A small humorous skit with the participation of children. Sketch of congratulations to the hero of the day by one person

Dad: Hi son, guess what I have.

Son: I have no idea, but I can imagine

Dad: Well, what can I have? I’ll give you a hint – one color in winter and summer.

Son: Face after drinking?

Dad: No, in green!

Son: Well, that’s what I’m saying, the face after drinking!

Dad: Son, that's enough! What is green in winter and summer?

Son: Oh, I know, they started giving you your salary in dollars!

Dad: Of course not! Well, son, such a plant!

Son (ironically): Not really a Christmas tree?

Dad (ironically mimicking): Yes, but how did you guess?

Son: It was very difficult, considering that you and I chose it together yesterday!

Dad: Okay son, let's set it up and dress it up. Where will we put it?

Son: I suggest going straight to the balcony so you don’t have to drag it later.

Dad: Well, no, that won’t do. Aren't you happy about the Christmas tree?

Son: I’m very glad, but I hope they won’t force me to dance around her!

Dad: Son, how can you say that? After all, the Christmas tree is a symbol of the New Year!

Son: Honestly, I’ve long wanted to ask: “Why is it needed at all?”

Dad: Why? So that Santa Claus puts gifts under it. Or do you want to go without gifts this year?

Son: It would be better if you gave the money you spent on the Christmas tree to Santa Claus. And maybe then a miracle would have happened and this year I would not have received the fifth encyclopedia about animals as a gift.

Dad (to himself): Wow, I was only thinking about the third one.

Dad (to son): Okay... but if we didn’t have a Christmas tree, where would Santa Claus put the gifts?

Son: I think the cactus in the living room is perfect for this purpose.

Dad: Well, putting gifts under the cactus, what are you doing? Do not make me laugh. Santa Claus puts gifts only under the Christmas tree.

Son: I think if you were forced to work on the night from 31 to 1, you would not only confuse a cactus with a Christmas tree, but also a fireplace with a microwave oven. So, is it in the living room? In the living room. Green? Green. Prickly? Prickly. That's it.

Dad: No, son! Santa Claus, he puts gifts only for good children and only under the Christmas tree!

Son: I don’t understand at all why Santa Claus flies here, all the way from the North Pole, just to move the gift from the closet with your panties under the Christmas tree? If he’s worried that I won’t find him, then he’s in vain!

Dad: Listen, I think that Santa Claus always gives encyclopedias about animals to overly curious children. So go to your room and play... reading the encyclopedia. (Son leaves)

Dad (to the audience): No, that won’t do anymore. My son doesn't believe in Santa Claus! Even grandfather in a sleeping robe and a red cap on his head can’t help! And anyway, how do I know what Santa Claus’s email is? In our time, everyone simply put letters in a box marked “Santa Claus” and that’s it. No, we need to do something. Now I’ll go and move the gift from the closet with my panties to the closet with his textbooks. He still doesn't look there! (Dad leaves)

Skits for children as home entertainment are always interesting, useful, and creative. Prepared as role-playing games, dramatizations of fairy tales, life stories, and riddles develop children's artistry and provide an outlet for emotions. Participation in the preparation and performance of skits involves children in the creative process and strengthens self-confidence. In addition, staging and participating in skits for children is the best way to show independence. And the joint creative work of children and parents on a production is the best activity for a friendly family.

The benefits of funny skits for children

1. For home use, humorous sketches on various topics have proven themselves to be the best. They are popular with children because they do not require such a display of acting skills, as, for example, in a mini-play. The desire to act out a funny miniature to make the viewer laugh will reveal all the child’s hidden talents. In addition, funny scenes for children will help:

• get rid of fears and timidity;
• develop memory;
• express emotions;
• increase self-esteem;
• take a creative approach to the design and execution of the scene.

2. Children are more willing to take on scenes related to their daily life and habits, for example, a comic meeting with a friend; what can happen to a candy lover; How does a child behave who is late everywhere or constantly loses something? Such performances help children look at their qualities from the outside. In addition, even without special artistic abilities, a short funny miniature can be shown to guests during the holiday and invited to participate.

3. Ideal for preschool children are short skits that imitate the life and habits of animals that children love and know well (cats, dogs, tiger cubs, monkeys). Preschool children with flexibility and spontaneity will easily portray their favorite characters. This activity expands preschool children’s knowledge about the world around them.

