Is Narcissism a Mental Illness or a Trait? What is narcissism.

Narcissism can be attributed to the most common pathological conditions that are observed in many modern people today. It is a distant synonym for the concept of “self-love”, and a person’s tendency to narcissism is already considered a deviation from the norm. So what exactly is "narcissismus" and "narcissistic personality disorder"?

Who is he - "flower man"

Speaking about what narcissism is, one should return to the origins of the word itself, to its origin. And for this it is necessary to turn to the history of ancient Greece. According to legend, a long time ago a young man named Narcissus (in Greek - Narkissos) lived in this country. He was unusually handsome and charming, but "cold" to others. And that really set him apart from the rest.

Constantly reveling in his splendor, he amused himself with communication with young nymphs, admiring his beauty, but at the same time he did not listen to anyone. One day, standing on the bank of a stream, he saw the reflection of his face in the water and was so blinded by his own beauty that he could no longer leave that place, and withered in suffering from self-love. Subsequently, flowers began to grow there, which were named after this character of ancient Greek mythology - daffodils.

The name of the hero has since become a household name, and everyone who is prone to inflated self-esteem and excessive love for their own person is now called narcissists. In this case, this term fully reflects a person's tendency to narcissism, the desire to be in the spotlight, and also to demonstrate their exclusivity.

If we talk about the meaning of this term, then "narcissism" means narcissism. To some extent, it is also synonymous with a keen attention to one's own personality. At the same time, it is worth noting that narcissism is an individual quality of a person, a trait of his character, which can develop under the influence of the surrounding people and the environment.

A lot of attention is paid to this topic in psychology. And this is due to the increased interest of specialists in the psychological well-being of selfish people in view of them. Selfish, seeking to bathe in glory and ignoring the opinions of other people, narcissists sometimes hide a completely different person under their appearance and their self-confident behavior. Sometimes a narcissistic person does not even have a sense of self-confidence and compensates for this by oppressing others.

How, then, to understand whether narcissism is pathological, what a person hides under his brilliant outer shell and whether he needs treatment? Let's consider together when we can talk about the pathological signs of narcissism and what are its symptoms.

How to recognize such a person

The human psyche in a healthy and normal state allows for a feeling of love for oneself. But if this feeling “goes off scale” and a person lives in a state of constant narcissism, then this already indicates a pathological phenomenon called narcissism.

And the narcissist in this case is a person who is only interested in his own person, ignores the needs of others, tries not to communicate with people without personal gain, and often asserts himself at the expense of others. But the most important thing is that such a person has a distinctive feature - a hypertrophied, exaggerated sense of his own importance.

If we are talking about who a narcissist is, we should not miss another, no less important detail: the ultimate goal of any activity of such a person is self-satisfaction. That is, what such a person will do, in the end, will have to amuse his pride, bring him pleasure. So it is quite possible to draw a parallel between the concepts of "egoism" and "narcissism".

Narcissism and are also considered similar phenomena. Within the theory of the "dark triad" (narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism), narcissism is used as a criterion for determining the correctness of the application of psychopathy scales in the course of the study of psychological reality.

If you meet a person who is characterized by pathological narcissism, you will immediately know about it. First of all, manifestations of selfish behavior will tell about this. Also, to find out that a person is inherent in narcissism, signs will help:

• A person has a pronounced exaggerated sense of his significance (importance).
• He does not pay attention to criticism from others.
• For such a person who considers himself perfect, other people will be a laughing stock if they do not meet his criteria of importance.
• He tends to demand and expect increased attention to himself, praise.
• The narcissist sincerely believes that everyone envy him, and he himself is the perfect person. That is why non-recognition of him as such by others will surprise him.
• The narcissist uses any of his imaginary "achievements" as an excuse for boasting.
• In the manner of his communication, one can notice pronounced sarcasm.
• All the motives and interests of the narcissist are purely mercantile.
• Such people skillfully mask all their shortcomings, and consider narcissistic traits to be their dignity.
• The lack of a sense of pity and compassion is another characteristic sign that a person has a psychological defect that can be dangerous not only for the people around the narcissist, but also for a person who has a narcissistic personality type.

It is worth noting that all these signs of narcissism are common and only to some extent characteristic of people prone to excessive and selfish narcissism. They are also the most common and identified in the course of a study by specialists of people with a narcissistic warehouse.

How pathology manifests itself, taking into account the gender component

Many believe that self-admiration is the prerogative of women. But if a lady often looks in the mirror, this does not mean that she has narcissism. In women, the tendency to the considered pathology usually manifests itself somewhat differently.

For example, in creating relationships, when a girl prefers a guy who will praise her and indulge her in everything. And she doesn’t need another man, especially self-confident and ambitious, because he will demand equality in a couple.

Female narcissism often comes out when a couple has a baby. At the same time, it is the baby who will suffer the most from the mother’s mental disorder, because she may well force the child to achieve great goals (which, alas, she could not achieve).

