepting oneself. At the same time, psychotherapists actively instill the idea that self-criticism is a manifestation of non-acceptance of oneself. In many cases, the treatment is fairly balanced people who are characterized by moderate self-criticism.

WHAT SELF-CRITICISM SHOULD BE

The basic formula for correct self-criticism is the plus-minus-plus scheme. If you have done something, then it is good. If you can't do it, then admit the mistake and do it well next time.

In order to evaluate ourselves correctly, we should have a scale that will be formed based on our beliefs and values. Correct life attitudes are needed in order to judge ourselves correctly. A reasonable person determines his value system, decides what qualities and character traits he needs, and then engages in self-development in the right direction. At the same time, such a person provides himself with both reasonable criticism and sufficient support. Try to criticize yourself in a way that motivates you to move on to success.

You can engage in self-criticism out loud. Having reasonable people nearby will always lead to the fact that your criticism will find understanding. At the same time, a completely constructive conversation will arise between you, taking place in a benevolent manner.

If you let the person down, you may criticize yourself, which will be a kind of request for forgiveness. A reasonable person, realizing that you admit your mistakes, is unlikely to engage in additional accusation. At the same time, be careful, because a hostile person will be able to use your self-criticism against you. Try to formulate the criticism so that it relates to this particular situation, without affecting undesirable points.

HARM OF EXCESSIVE SELF-CRITICISM

It must be remembered that self-criticism is a useful quality that helps a person to improve. At the same time, self-criticism should not reach self-criticism, which clearly has negative consequences.

Among the disadvantages of increased self-criticism, it is worth noting the following disadvantages:

• It reduces self-esteem and destroys the personality;
• Self-discipline breeds insecurity and inaction;
• Excessive self-criticism is a quality that others do not like because it immerses you in yourself;
• Self-blame gives rise to a pathological sense of guilt, which makes it easy to manipulate a person who has this quality;
• Excessive self-criticism takes time and takes away positive emotions;
• Self-blame makes it difficult to find the best way out of the situation and make the right decisions.

HOW TO GET RID OF EXCESSIVE SELF-CRITICISM

It should be understood that negative thoughts are a reflection of habits, not your personality. In order to start changing old habits, you need to learn how to fix their manifestation. Write down self-critical thoughts that come to you. Markings like this make it possible to control thoughts when you feel bad, and also to see how they affect your future state.

At first glance, recognizing self-critical thoughts is quite simple. However, it is not. This is especially evident in those who have come to terms with their low self-esteem, since such people can no longer perceive themselves differently. To begin with, it makes sense to learn to recognize self-critical thoughts and analyze how they affect your life. In most cases, a change in emotional state is the most reliable indicator that you are overly self-critical.

Start loving yourself, praising your achievements, even if they are insignificant. Praise yourself even for failures and mistakes, because you decided to do something. Try to fix in your head any step in the right direction, while giving yourself a loved one a sufficient dose of praise.

In the case when a person has qualities that he does not like in himself, you should eliminate them if possible, and then continue on your way. What can't be fixed should be let go. It won't always be easy, but it is necessary.

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Hello, friends! In this article I want to discuss such a thing as self-criticism, its importance in a person's life, as well as its impact on the future. We will look at what positive aspects it brings to human life, as well as how it can destroy many aspects of the psyche, relationships and development opportunities.

What is self-criticism?

Self-criticism is a personal quality that allows you to evaluate your own actions and motives from an objective and unbiased side. This is the trait due to which a person himself can find shortcomings in his own work and character traits, in behavior and relationships with people.

Self-criticism necessarily includes self-esteem, without arrogance and narcissism. Being in these two positions at the same time, a person is able not to get angry at the whole outside world and make timely attempts to change. Other comments are accepted with gratitude. A person is able to listen to the advice of others, even if they are given from an edifying position.

For comparison: someone who is inaccessible to criticism of their actions and personality will perceive comments with anger, trying to attack in response or defend themselves. In many ways, the ability for a critical attitude is explained by the level of self-acceptance and the ability to put up with the imperfection of the world. It is not an innate and stable characteristic, but rather a consequence of education.