How to prepare funny scenes at home

Few parents use this type of creativity in home education, but absolutely everyone loves it when their children perform in kindergarten during the holidays. However, in order for the performance to always be a pleasant event for both the child and the adult, you need to teach your child to perform. Skits for children are great for this purpose. Where to start for parents who would like to make small theatrical scenes on weekends for the whole family a home tradition.

• The main thing is to ensure the child’s participation in preparing for the performance. You should come up with costumes and props, draw up a script, and choose a location for the scene together with your son or daughter.
• You can find the text of the words on the Internet, in a book with scripts, or come up with it yourself. The best indicator of proper preparation will be the absence of imposition of ideas or coercion to perform a particular task.
• When showing a skit at home, the responsibility to “ignite” the child with creativity falls entirely on the parents. It is recommended to start with joint performances in which children and parents participate.
• Games, including role-playing ones, will be a good help for developing creative abilities.
• After children have mastered performance skills, they gradually move on to performances by little artists without the participation of parents.

In order to prepare for the presentation, participants must:

• learn words;
• pronounce them as expressively as possible;
• use gestures and facial expressions;
• conduct 1-2 rehearsals.

When preparing a skit, parents need to:

• Choose a topic so that the child is sure that he chose it.
• Prepare the props together with your child.
• Learn words together.
• Provide a role model when performing a role.
• Show restraint and patience if the child fails to portray the character the first time.

The interest and desire of children and parents to participate in funny funny scenes is a guarantee of a successful performance in front of the audience.

Types of funny scenes

They can easily turn into a funny dramatization:

• Fairy tales, fables, stories remade in a modern way. Ideal for home dramatizations are funny works in which the plot quickly develops and there is dialogue between the characters. These can be both folk and original fairy tales and stories, for example, I. Krylov’s “The Monkey and the Glasses”, “Dragonfly and the Ant”, K. Chukovsky’s “The Buzzing Fly”, “The Cockroach”, “Telephone”; S. Marshak “The Three Little Pigs”, “Luggage”, “He’s so absent-minded...”; A. Tolstoy "The Wolf and the Little Goats"; N. Nosova “Mishkina Porridge”, “Living Hat”; G. Oster "Bad advice" and many others. It all depends on the creativity and interest of the parents, who will be able to adapt the text of the work to the family events and habits of the child.
• Mixed tales (mix of different texts). For example, based on the famous ones: “Kolobok”, “Little Red Riding Hood”, “The Wolf and the Seven Little Goats”, “The Little Thumb”. The dramatization can be the actions of heroes from different fairy tales, united by one plot. In such a scene, impromptu is successfully used, adults begin to improvise, and children continue.
• Funny stories from everyday life. Children look very funny in the role of adults. Preschoolers, in turn, like to copy and imitate adults. You can swap family roles and improvise funny home stories: a trip to the country, a trip to the zoo, meeting your grandmother, mom’s cosmetics. Here, for example, is how in a kindergarten they act out scenes based on home stories, which allow adults to look at the upbringing of their children from the outside.

• Funny songs, ditties, poems. The poems of E. Uspensky, G. Oster, A. Barto, B. Zakhoder are well performed. For example, these:

B. Zakhoder

We've got a mischief maker.
The whole family is grieving.
In the apartment from his mischief
There is literally no life!

O. Matytsina

The cat ate sausages in the morning,
An hour later, again at the bowl:
- Meow meow! - I hear again,
- I would like something meaty!
- You'll burst, dear cat!

Or ditties:

In the morning to mother our Mila
She gave me two candies.
I barely had time to give it,
She immediately ate them herself.

Grandfather taught a mouse to write,
And what came out was scribbles.
The mouse got a deuce.
And both cried bitterly.

I taught my sister Masha:
“You need to eat porridge with a spoon!”
Eh! I taught in vain -
I got hit in the forehead with a spoon.

• The plot for the sketch can be stories from “Jumble” or your favorite cartoon.

Examples of comic skits for children 5-7 years old

When choosing a skit for a child, you need to take into account his age. The younger the preschooler, the shorter it should be. Experts consider the ideal age for theatrical activities to be 5-7 years. In addition to age, the personal qualities of children should be taken into account. If the baby is shy, he may not be able to play the leading role right away. You should start by choosing a role based on your temperament and abilities. Then they gradually move on to more complex roles and miniatures.