As for narcissism in men, such disorders manifest themselves during adolescence. A narcissist man, in order to please the opposite sex, may spend too much time in front of the mirror and pay a lot of attention to his appearance. If we talk about the manifestations of narcissism in male family men, then fathers with such a diagnosis are not able to devote themselves to raising children and spend very little time with them.

If the narcissist starts a family, then his disorder can only worsen, because he will deprive his loved ones and relatives of the attention, considering his own person to be the center of the universe. In the case of a lone narcissist, the situation is somewhat different, because over the years his new achievements lose the taste of victory. And sooner or later, such a person begins to understand what could really console him, bring satisfaction.

However, in many areas of life, 40-year-old bachelors are not in demand, and therefore, more and more often, it is at this age that men become clients of psychologists in order to understand their true desires and find the root of all problems.

Forms of the disorder

Modern psychoanalysis still considers the narcissistic type of character as an extremely mysterious phenomenon. Scientists around the world are working on its study, and it is already known about its most pronounced varieties:

1. Constructive narcissism is a state in which self-esteem and narcissism have an adequately high degree of expression. That is, it means that a person with this form of love for his own person can quite normally interact with society, show self-confidence if necessary, resist the pressure exerted on him.

2. Destructive narcissism, unlike the previous type of disorder, is a much more serious violation in which a person is not able to realistically assess his own significance, his achievements and himself as a whole. In such individuals, there is a pathological need for constant confirmation of their importance.

3. Deficient - a form of narcissism, which is expressed in the inability of a person to form a holistic view of himself. Guided, passive, malleable and dependent on the opinions of other people - this is the characteristic of a person with this form of mental disorder.

4. Perverse narcissism - a deviation, referred to in psychology as malignant, which is due to the presence of serious "side effects" of the disorder. So, to determine that a person is suffering from a narcissistic malignant pathology, the following signs will help: inadequate obsessions, aggressive reactions, concomitant somatic disorders.

So what is it: a disease or an individual trait?

From the point of view of psychology, the syndrome of narcissism is one of the qualities of character that is integral to every person in childhood. The causes of narcissism are different, but basically the development of the disorder is facilitated by:

• Constant and unfounded praise of the child.
• Rapidly growing self-esteem against the background of exaggeration by parents of the importance of the child's achievements.
• Disharmonious development and upbringing of the baby.

Narcissism may well progress and eventually turn into a disease that will make life unbearable for both the person himself and everyone around him.

In this case, with the help of the intervention of a psychologist, it will be necessary to eliminate the person's narcissism, since the treatment of the disorder is a course of therapy for deep self-analysis of the personality, which would allow the person to determine his real desires and needs.

The definition of narcissism in psychology was first given by one of the most famous scientists in England - Henry Havelock Ellis. In his works, he described narcissism as one of the varieties of a defective behavioral model. His theory reflected the ancient Greek myth of a narcissistic young man named Narcissus.

This phenomenon did not go unnoticed, and a few years later the syndrome of narcissism was isolated. Considering the phenomenon of narcissism and correlating it with the theory of psychoanalysis, Freud noticed that such a deviation can manifest itself in the behavior of absolutely any person. This can be especially noticeable in the framework of the sexual behavior of the individual.

But if earlier psychoanalysts and psychologists did not find anything dangerous in such deviations, then it is now believed that narcissism is a very serious mental illness. Moreover, such a pathology makes a person who has a narcissistic character more prone to other mental disorders, and among them there are quite dangerous conditions (for example, depression).

In this regard, the answer to the question of how to get rid of narcissism is very important. First of all, the narcissist will have to admit that the cause of his problems in communication and interaction with society is a disorder of his own psyche.

Next, he will need self-analysis. Only a professional psychologist who can identify the causes, symptoms and determine the type of narcissism can help with this. The effectiveness of therapy directly depends on this. Considering that narcissistic people consider themselves absolutely healthy and adequate, it will be difficult for them to come to terms with the truth, so treatment can take a long time. Author: Elena Suvorova

Every person has a need for love, care, acceptance and respect, and these are normal healthy things. But as it turned out, not everyone is able to give it to others. Such people are found among us - men and women, old and young. The narcissist is often compared to a black hole that devours everything. It literally sucks you out leading to desolation. There is no end in sight to this, and the return will always be zero.

This concept is a personality disorder provoked by impaired self-esteem and manifests itself in pathological love for one's own person. People with the syndrome of narcissism are completely fixated only on themselves and their significance, the lives of others are simply not interesting to them and do not represent any value. They are constantly in a state of evaluating and comparing themselves with others. It is vital for them that it is their name that leads any ratings of success and achievements.

Similar position in modern society is almost the norm and even encouraged, while in psychiatry they make a diagnosis. It is interesting that today psychologists are increasingly inclined to consider narcissism not as a disease, but define it as a character trait of an individual.

Sigmund Freud, a well-known psychoanalyst, at one time showed interest in the phenomenon of narcissism and diagnosed it in children. He explained that at a certain childhood this is even the norm, since the child has an overestimated self-esteem and is not yet capable of self-critical thinking. But as you get older, in the absence of a healthy environment in the family, all this results in a distorted understanding and awareness of oneself as a person.