If desired, each person is able to adjust the level of criticality of the inner gaze. This can happen after significant events, changes, or as a result of directed work with a psychotherapist.

How to relate to this concept and what to do with your own level of criticism - everyone decides for himself. To make the right decision, I recommend that you carefully study the positive and negative aspects of the influence of self-criticism on a person’s life.

Positive aspects of self-criticism

For a mature person, critical remarks are the norm. They bring only positive changes, even if the initial feelings are unpleasant. It's absolutely normal to be upset by the realization that somewhere the level of knowledge does not match or the work was done poorly. But it is the understanding and analysis of one's actions that make it possible to improve oneself.

Criticism of oneself should work for personal development and elimination of shortcomings, help develop the ability to see one's weaknesses in time and form a different position.

Ideally, criticism directed at oneself helps to realistically assess the situation. Those. quality, which is initially positioned as an assessment of one's condition, eventually leads to the ability to evaluate others.

A person who is able to adequately understand his condition can objectively evaluate others, which helps to build high-quality connections. And the one who considers himself the most intelligent and beautiful (in the absence of self-criticism) or unworthy and ugly (with its excessive development), as a result, cannot adequately assess the situation in the real world.

Thus, a healthy critical and even slightly ironic attitude towards oneself ensures good socialization. It helps to see the paths of necessary development.

Healthy self-criticism should lead to:

• an increase in the level of personal responsibility (for the future and decision-making in current situations);
• taking on certain restrictions and austerities related to the elimination of harmful habits and actions (refers to situations when a person performs unnecessary actions);
• implementation of a new activity, the purpose of which is further development (concerns situations when the necessary actions are not performed).

In all cases, actions are required that change the person himself and his reality, attitude to the world. If a person only talks about his own unworthiness and depravity, without making any attempts to turn the situation in his favor, then such a state is called self-blame or self-flagellation.

The purpose of such empty talk can be reduced to a call for sympathy from others. Such a desire to get help or plunge into sad experiences.

If changes do not occur, self-criticism ceases to be a useful quality for the individual and begins to manifest itself from the negative side.

How can self-criticism interfere with life and fulfillment?

It is good if a person can not only see his own shortcomings, but also direct them in a positive direction of change. But remember yourself when your reproaches did not turn into changes.

Examples of destructive self-criticism:

• Constantly scold yourself for the lack of willpower and excess weight, continuing to eat cakes in kilograms.
• To break in the proof of their professional insolvency, while refusing to take refresher courses.
• Reproach yourself for the lack of interest in yourself among others, while being rude and doing bad things towards people.

Such examples show how excessive self-criticism without a vector of effective activity can be introduced into our lives. At the same time, the consequences of such behavior can be quite serious for the individual and the psyche as a whole.

Among the common violations due to an increased level of criticality, there may be:

• decrease in self-esteem;
• development ;
• increased internal anxiety;
• problems in building social ties;
• lack of professional and creative realization;
• general degradation of the personality (in the most severe and prolonged cases).

Being exclusively a habit of building the course of one's own thoughts, self-criticism can move a person away from the realization of his goals. Anyone who constantly scolds himself and considers himself a loser is unlikely to try his hand at a new project. Those who think they are ugly rarely approach to get acquainted, thereby taking away a lot of opportunities from their lives.

In addition, it is worth remembering that people treat us the way we allow it. This means that the more a person tells about his shortcomings, the more they will be seen in him. For comparison, look at those who constantly talk about their luck, professionalism and other virtues - objectively they can be the same as those of the one who criticizes himself, but in the eyes of others, one will be a loser and the other a winner. A strong tendency to exaggerate shortcomings eventually makes them real.

Conclusion

As you can see from the above, the lack of self-criticism, as well as its excessive manifestation, can lead to disastrous results. The benefit and degree is determined by each person independently in relation to the situation and inner self-perception. The main thing is to focus on the possibility of transforming the ability to notice shortcomings into the ability to correct them.