"Alone at home"

Comic miniature

To prepare skits of this kind, it is good to use “Bad Advice” by Grigory Oster or an impromptu on this topic. The props for this scene can be a small table covered with a tablecloth to the floor. Below it are the necessary items, which during the show, participants take out from their side of the table and place on the table. If it is possible to use old things for props, it is recommended to “cook the dish” for real.

1st: If you stayed at home
Alone without parents

2nd: I can offer you
An interesting game.

1st: Titled "The Brave Chef"
Or "The Brave Cook".

2nd: The essence of the game is cooking
All kinds of delicious dishes.

1st: I suggest for a start
Here's a simple recipe:

2nd: Need to wear daddy's shoes (takes it out from under the table and puts it on the table)
Pour out my mother’s perfume (takes out a bottle from under the table and puts it on the table),

1st: And then these shoes
Lubricate with shaving cream (takes out a tube and puts it next to it),

2nd: And, watering them with fish oil (takes out a large bottle with a sticker, puts it on)
With black ink in half (shows a bottle of ink/jar of gouache, places it next to it),

1st: Throw into the soup that mom
I prepared it in the morning (take out the pan and place it on the table).

2nd: And cook with the lid closed
Exactly seventy minutes.

Both participants in chorus: You’ll find out what happens,
When the adults come.

Fable by I. Krylov “The Crow and the Fox”

Theatrical game

Performed in two persons, the text of the words is as in the original. You can add humorous notes to the fox and crow costumes. For example, a fox can be imagined as a forest robber. At the end of the fable, in response to the fox’s request to sing, the crow takes the cheese out of its beak and says: “I sing with dignity in baritone and falsetto at the Bolshoi Theater. This is not the place for a concert."

Scene “Morning porridge”

Miniature which can be played by children of different ages together with their parents

Mom in the role of daughter, sitting at the table. Son/daughter as mother in an apron.
Details: porridge in a plate, spoon.

Daughter: What's for breakfast? Porridge again?

Mother: Yes, useful Hercules.

Daughter: I won't eat it.

Mother: Porridge gives you strength! Fill your mouth with it quickly!

Daughter: Better give me a sandwich!

Mother: Well, come on, a spoonful. (Gives porridge from a spoon into your mouth). This is to be strong. (The daughter sits with her mouth pouting, does not swallow the porridge, shakes her head). To be beautiful! (Swallows. The daughter doesn’t let me put the next spoon in her mouth, she doesn’t open her mouth, she shakes her head. The porridge stains her cheeks and mouth.)

Daughter: Tired of porridge! (Mom quickly puts the spoon in her mouth.)

Mother: Smart and happy! (Opens mouth, swallows.) And as soon as you chew the porridge, you’ll immediately go outside.

The daughter swallows the porridge and runs away.

Mother: Oh, these persuasions, arguments and quarrels over porridge (Wipes his forehead, shakes his head). It takes so much effort to feed a child.

"Grandmothers at the entrance"

Dramatization for older preschoolers. The scene will be more interesting if the grandmothers in headscarves are portrayed by two boys or a father and son.

1st grandmother: Oh, Semyonovna, the grandchildren are already going to school!

2nd grandmother: Oh, Fedotovna, first grade already! We've got enough to do now!

1st: Oh, it’s scary, maybe someone will offend them! No adult will see...

2nd: And we will protect them and not give them offense. We will take them to school and carry their schoolbags!

1st: In order for our grandchildren to study well, we need to work hard.

2nd: Sign up for a sports gym and do some fitness building.

1st: Buy a computer, study it, and then teach lessons.

2nd: Drive a car and roller skate, and don’t get bored and grab your heart.

1st: Oh, the grandchildren are growing up so quickly, look at the institute!

2nd: Let's go, Fedotovna, get ready for school.

They get up from the bench and in unison read:

Lukomorye has a green maple,
An omelette hangs on the maple tree.
Both day and night the dog is a scientist
Sits and guards the maple tree.

"About foreign languages"

The miniature can be imagined as a theatrical game for younger preschool children. To do this, you need to select appropriate soft toys for which children will speak.

Kitty: Meow meow! This is ma-ma.