Freud later coined the term "narcissism" "narcissism syndrome" in his school of psychoanalysis. He was inspired by the ancient Greek myth of a handsome young man named Narcissus. The young man was so passionate about his own person that he rejected the love of a beautiful nymph for which he paid. The gods punished him with lifelong admiration of his reflection in the river.

The formation of the syndrome, its causes

The narcissistic syndrome is not fully understood. It is obvious that a person does not fall ill in one day, there is some kind of process when outside interference occurs. And in each individual case of narcissism, the causes of occurrence may be different, but for the most part they come down to childhood and adolescence. Psychologists identify three types of root causes.

Children's causes of narcissism

They are concluded in the wrong upbringing of the child. on the way to character development :

Psychological reasons

• traumatic experience;
• the presence of an idol, unhealthy fanaticism and imitation of him;
• genetic or hereditary factors;
• the disease is provoked by another mental illness (for example, schizophrenia).

Anatomical causes

Causes associated with brain disorders:

• reduced amount of gray matter in the part of the brain that is responsible for compassion;
• thickening of the outer cortex;
• modified nerve cells;
• weak activity at the place of formation.

Signs of narcissism, its manifestation

The narcissist always gives himself high marks, labeling himself as the best of the best. In his opinion, he is the most desirable and significant person in any company, he is the “highlight of the program” wherever he is, and he literally endows society with his presence. Such a person sincerely believes that the world revolves around him.

After interacting with narcissists, it is not uncommon to feel uncomfortable, discouraged, or even empty. People instinctively avoid communicating with such subjects, while they tend to the "gray mass" in order to continue to engage in narcissism against their background.

It is very easy to identify a person with a narcissistic type of character, but you should not rush into a diagnosis, at least five signs must be shown.

Symptoms of Narcissism

• — pathological pride, complacency;
• - belief in one's own uniqueness;
• - lack of compassion;
• - Demonstration of arrogant and arrogant behavior;
• - tendency to depression;
• - negative attitude towards the elderly, children, the weak, the disabled, animals;
• - constant comparison of yourself and others in your favor;
• - envy;
• - the words "thank you" and "sorry" are missing in the lexicon;
• — inability to accept criticism and corrections from others;
• - a distorted sense of self-importance;
• — constant stay in the fantasies of their success, triumph;
• - demand admiration from others;
• - excessive self-confidence;
• — use of people for their desires;
• - preoccupation with prestige;
• - exaggeration of their merits, achievements;
• - anger as a reaction to conflicting points of view.

It is important to remember that narcissists are not able to adequately assess their behavior, they believe that they behave within the bounds of decency.

Gender Differences in Narcissism

The nature of narcissists is very difficult. And if communication with them is a dubious pleasure, then close, friendly or partnership relations require special courage.

It became known that among men, narcissists are more common than among women and their behavior is more destructive. In the process of observing and studying the narcissistic nature, depending on gender, it was found that in men one-sided communication, authoritarianism, ambitiousness, dominance, exploitation of other people, and aggression more often prevail. In family life, they are known for their tyranny, which leads to the complete collapse of any relationship.

Women's narcissism regarding this is more benign. It is characterized by: preoccupation with appearance, self-affirmation through seduction, criticism of others for external shortcomings, striving for the best and most expensive things, being in fantasies about oneself. If a woman decides to start a family, then she chooses a couple, as a rule, who can satisfy all her desires and needs . Narcissists have big problems with children, they are not able to give love and tenderness to their child, they cannot build constructive communication, but at the same time they remain extremely demanding.

Narcissism in psychology

Otto Kernberg, a well-known psychoanalyst, identifies three types of narcissism: infantile, mature, and pathological.

Pathological narcissism in psychology and psychiatry is considered as a serious personality disorder. . It's that disorder, which is actively expressed in the constant need for attention and unstable self-esteem. For narcissistic patients, polarity is typical - either the majestic or the insignificant state of one's "I". Their mood often resembles a roller coaster, up and down.

They are barely capable of interpersonal close relationships, a partner is needed only as a mirror for their own reflection. They are incapable of love. Their attitude towards others is characterized by showing their own superiority and importance, at the same time, they express open contempt for everyone else. People with a complex form of the disease often suffer from depression, alcoholism, anorexia, shopaholism, or exhaust themselves with physical exercises, intellectual tasks.

Professor of Communication and Psychology Brad Bushman in his 2014 study, he showed that the problem of narcissism is destructive not only for an individual, but also for society as a whole. The results found that a self-obsessed person ceases to be of benefit to others.

According to experts, the number of people showing signs of clinical narcissism is steadily increasing. They find the reason for this in the modern egocentric culture with its detrimental effect on the "I" of a person, on his character, values, views, attitudes.

Treatment for Narcissism

narcissistic syndrome can be expressed in an easy way. In this case, personal self-control and consultations of a good psychologist will be sufficient. But there are advanced, serious forms of the disease. And here you can not do without the help of specialists.