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The material was prepared by Yulia Gintsevich.

We use certain habits every day, so getting rid of some of them is extremely difficult. First of all, you need to realize that there is a problem. In the case of self-criticism, the problem really exists. The fact is that if you do not know how to accept yourself, praise and encourage, then you should not expect this from other people, you give them a reason, treat you the way you yourself do it. The habit of constantly criticizing oneself should be attributed to the negative qualities of any person. Psychologist Oksana Klimenko Learn how to get rid of self-criticism.

What is self-criticism and what can it lead to?

Self-criticism seems to be a completely understandable word, and a very socially acceptable behavior. Self-critical people, as a rule, cause respect and even encouragement in society. Why, as a rule, self-criticism brings suffering to the person himself? Let's analyze this concept into its components - criticism directed at oneself. Criticism (derived from the Greek concept - "the art of parsing, judgment") - the identification of contradictions, the identification of errors and their analysis, a negative judgment about something with an indication of shortcomings. It is this part of the word that causes respect in society, because, as Eric Berne (ed. - American psychologist and psychiatrist) would say, it sends us to the parental position. That is, we are faced with the understanding learned in childhood that all actions and deeds must be passed through the filter: “How will parents evaluate them?” A self-critical person has learned this understanding very well and carries it with him through life. Only instead of parents now come the demands of the environment, the society in which he is currently located. And it would seem that this makes it possible to feel great in society, just learn all the requirements, delve into the mistakes, correct them, do not step on the same rake and everything will be fine! But not everything is so simple. If the child's parents were loving and accepting enough, the person's self-criticism will not be absorbing and annihilating. And if not? What leads to the fact that self-criticism becomes destructive for a person? Already at the age of 2 years, children have an idea of ​​themselves, it is formed even at the pre-verbal level, creating in the child an image of himself, his basic elements of the self-concept. During preschool age, children form some kind of generalized attitudes towards themselves, consider themselves "good", "bad", "kopush" or "unskillful". In addition, during these years, a number of ideals are formed in children. They learn to evaluate themselves in relation to what they think they should be. Self-esteem of children is a direct reflection of the attitude of others around them. But it is not at all correct to assume that a child with high self-esteem will be less self-critical. High self-esteem and low self-esteem are two sides of the same coin. Both are built on building an idealized self-image. And where there is idealization, there is depreciation. Knowing how others see us is an essential step in developing self-knowledge. The modern world is permeated with individualization, the Personality is at the center of attention of progress. Self-knowledge, as a component of this process, acquires today, the most important place in the self-realization of a person. And the pace of development of modern society implies equally rapid changes in the requirements for a person. As a result, people with low self-esteem, who assume that they have nothing to fail in this life, hopelessly lag behind like schoolchildren who have launched the program a long time ago. They attribute to themselves complete hopelessness and devalue any opportunity to get out of this “pit”. Individuals with high self-esteem, idealizing their capabilities, are always in tension, in a desire to comply, and the more painful their disappointment is in case of failures or mistakes. Such people always strive for perfection, but even self-improving, they still remain dissatisfied with themselves.

How to avoid excessive self-criticism?

There is a way out - Cultivate a realistic understanding of your capabilities.

An unrealistic perception of oneself is brought up by parents who set too many “conditions for love”, evaluate the child, cannot accept him for who he is, compare him with others, severely punish him for failures. As we age, we continue to do this instead of the parents (internalizing parental behavior).

What can unhealthy self-criticism lead to?

There are two poles where excessive criticality leads

A constant stay in fear of repeating past mistakes and, accordingly, generally unwillingness to go in this direction. Shame avoidance, inactivity, apathy.

Hanging in the process of "ranking" long and painful deliberations before taking any step:

What is "better" to choose? Uncertainty, painful perfectionism.

How to get rid of the habit of constantly criticizing yourself?

If you notice that you are suffering from this, and for some reason you cannot count on the help of a psychologist, use auto-training:

Write a list of your strengths and weaknesses, ask people who love you to write the same list, analyze the result, you may find that your list of weaknesses is greatly exaggerated.