Puppy: You read it wrong. It says woof-woof. This is definitely ma-ma.

Piglet: I'll read it from the ABC book. It says oink-oink. It means ma-ma.

All participants in chorus: All the power is in foreign languages!

In a similar way, you can act out comic scenes from cartoons. If adults teach a child how to properly drive a toy and speak for it, such short miniatures will become a favorite game for children.

"I do not want to study"

A re-enactment for older preschoolers who are about to enter school.

Vova: If I were a minister,
I would close all schools.
And to all the children instead of school
Allowed to play on the computer
Ride a hoverboard
Or do nothing.
Play, walk and have fun,
And there is no need to study at school.
(Sits on a chair, plays on the phone. A fairy with a magic wand appears unnoticed on the sidelines. Vova doesn’t see her. She props her head up with her hand and falls asleep.)

Fairy: I am a fairy and the wishes of preschool children
In honor of the holiday, I will easily perform it.
Kohl Vova wants to be a minister
He will be. (waves his wand) One! Two!
(The fairy leaves. The king runs out in anger.)

King: Where is the minister? (Vova wakes up screaming)
We have a war here! The hordes are coming here!
How to repel an attack? How to protect the kingdom?

Vova(surprised): Am I a minister? That's it!
So what if it’s war!
There are tanks, planes and we are not afraid of war!

King: We don’t have that! This needs to be built! (Spreads his hands)
We need to count the troops and place them clearly in their places!
Check gold reserves,
Distribute the costs, otherwise bankruptcy awaits us!

Vova confused: I’m not a minister, I’m just Vova.
I still can’t read or count.

King: Well, you go to school, right?

Vova: No, I closed the schools... when I was still a minister.

The king runs away: Let's save ourselves! Let's run!

Vova: But I really want to study. I will never be lazy!
I will read books and solve difficult problems!

All participants appear in front of the audience.
In chorus: Everyone really needs schools!
Knowledge is always important!

"Magic Paw"

Theatrical game

You can sew a “magic paw” for this game yourself. She looks like a rag doll on her hand. If it is not possible to sew, the “magic paw” is imitated using an ordinary hand according to imagination. The essence of the miniature is the magical transformation of the owner of such a paw. From timid to decisive, from small to big and vice versa. The paw can serve as an assistant and advisor, ask questions and ask for anything. Parents play out the role of the “magic paw” with their child in ordinary everyday situations.
The listed examples can be diluted with improvisation and adapted for each specific child and specific case.

Performing in front of an audience, even if it is grandparents, always causes excitement for the participants and organizers. Some useful tips to help you stage a skit so that everyone is happy.

1. Everyone is in a good holiday mood - the actors are less nervous.
2. If the child has forgotten the text, you need to prompt him in a whisper.
3. If you mishandle the props, you need help.
4. Spectators should clap and encourage the participants in the scene with laughter.
5. At the end of the miniature - applause, or better yet, prizes.
6. Adult support from the beginning to the end of the entire creative process consolidates success and stimulates further creativity.

See also funny poems about school for children. The advantages of our funny skits are that they do not require costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and the one who plays the role of a teacher can use a printout that can be inserted into a magazine), and they only require a short time to rehearse. At the same time, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes, looking at themselves from the outside. Humor, jokes, funny scenes for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also check out School Humor.

1. Sketch "At Russian language lessons"

Teacher: Let's see how you learned your homework. Whoever answers first will receive a higher point.
Student Ivanov (raises his hand and shouts): Mary Ivanna, I will be the first, give me three at once!

Teacher: Your essay about a dog, Petrov, is word for word similar to Ivanov’s essay!
Student Petrov: Mary Ivanna, Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for all of us!

Teacher: You, Sidorov, have a wonderful essay, but why isn’t it finished?
Student Sidorov: Because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit it, who wrote your essay?
Student Koshkin: I don’t know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, let your grandfather come to see me tomorrow!
Student Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.

Teacher: What kind of word is “egg”, Sinichkin?
Student Sinichkin: None.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is unknown who will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.

Teacher: Petushkov, determine the gender of the words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Student Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Student Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!

Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and analyze the sentence.
Student Smirnov comes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes down: “Dad went to the garage.”
Teacher: Ready? We are listening to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad is the subject, gone is the predicate, to the garage is ... a preposition.