Obviously, not all narcissists are able to accept the truth about themselves that they have a personality disorder. Often they reject any help until their life reaches the brink. A careful approach is needed here, taking into account all the features of a person’s character. Using the example of other people, they can explain the concept of narcissism and its consequences.

And there is a category of people, it is in the minority, which itself turns to psychotherapeutic methods in search of their "I" through sensations. They practice extreme sports, meditation, various spiritual practices, yoga classes.

How to get rid of narcissism?

The important thing is that narcissism is treatable. And despite the fact that there is no one hundred percent cure, the help and advice of a specialist can significantly improve the quality of life. All Treatments for Narcissistic Illness is based on the formation of an adequate self-esteem of the individual, screening out tinsel and illusions.

Individual meetings with a doctor are undeniably important, but group therapy has shown good results. It uses special trainings where you need to help other participants. Constant classes lead to the fact that at some point a person realizes that there are people nearby who need support and help. Empathy, a sense of compassion, sympathy begins to develop.

Treatment is not fleeting, it is long-term, so it will take considerable perseverance from both the doctor and the patient himself. And only in this way positive changes in the personality of a person will be guaranteed.

Narcissism is one of the manifestations of a personality disorder - a psychological condition characterized by high self-esteem. Medical terminology aside, narcissism can be described as pathological self-love, which is expressed in the form of constant narcissism. People with this problem face the difficulty of social adaptation in society, because they do not know how to build communicative ties with others. Even the closest environment of the "narcissus" is quite difficult to get along with him on the same territory. In this article, we propose to consider the various aspects associated with this personality disorder.

Daffodils are not only cute flowers, but also a certain type of personality

In the minds of many people, at the word “narcissus”, an image of a snow-white flower with a yellowish center pops up. However, the word is also used as a medical term for a personality disorder. Narcissism is pathological narcissism, accompanied by inflated self-esteem.

There is an ancient Greek legend about a young man named Narcissus, after whom the disorder in question was named. According to this legend, the nymph Echo was in love with Narcissus, but the guy refused her feelings because of his pride. As punishment, the goddess Nemesis doomed the young man to eternal love for his own reflection. According to legend, when a young man saw his own reflection in a pond, he turned to stone and spent the rest of his life by the shore. It was there that he died of hunger and suffering. A flower appeared at the site of his remains, which was named after his name. Quite interesting is the fact that the receptacle of this flower leans towards the ground, which is a symbol of the human head, leaning towards the water surface.

It is the aforementioned legend that best demonstrates the characteristics of narcissism. However, with the development of modern medicine, the concept in question has lost its clear boundaries. Today, the term "narcissism" is used to describe not only narcissism, but also ambitiousness, in which a person is firmly convinced of his superiority over others. Faced with various life difficulties, narcissists cannot find an explanation for them, which gives rise to internal conflicts. The presence of such conflicts can lead to more serious mental disorders. This explains the need to combat pathological narcissism.

How Narcissism Manifests

Having considered what narcissism is, the definition of which was given above, one should proceed to the signs of a manifestation of a personality disorder. Thanks to many years of research on this issue, leading world experts in the field of psychology, medicine has been able to determine the presence of the personality disorder in question, based on the following signs:

1. Overestimated attention to the importance of one's own person;
2. Contempt for those people who do not meet the criteria for perfection, according to the narcissist.
3. Desire is constantly in the center of attention, becoming an object of admiration.
4. Strong belief in the uniqueness of one's own personality.
5. Passionate thirst for material wealth and power.
6. Complete or partial lack of empathy.
7. Haughty demeanor, shocking, commercialism.
8. Concealment of one's own negative qualities, increased criticality to the shortcomings of others.
9. Aggression and violence in response to constructive criticism.
10. The presence of a firm belief that all the surrounding people envy the success achieved.
11. Bragging about imaginary "achievements".

It is important to mention that there is no pretense in the behavior of narcissists. All ongoing actions aimed at admiring their own person bring them real pleasure. Narcissistic behavior is a focus on self-gratification, which is the exact opposite of playing in front of an audience. That is why it is almost useless to be offended by such a model of behavior. Judgment and constructive criticism can only cause a feeling of bewilderment, since people with personality disorders perceive their behavior as the norm.

female narcissism

According to statistics, narcissism in women has a vivid form of severity. This can be explained by "feminine nature." In order to attract the attention of men, women are forced to pay increased attention to their own appearance. However, "dancing in front of a mirror", frequent changes of outfits and constant correction of hairstyles are not signs of a psychological disorder.

At a young age, signs of narcissism in women are quite rare. Most girls between the ages of sixteen and thirty do not need constant attention to their own appearance. Moreover, haughty behavior and elevating one's own status above others can help attract the attention of the opposite sex.

Narcissistic women prefer gentle and caring partners as life companions.