- "Write" in your mind: I accept myself as I am. I develop my abilities, work on the shortcomings to the best of my ability. I don't have to be perfect in everything and for everyone. I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses and accept them.

To get rid of the habit of constantly criticizing yourself, try not to fall into the trap of other people's assessments. You can't form an opinion about yourself based on how others judge you. It is difficult to be good for everyone, and there is no point in striving for this. Remind yourself of this as often as possible. When evaluating yourself, try to analyze whose assessment is most important to you at the moment, from whose position you criticize yourself, and whether this person is so perfect.

Consider the opinions of others, and do not appropriate it for yourself. This will help you get rid of the habit of constantly criticizing yourself. Listening to someone else's opinion about yourself can be useful, but this does not mean that any criticism is a reason for action or self-humiliation. Often the assessment of others is based on their idea of ​​an idealized self. In the pursuit of conformity to other people's ideas about the ideal, you lose your individuality and uniqueness.

Think that development is good. But if for some reason you cannot or do not want to develop further, then there is nothing in it that makes you unworthy of respect in your eyes. Don't fall into this trap. It very often captures precisely those who are very demanding of themselves. Do what is in your power to improve, but not to the limit.

If you want to get rid of self-criticism, enjoy the process, and do not make yourself dependent on the result. Too much hope for a satisfactory result often leads to devastation in case of failure.

Pay attention to what is good in you and appreciate it. Instead of looking for what's not perfect in you. Learn to appreciate what you have now. Often people do not notice the positive that is in their lives - it is taken for granted.

self-criticism can be beneficial, but at the same time there is a downside to the coin. Self-criticism can inflict serious damage! Read more further.

Self-criticism is a quality of a person that helps to objectively evaluate one's own actions, thoughts and plans. See your mistakes and possible weaknesses of certain actions. In a sense, self-criticism is an indicator of a mature person who is ready to take responsibility on himself and not shift it to someone else.

In reasonable amounts, self-criticism can help us improve. For example, if we suddenly begin to shift our responsibility for a failed project to external circumstances, this is unlikely to help anyone influence the situation. But at the same time, people who are ready to admit to themselves that it was they who caused these mistakes and failures are able to grow above themselves and prevent similar failures in the future.

So moderate self-criticism can be called a sober view of the world and it will be a good quality for any manager.

The more self-criticism and self-flagellation - the more you languish

• Willpower author Kelly Maggonigal writes that guilt, excessive self-blame, and constant overthinking of oneself will do nothing but undermine willpower and create the “what the hell” effect. This is when a person, having made a mistake, decides to break into all serious.
• In the book Mindfulness, the author also points out that neither guilt nor constant digging into the past can be a solid basis for peace of mind. They offer meditation techniques to learn to be present in the present moment.
• Charisma author Olivia Fox Cobain talks about how people around us read our mood from our non-verbal cues. And if you criticize yourself too much in your thoughts, suffer from feelings of guilt, then this will manifest itself in your movements. Simply put, yours will be questioned by others.

Thus, excessive self-criticism is a fiasco, bro.

We must admit that when you start doing something new, the people around you can sometimes undermine our faith in ourselves. Often we do not need to be self-critical. We will be more than criticized by our environment. This is especially noticeable when you run your Youtube channel.

What does a lack of self-criticism lead to?

But what can happen to a person who, on the contrary, is too self-confident and does not want to listen to either himself or the critics around him. Overconfidence can lead you to lose touch with reality. And a new business project may fail. And at the same time, the person did not calculate such a scenario. He was overconfident and stopped thinking with his brain.

So, we found out that excessive self-criticism leads to a decrease in self-esteem, the appearance of self-flagellation and self-blame. This can lead to self-doubt, inaction and lack of initiative. If constant self-criticism turns into a habit, it can lead to depression, and even to. A person who is constantly engaged in self-criticism gets used to thinking too strictly in relation to himself. And such thinking occurs already unconsciously like a bad habit. In this state, it is easier for a person.