Teacher: Guys, who can come up with a sentence with homogeneous members?
Student Tyulkina raises her hand.
Teacher: Please, Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: There were no trees, no bushes, no grass in the forest.

Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the numeral “three”.
Student Sobakin: My mother works at a KNITTING factory.

Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board and write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the blackboard.
The teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with nets.
Student Rubashkin writes: The guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: What?
Teacher: Where have you seen bespectacled butterflies?

Teacher: Meshkov, what part of speech is the word “dry”?
Student Meshkov stood up and remained silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think about it, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Student Meshkov: What kind? Dryish!

Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat - thin, cry - laugh, day - night. Petushkov, now give me your example.
Student Petushkov: Cat - dog.
Teacher: What does “cat - dog” have to do with it?
Student Petushkov: Well, how about that? They are opposites and often fight with each other.

Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in class?
Student Sidorov: It’s a pity to waste time during recess!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother fell ill.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Student Sidorov: And I rode his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don't come to school tomorrow without your father!
Student Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?

Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a sentence with an appeal.
Student Sushkina: Mary Ivanna, call!

2. Sketch "Correct answer"

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?
Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Student: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum?
Student: No, I shouldn’t have plums.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?
Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don’t like plums.
Teacher: Wrong again.
Student: How many is correct?
Teacher: Now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!
(I. Butman)

3. Sketch "Our cases"

Characters: teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the board and prepares to write.
Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”
A student writes from dictation on the board.
Teacher: Great! Underline all the nouns in your story.
The student emphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?
Student: Yes!
Teacher: Start!
Student: “Dad and Mom.” Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.
Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.
Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.
Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?
Student: Which one? Of course, an A!
Teacher: So, an A? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Student: In the prepositional form!
Teacher: In the prepositional form? Why?
Student: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)

4. Sketch "At mathematics lessons"

Characters: teacher and class students

Teacher: Petrov, you have difficulty counting to ten. I can’t imagine what you can become?
Student Petrov: Boxing judge, Mary Ivanna!

Teacher: Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.
Student Trushkin goes to the blackboard.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Student Trushkin heads to the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!
Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!

Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.
Disciple Petrov: I don’t have it.
Teacher: Where is he?
Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don’t know math!
Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?
Student Ivanov: Mom doesn’t have free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.
The students get to work.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?
Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.
Student Shcherbinina: This is a mathematical Greek.

5. Sketch "At the lessons of natural history"

Characters: teacher and class students

Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Student Petrov holds out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.

Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!
Student Kosichkina: These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?
Disciple Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?
Student Petukhov: “Frog Traveler”

Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?
Teacher: True.
Disciple Zaitsev: That’s what I see: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?
Disciple Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.

Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (coming to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head is seven meters.
Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible?
Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, answer, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I’m terribly worried that the bell might interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?
Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.
Teacher: Try, Belkov.
Disciple Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?
Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”
Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Student Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!

6. Scene “Folder under the mouse”

Vovka: Listen, I’ll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What’s so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.
Andrey (laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!
Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?
Andrey: (winking and tapping his forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?
(I. Semerenko)

7. Sketch "3=7 and 2=5"

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?
Petrov: What?
Teacher: You haven’t done anything all year, you haven’t taught anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.
Petrov (looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you talking about? What kind?
Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!
Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is only equal to three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: How is that?
Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?
Teacher: That's right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?
Teacher: That's right.
Petrov: Let’s take the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!
Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.
Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...
Teacher: I see. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: Let’s take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?
Petrov: Right!
Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?
Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)

8. Sketch "Schoolboy and salesman"

Characters: a schoolboy and a store sales assistant

Sales consultant: What can I tell you?
Schoolboy: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales consultant: I don’t know.
Schoolboy: Okay... Pythagorean theorem?
Sales consultant: ... (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales consultant: (sighing) I don’t know...
Schoolboy: Well, why are you bothering then with your “What can I tell you?”!!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)

9. Sketch "Schoolchildren at the Stadium"

Characters: schoolchildren and stadium informant

A group of young fans led by a leader loudly chants:
"SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!" "SPARTAK IS A CHAMPION!"
Suddenly the voice of the stadium informant comes on:
Informant's voice: Attention young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans start chanting:
“SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!” “SPA-RTAC IS A ROMAN SLAVE!”
(KVN team from Ryazan)