The presence of the pathology in question implies a constant need for admiration from others. The character of a man is of last interest to women of this type, so most men next to a narcissist woman have a certain dependence on the opinion of the majority. Since narcissists retain the dominant role in relationships, they prefer to avoid alliances with determined and ambitious personalities.

The first clear signs of narcissism in women appear after childbirth. Since the child is a direct reflection of the mother, she pays increased attention to creating an ideal image. The life of such children is quite difficult, because their mothers constantly expect extraordinary abilities from them. Many mothers try to instill their own ideals and worldviews in their children. A child in such a family grows up in constant stress due to the fact that every action taken must be approved by the mother.

Male narcissism

Signs of narcissism in men are most pronounced in adolescence. Vital activity and a constant increase in the circle of communication makes a teenager look for different ways to take a leading position among his surroundings. However, narcissists tend to have no close friends. At a young age, narcissistic boys pay increased attention to their own appearance. In the conditions of modern society, such behavior can be regarded as a manifestation of non-traditional orientation.

Quite often, men suffering from the psychological disorder in question experience difficulties in building relationships with the opposite sex. Despite the fact that such relationships can be interesting and unusual for women, very soon they realize that a man is paying less and less attention to their union.

When men with this personality disorder create a cell of society, they direct all their attention to further self-affirmation. A woman who is next to such a man can calmly perceive his shortcomings. Psychology characterizes narcissism in men as a pathological passion for their own ambitions. Children in such families experience an acute lack of parental attention and love, since a woman gives all her love only to a man. The main problem of male narcissism is that the achievement of the intended goals does not cause a feeling of satisfaction.

Having reached middle age, a man comes to the conclusion that narcissism does not bring former pleasure, but it is too late to turn his attention to other areas (career achievements, family values).

The relationship of two narcissists

According to psychologists, couples consisting of two people with pathological narcissism are quite common. Family relationships of such couples are built on the foundation of love for one's own personality.. In such couples, each of the partners pays increased attention to himself, and the second does not show a negative attitude towards such behavior. Partners in such pairs constantly support each other, which contributes to mutual understanding and the absence of conflicts.

Unlike parents, children in such pairs have a rather difficult time. Most parents who suffer from narcissism try to embody in their children what they could not achieve on their own. According to psychologists, in most cases, a child with a tendency to this psychological disorder is brought up in a family of two narcissists.

Sexology

Narcissism is a mental illness that can cause sexual deviation, aimed at feeling sexual attraction to oneself. The terms "autoeroticism" and "autophilia" are used to describe this pathological condition. According to experts, it is the narcissistic behavior that is the cause of this pathology. At the initial stages of the development of the disease, a person gets real pleasure, admiring his own reflection.

Thoughts about one's own ideality cause euphoria and delight. At a certain stage of sexual deviation, narcissism manifests itself in the form of physical self-satisfaction, where during the process itself the narcissist enjoys the feeling of his own beauty.

Freud's opinion

The founder of many psychotherapeutic practices, Sigmund Freud said that the syndrome in question is often observed in children who grew up in single-parent families. In his opinion, the pathological love of a single mother for her own child leads to the fact that at a certain stage of growing up, the child begins to personify himself with his own mother. It is this reason that is the root of internal conflicts that become the basis for the formation of mental disorders. In the case of boys, such a mother's attitude can lead to a tendency to homosexuality, since female traits predominate in the character of a man.

The term "narcissism" has been used in the field of psychoanalysis for over a century. Sigmund Freud introduced several similar concepts, of which the narcissistic libido should be distinguished. This term should be understood as sexual energy directed towards one's own personality. According to a well-known psychologist, this condition is a mental disorder that requires timely therapy.

Contact with a narcissist

A narcissist is a person with a complex mental disorder who needs to communicate with other people. However, in the very process of communication, various difficulties may arise due to the specific manner of behavior. It is important to understand that the desire to rise above others is not a negative character trait, but one of the symptoms of the disease.

When there are people with obvious signs of the syndrome in question in a person’s social circle, the first one has to adjust himself to a certain framework of communication. First and foremost, most narcissists seek to devalue others. In order to feel their own importance, narcissists are forced to constantly be in search of the shortcomings and flaws of other people. Based on this, when communicating with such a person, you should open up as much as possible in order to reduce doubts in your person. This approach to communication instills in narcissists a sense of respect for the interlocutor.

Treatment for Narcissism

Narcissism is a disease that can become the breeding ground for more complex mental disorders. However, the people themselves suffering from this syndrome rarely turn to psychologists, because they do not notice the symptoms of the disease. In their opinion, the chosen behavioral model is correct and adequate. In the case of deficit narcissism, the person is highly dependent on public opinion. With this form of pathology, the patient does not receive a sense of satisfaction from his own personality. To feel their importance, the patient needs constant admiration of others, otherwise a serious internal conflict may arise.

A person with the disease in question needs urgent psychological treatment. It is very important that psychotherapy sessions are carried out by an experienced specialist with extensive experience in the treatment of personality disorders.

Narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder is a psychological condition in which a person has high self-esteem. In other words, it is pathological self-love, expressed in constant self-admiration and attention to one's own person. It is difficult for such people to socialize, because they do not like to communicate and be friends with them. And even the relatives of a narcissist are sometimes difficult. How to recognize a narcissist among your acquaintances? Is it possible to somehow help him, and is it worth it? And how not to become a narcissist yourself?

Term etymology

Most people under the word "narcissus" mean a flower with snow-white petals and a yellowish center. But the same term is also called a narcissistic person. There is a legend that explains the origin of this word. In Greek mythology, there was a young man named Narcissus. Once a nymph named Echo fell in love with him, but the guy was too proud to accept the beauty's pure and sincere love. Then Nemesis, the goddess of retribution, decided to punish him and doomed him to fall in love with his own reflection. And when the young man bent down to the pond and saw himself in it, he could no longer leave this place. On the bank of the pond, he died of suffering and hunger. Later, a flower grew in this place, which was called a narcissus.

By the way! The receptacle of the narcissus is slightly tilted down, which symbolizes the head of a young man, bowed to his reflection in the pond.

Now it is more clear who narcissists are. But today this concept is more vague. It is understood not so much as sensual narcissism as ambitious. The man is more than sure of his superiority. And he is sincerely perplexed if he loses to someone in something. This can cause serious psychological disorders, so narcissism is called to be fought.

How to recognize a narcissist

Let us highlight the general and most common signs of narcissism, which at different times were formulated by various psychologists based on data from observation of such individuals.

• Excessive sense of self-importance.
• Lack of response to criticism.
• Direct mockery of those who, in the opinion of the narcissist himself, do not meet the parameters of perfection.
• Demanding increased admiration for yourself and sincere surprise if this does not happen.
• Passionate desire to become the most-most (rich, beautiful, powerful, etc.).
• Belief in uniqueness.
• Lack of compassion for others. Perhaps it is present, but it is quickly suppressed by a spontaneously arising desire to admire oneself.
• Confidence in the envy of others towards oneself.
• A vivid demonstration of imaginary "achievements" that are actually notions or just platitudes (I'm the tallest, I have the most beautiful mole on my cheek, etc.).
• Arrogant behavior.
• Malicious pranks on others; insults are not uncommon (so-called negative narcissism).
• Mercantile interests.
• Fear or anger when others try to reproach him for something.
• Masking your negative traits and sides.
• Focusing on the shortcomings of others, ridiculing them in their favor.

You need to understand that narcissists do not do anything feigned. If they admire themselves, then they really enjoy it. There is no public game here. Everything is done only for self-satisfaction. Therefore, being offended by narcissists is stupid and useless. They will still not understand the reason for your bewilderment. Therefore, they must either be accepted or not communicated at all.

Women

It is generally accepted that it is women who love to engage in narcissism. But such is female nature: a man loves with his eyes, so girls want to look perfect, stunning. Therefore, if a woman often looks in the mirror or straightens her hair, this does not mean that you have a narcissistic person in front of you. Psychological disorder manifests itself somewhat differently.

While the girl is young, it is difficult to notice the manifestation of narcissism in her behavior. She dresses well, takes care of herself and looks great. And a certain arrogance in her communication even attracts men. By the way, a narcissist woman chooses a partner who is caring and gentle. Someone who will admire her. But she may not pay attention to his character, so her man will depend on the opinions of others. She simply does not need an ambitious and decisive one, because she will play the main violin in family relationships.

Problems for a narcissist woman begin when a child appears. This is its beginning, its continuation and its reflection, so it must also be perfect. A son or daughter has a hard time: a narcissistic mother will constantly expect something more from a child. Often women seek to see in their children what they themselves have not achieved, so the child becomes a victim of circumstances (the so-called narcissistic expansion). At the same time, the mother herself also suffers, but she cannot help herself.

Men

Narcissism in men, on the contrary, is more noticeable at a young age. The guy is quite active, a cheerful company is constantly spinning around him, but there are no close friends among them. A young narcissist devotes a lot of time to his appearance. Modern society can even decide that the boy has an unconventional orientation: he takes care of himself so zealously and carefully. Problems can also arise with girls, although relationships with a narcissist are very interesting and exciting in their own way at first. But the young narcissist will sooner or later consider that he deserves more, so any beauty and cleverness will be rejected, like the nymph Echo.

If a narcissist man still starts a family, he still continues to assert himself. A loving woman accepts her husband with all his shortcomings, but the child may suffer. A father with signs of narcissism cannot give him proper upbringing and banal attention. A man will be constantly carried away by his ambitions. The problem is that with each successive victory, the narcissist gets less satisfaction. As a result, by about the age of 35-40, he understands that there is no longer any pleasure from narcissism. And it's too late to look for happiness elsewhere (family, career). Therefore, the patients of psychologists often become men at the turn of their forties.

If in a couple?

Such families are not uncommon. Two people converge on one common interest: self-love. Those. in a pair, each partner is fixated on himself, but the second person is not against it at all. Narcissistic people support each other, and a family is built on this mutual understanding. And no one has a question how to live with a narcissist, because he himself is one.

But the children of such a couple have a hard time. They, too, are forced to adapt to the desires of mom and dad, embodying what they could not achieve. Although, sometimes parents throw their love on a small family member, but most often a narcissist also grows out of him.

Sexology

There is a kind of sexual deviation (deviation) when a person experiences sexual attraction to himself. Otherwise it is called autophilia or autoeroticism. And it is narcissistic behavior that sets the basis for such a disorder. At first, a person simply admires himself in the mirror or gets moral pleasure from the thought that he is perfect. This then begins to manifest itself in physical self-satisfaction, during which the narcissist does not fantasize, but enjoys his own beauty.

What Freud said

Speaking of sex, one cannot but mention Sigmund Freud. In his descriptions, he argued that daffodils often grow in single mothers who gave all their love to the only man - their son. The famous psychologist believed that sooner or later a boy in love put himself in the place of his mother, personifying himself with her. This gave rise to problems with one's own "I", on the topic of which Freud wrote a lot. Such a young man could easily become not only a narcissist, but also a homosexual, because female character traits predominated in him.

The term "narcissism" itself appeared in psychoanalysis in 1914. Although long before that, Freud introduced many other related concepts. One of them is narcissistic libido (or I-libido). This is when the energy of attraction is projected from others onto oneself. Freud believed that this is a severe mental disorder requiring treatment. But he did not deny that such people can live in society.

How to build communication

Those who don’t have close people with a narcissistic personality type in their environment must have snorted when they saw this question. But the narcissist is not at all a bad person who needs to be avoided. He does not wish harm to anyone, and his behavior is due to a mental disorder. And if at work or among friends there are people with signs of narcissism, then willy-nilly you have to find contact with them and build communication.

Narcissists have such a trait as the devaluation of other people's virtues. He will look for flaws and inconsistencies in you in order to feel like the very best against the background of you. Therefore, your task is to reveal yourself completely, leaving no reason for the narcissist to doubt you. Of course, he will not stop thinking that he is unique and unsurpassed, but respect for you will still appear.

In psychology, there is a technique that allows you to win over a person. In the case of a narcissist, you need to mirror his pomposity. For example, he enthusiastically tells you about nanotechnology, which you do not understand at all. The narcissist enjoys the fact that he is better than you in this field of science. What to do? To hit the ball, raising a topic that he does not understand. 95% out of a hundred that the narcissist will give you his crown or at least take off his.

A narcissist is a person who also has positive character traits. He can be kind, sweet, sympathetic and just meaningful to you. Therefore, if this is a close person who is dear to you, do not try to change him, but simply accept him as he is.

If you meet a malignant narcissist who is aggressive and tries to manipulate you, then it is not necessary to find a common language with him or maintain friendship. Each person has the right to choose the circle of his communication, so if you are completely uncomfortable with someone, you do not need to suffer. The so-called destructive narcissism, when all the actions of a narcissist are aimed at destroying everything around, is not common. But it is very difficult to communicate with such a narcissist. If you have a forced contact (at work, for example), then you can use ignoring. Just ignore his antics, and concentrate on business.

I am a narcissist. What to do

Narcissists rarely try to figure themselves out. They simply do not understand and do not experience any uncomfortable symptoms. They think that their behavior is normal and quite adequate. But if a person is tormented by deficit narcissism, he may feel a strong dependence on the opinions of others. This is a special kind of mental disorder when the narcissist is not satisfied with the admiration of himself. He wants others to admire him as well. And if this does not happen, problems begin.

A person who is experiencing deficiency narcissism syndrome is advised to contact an experienced practicing psychologist. Yesterday's high school graduate will not help him. You need a professional who has been working for many years. You can visit a psychologist both alone and with your loved one.

The syndrome of narcissism has become widespread among people, regardless of their age and gender, and has also become one of the most pressing problems in the field of psychology and psychotherapy. This phenomenon is due to a personality disorder and can be corrected through preventive measures and targeted treatment using various tactics.

Narcissism - what is it?

Narcissists are selfish and envious, unable to sympathize and empathize, need praise and recognition from others. But, despite all the negative aspects, people with this syndrome try to hide their helplessness, insecurity and insecurity, to protect fragile self-esteem from external influences. So, how do you recognize narcissists in society?

Signs of Narcissism

The symptoms of narcissism are varied. In this regard, allocate The most common symptoms of the syndrome are:

• Hypertrophied sense of one's importance (importance).
• Demanding increased admiration from others.
• Zero or harsh reaction to criticism.
• Passionate desire to gain wealth, power, beauty, coolness and love.
• Belief in one's own uniqueness and peculiarity.
• Lack of compassion and guilt.
• Envy and a far-fetched feeling of envy from others.
• Demonstration of non-existent achievements and success (boastfulness).
• Overconfidence.
• Taking a defensive position.
• Haughty attitude (behavior) and ambition.
• Sometimes malicious banter and insult.
• The manifestation of anger and rage in controversial situations.
• Pursuit of mercantile interests.
• Fear of your own inadequacy.
• Masking your negative sides, and focusing on the shortcomings of others.