10. Sketch “Unnecessary words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather”

Characters: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov

Hello, Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
- Wow, things are going strong.
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I say, just one wick froze this. Rolls towards the cage. Let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And let him show off. He opened his mitten. Yes, how it gets messy. Himself with a black eye. The teacher almost went crazy, and the bike booed. Laugh. Cool, right?
- Was there a horse there?
- Which horse?
- Well, the one who was laughing. Or I didn't understand anything.
- Well, didn’t you understand anything?
- Come on, let's start all over again.
- Well, let's. So, one wick...
- Without a candle?
- Without.
- What kind of wick is this?
- Well, one guy, a long one, rolled up to the sket...
-What did he ride up on, a bicycle?
- No, the skete had a bicycle.
- Which sket?
- Well, there's only one idiot. Yes, you know him, he walks around here with such a snob.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with whom, but with what, his nose is in the shape of a snob. Well, let me drive the bike, he says. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he have an itch?
- No, he sawed.
- Well, how did you saw it?
- What did you saw?
- Well, is it big?
- How?
- Well, this same schnobel?
- No, the cat had a snob. And the fuse got a black eye, a blast hit him in the head, and he began to wander around. He opened his mitten, and so he jerked.
- Why the mitten, did he get fussy in the winter?
- Yes, there was no winter there, there was a teacher there.
- Teacher, you mean.
- Well, yes, with a black eye, that is, with a great one, no, with coils. But it was the rolling of the bike that made the bike whoop.
- How did you whoop?
- And so, I’m covered. Into small pieces. Do you understand now?
- Understood. I realized that you don’t know the Russian language at all.
- I don’t know how!
- Can you imagine if everyone spoke like you, what would happen?
- What?
- Remember, at Gogol's. “Wonderful is the Dnieper in calm weather, when its full waters freely and smoothly rush through forests and mountains, neither rustling nor thundering. You look and don’t know whether its majestic width is moving or not” and further, “A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper.”
- I remember.
- Now listen to how it sounds in your quirky language: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering around and showing off, it saws its cool waves through the forests and mountains. "You don't know whether he's sawing or not. A rare bird with a shnobel will scratch all the way to the middle of the Dnieper. And if it finishes scratching, it will whoop and throw off its hooves." Do you like?
“I like it,” he said and ran, shouting: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather.”
(Lion Izmailov)

11. Young man in a nightclub

Characters: girl, young man, mother

A girl is sitting at the bar. A young man approaches her.

Young man: Hello, baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a little.
YOUNG MAN: Shall we come with me? I will give you an unforgettable evening!
GIRL: Sounds like it. But my mother is waiting for me at home at 23-00.
YOUNG MAN: Is mom waiting? Give it up! What, are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom too? Ha!

Suddenly, someone’s hand confidently takes the young man by the ear. Everyone can see that this is the hand of an older woman.

YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOM: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, mom! I…
MOM: I don’t want to hear it! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOM: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)

12. Radiologist's office

Characters: grandmother, boy, radiologist

Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor is sitting at the table.
A little boy and grandmother enter the office.

GRANDMOTHER (pointing to the boy). I've looked through everything and the glasses are nowhere to be found. I think he swallowed them. Just like your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST (addresses the boy). Have you swallowed granny glasses?
The boy doesn't answer.
GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! Just like your grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you through and find out everything.
GRANDMOTHER (joyfully). Yep, gotcha! I wish I had something like this at home.
RADIOLOGIST (looks at the picture). Well, well, well... You know... not only does he have glasses here, he also has a wallet with money. I can’t say exactly, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, we don’t need someone else’s. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can’t watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We'll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, lifts him by the legs and shakes him. Glasses and wallet fall out on the floor.
GRANDMOTHER (grabs her glasses). Thank you very much, doctor. I don’t even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
RADIOLOGIST (twists his wallet in his hands). No need. But if possible, I’ll keep the wallet as a souvenir.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, not ours, we don’t need someone else’s.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
RADIOLOGIST (loudly). Next!
(A. Givargizov)

Characters:
Dad: Zmey Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Math teacher: Leshy
Geography teacher: Kikimora
Botany Teacher: Witch
Class teacher: Vodyanoy

SERPENT GORYNYCH (flies into the teacher’s room):
...Yes, I told him a hundred times!..
Well, what did he do again?

GOBBLE:
Multiplied the minus with the sine -
Got a minus one!