Note! You can talk about narcissism only when a person has 5 or more signs of the syndrome.

Causes

• Anatomical.
• Psychological.
• Children's.

• thickening of the cortex;
• thickening of the outer shell;
• low activity in the place where empathy is formed;
• reduction of gray matter in the place responsible for compassion.

Additional Information. An MRI can detect physical abnormalities in the brain that indicate signs of narcissism.

• low self-esteem;
• the presence of a mental disorder (schizophrenia or the like);
• changed system of values ​​(media influence, etc.);
• unhealthy fanaticism, passionate worship of an idol;
• dependence on someone else's opinion;
• psychological trauma;
• overprotectiveness and cultivating a sense of uniqueness.

• improper upbringing in childhood (permissiveness, self-indulgence, idealization and frequent praise);
• lack of discipline in the child (what is impossible and what can be done);
• refusal of parents to form a healthy self-esteem in the baby;
• lack of approval and support from parents (the child is trying to earn them);
• standards of behavior imposed by parents through distortion of facts, due to which denial and defense mechanisms are formed in the child.

Important! Most often, the syndrome of narcissism is formed in those who in childhood were deprived of parental approval and support.

Narcissism in psychology

• Classic daffodils (narcissists). We are convinced of our own irresistibility, importance and genius. They do a favor by treating everyone condescendingly - they allow themselves to be admired, unrequitedly care for and serve them.
• Insecure narcissists. They feel special and at the same time doubt constantly and in everything. They need constant attention and admiration of others. This type of narcissist most often includes stars who are trying to get rid of feelings of uselessness and lack of demand.

People often suffering from narcissism have an unfriendly attitude towards old people, children, animals and other animated objects that have the ability to focus on themselves. At the same time, the owners of the disorder can skillfully disguise their attitude towards the above creatures, but they will not help them - this will reveal the narcissist.

It is important to remember that narcissists rarely care about the opinion of the interlocutor. He is perceived exclusively as a gray mass, able to listen with interest to the narrator. Carriers of the syndrome monitor their health with particular trepidation and require a similar attitude from others for themselves.

Syndrome of narcissism: how is it formed? (video)

Manifestations of narcissism in men and women

Men with a similar disorder, they try to mobilize their forces to achieve only one goal - to become significant in their eyes and for others. This desire will help you achieve success in your career and gain material wealth - to satisfy your ambitions. Having achieved the desired result, male narcissists do not rejoice for long. After some time, they are faced with emptiness. As a result, desires and aspirations begin to grow exponentially.

It should be noted that up to the age of 35, men with the syndrome of narcissism do not experience much anxiety due to the constant replenishment of the list of goals and tasks that require implementation. But as they get older, they begin to feel unhappy more and more. The problems associated with building relationships with other people, including family members, come to the fore. Aggressive outbursts may occur. Such a man acquires the title of a domestic tyrant.

The situation is most complicated in the case when each of the spouses is a carrier of the syndrome. In this situation, they will not be able to avoid the constant struggle for the title of the best of the best. Frequent scathing remarks and harsh criticism will quickly destroy the relationship between the spouses, putting an end to the marriage.

Note! The syndrome of narcissism manifests itself in men more often than in women.

Diagnostics

Regardless of the causes of narcissism, first, specialists conduct physical diagnostics - they try to identify pathologies. In the absence of such, the specialist interviews the patient. Answering questions and accompanying behaviors will help with identifying the signs of the syndrome. Identifying the symptoms of narcissism can also be done through special questionnaires or tests.

Most often, identifying narcissism is fairly easy. The owners of the syndrome are unsuccessful in many areas of life, and the denial of the existing disharmony only strengthens the doctor's suspicion. When communicating with patients, one should take into account their peculiar and harsh attitude towards criticism. In most cases, it is not the owner of the disorder who seeks help, but his relatives. Their detailed descriptions help the doctor to get a picture of the patient.

An obligatory item in the diagnosis of narcissism syndrome is the exclusion of other disorders:

• asocial (the presence of alcohol, drug addiction);
• hysterical (use of others and uncompromising manipulation);
• borderline (the presence of anxiety and suicidal tendencies).

Treatment of the narcissism syndrome

Another approach to treatment is that the doctor accepts the superiority of the patient, but does not show him condescension. The task of the specialist is to regulate the self-esteem of the patient. On the part of the medical staff, the necessary attention and respect is guaranteed.

Therapeutic measures to eliminate the disorder are determined by the doctor in each case. The following treatments are common:

• Individual.
• Group.

group therapy aims to develop healthy self-esteem and recognition of others as individuals in patients. First, the doctor teaches the patient to show empathy for other members of the group. With this treatment option, the specialist seems less authoritative - anxiety and aggression of patients begin to be controlled. The doctor's task is to reveal the essence of the disease, and the patient's task is not to leave the group during exposure.