KIKIMORA:
Confused albinos
With albatross...

WITCH:
Throwing apricots...

KIKIMORA:
Blowing soap bubbles!..

GOBBLE:
On a bet
Swallowed the call!

KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And he infected everyone with yawning!

WATER:
But yesterday
Brought to class
Hippopotamus!!!

GOBBLE:
With this nasty boy
There is no sweetness!

BABA YAGA (unctuously):
Maybe give him poison?..
Or throw it to the wolves?
AM –
And there is no bad student!

KIKIMORA:
Don't get excited, dear Yaga.
In our age
Such measures are outdated.

GOBBLE:
A hundred years ago
We would have it
Certainly,
Ate...
But now
We have
Not many students
In reserve...

WATER:
Agree!
Let's not resort
To extreme measures.

WITCH:
Let's try to entice him
A good example.

SERPENT GORYNYCH (confused):
Mmmm... Less or more...
That is - more or less!..
And yet...

WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example is not good...
But boy
Doesn't want to study at all!

BABA YAGA:
Oh, what a hassle there is with children!..

DRAGON:
Lock him in the closet - let him learn his lessons!
And if he doesn't stop yawning...

ALL IN CHORUS:
We'll turn it around
In chewing gum
And we will
SLOWLY
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)

14. Daily routine

Characters:

Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya

PETER:
- Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?

VOVA:
- Certainly! Regime... Regime is where I want, I jump there.

PETER:
- Wrong! A regime is a daily routine. Are you doing it?

VOVA:
- I even exceed it.

PETER:
- Like this?

VOVA:
- According to the schedule, I need to walk twice a day, but I walk four!

PETER:
- No, you are not exceeding it, but breaking it! Do you know what the daily routine should be?

VOVA:
- I know! Climb. Charger. Washing. Making the bed. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Walk. Prep. Walk.

PETER:
- Fine.

VOVA:
- And it can be even better.

PETER:
- How is this?

VOVA:
- Like this! Climb. Breakfast. Walk. Lunch. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Tea. Walk. Dinner. Walk. Dream.

PETER:
- Oh no. Under this regime, you will turn out to be lazy and ignorant.

VOVA:
- Will not work.

PETER:
- Why?

VOVA:
- Because with my grandmother we follow the entire regime.

PETER:
- How is it with your grandmother?

VOVA:
- Yes. I do half of it, and grandma does half of it. And together we get the whole regime.

PETER:
- I don't understand!

VOVA:
- Very simple. I do the lifting. The grandmother does the exercises. Washing - grandma. Making the bed - grandma. Breakfast is me. Walk - me. Preparing lessons - my grandmother and I. Walk - me. Lunch is me.

PETER:
- Aren’t you ashamed?! Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.

https://site/smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej/

15. About Pushkin

Two duelists stand opposite each other. One of them is Pushkin.

Second: Come together!

Pushkin and his opponent raise their pistols. They approach the barriers. Pushkin's opponent fires a shot. Pushkin lies wounded. The enemy approaches the wounded Pushkin.

Pushkin: For what?

Pushkin's opponent: Bastard! Because of you, I was left for the second year in literature!!!

16. School riddles

Characters: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov

SCHOOLBOY (addressing confidentially to the audience, pointing with his hand at a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is such a slowpoke! I came across interesting riddles here about school affairs, and the answers should be in rhyme. Of course, I guessed everything right away, and then I decided to test Vovka’s intelligence.

SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: “The time between two bells is called...”

VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!

SCHOOLBOY:
Well, that’s right, “change” is appropriate, but the answer must be in rhyme!

VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, I said it myself, that’s right, and then you start...

SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me tell you another riddle, just think about it before you tell me the answer. “The athlete told us: Everyone go to the sports hall...”

VOVKA SIDOROV (shouts out):
Shop!

SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? For what? Where did you see him?

VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? I need to buy new sneakers, otherwise the sole of mine is already falling behind on my left foot. And the sporting goods store is right opposite the school. You've seen him a hundred times too.

SCHOOLBOY (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!

SCHOOLBOY (to Vovka Sidorov):
But can you guess this riddle in rhyme? “Schools are not simple buildings; in schools they receive...”

VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday I almost didn’t touch Lenka Petrova’s bow, but she hit me on the head with a book, bam-bang.

SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to another riddle: “And today I got a grade again...”

VOVKA SIDOROV (shouting):
I got a C, C again in math.

SCHOOLBOY (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well, Vovka is slow-witted! What a slowpoke! Although... I look, his face is cunning and cunning. Maybe he was playing a trick on me? Today is April 1st!!!
(Leonid Medvedev)

17. About parents

A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.

Man: Hello, dear! ... Has our Bear done his homework? … Yes? What about his diary? Good, yes?! So, did he clean the room?! Crap! Have you eaten soup?! Nothing... I just went into the store, and there was a sale on belts!

School life is full of events - funny and sad, simple and complex, serious and not so serious - but always exciting. It is not for nothing that books and films “about school” are loved by all generations of former and current students. If you approach school situations with lightness and humor, you can have fun, and some problems, if you look at them from this angle, will be solved by themselves. To do this you just need to play! There is no need to even remember scenes from school life - these scenes have already been collected in our collection. And not simple ones, you will find here the newest original sketch from the author of “Kolobok in a New Way”, an opera sketch that will amuse any group, as well as fairy tale scenes. Joint creativity makes people closer. Share your scripts with us.

Humorous fairy tales for children for school and camp

A comic New Year's skit - the opera "ABOUT THE HARE" - funny until you drop, for an adult group and senior classes at school

Everyone sings in the skit as best they can, the funnier the better. The main thing is to rehearse 2-3 times and you will be the highlight of the evening :-) You should first listen to the cartoon “The Bunny Went Out for a Walk.”

In the photo below is our 8th grade class, mid-80s... We once staged a musical skit about a hare. While we were rehearsing, we laughed so hard, we could barely contain ourselves from laughing during the performance. 🙂 We came up with folders for the surroundings; words are learned very easily.

Chorus:
Oh, meadow ant grass,
Oh, you dear hare side!
We are sure that it will be late or early
The bunny will go out for a walk in the clearing.
One two three four five…
One two three four five…
One two three four five…
One two three four five…
One-two-three-four, one-two-three-four,
One-two-three-four-five-a-at...
…Came out!!
Hare: (tenor)
I went out into the forest for a walk,
I'm scared, I'm scared,
My soul is full of foreboding...
My soul... My soul-ah...
...Full of foreboding. The soul is full...

Chorus: His premonitions did not deceive him!
Hunter: (bass)
So where are you? I need you.
You deigned to eat my carrots!
Chorus:
What a shame, what a shame!
Our hare is a thief, our hare is a thief!
What a shame, what a shame!
Our hare is a thief, our hare is a thief!
Hare:
Not true!
Chorus:
Is it true!
Hare:
Not true!
Chorus:
Is it true!
Hare:
...I didn't eat carrots!
Hunter:
To the barrier!
Hare:
To the barrier!
Chorus:
Now someone's blood will be shed,
Now it will spill...
It will spill...
One male voice from the choir:
It's pouring...
Hare:
Oh, will my sideways eyes really close forever?
And I won’t see you, my love!
My love!
My love, my carrots!
Forever yours, my dear-a-a-a-a-a-a...
Hunter:
Now. Now. Now. Now…
Bang! Pow!
Hare:
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Hunter:
My little bunny is dying!
The choir sings vocalise and cries.
Hare:
They'll bring me home
I'll be alive...
Chorus:
And more than once
A bunny will come out
Take a walk!
And more than once
The bunny will come out for a walk!
Walk!
Walk!
Walk-walk-walk!
a curtain

The final, fifth parody (“opera”) ends with a bravura chorus “And the bunny will come out for a walk more than once!..”. In the script, this vocal number is not interrupted at this line, but has a continuation: “... the words cannot be heard, it is incomprehensible, it is incomprehensible - and I don’t care!” But censorship forbade performing this line in the cartoon, considering it a libel on Soviet opera.

Kolobok in a new way - original from the author

(reprinting of material is permitted only using a backlink)

Once upon a time there lived a grandfather and a woman far away, in a camp,

They gnawed on bread and ate porridge. They were just sad.

They had no children, no grandchildren,

That is why sadness, melancholy, and ruin came to them.

And the woman and grandfather decided not to be sad, not to toil,

It’s better to go to the dining room with a cheerful song!

We walked together at a friendly pace, scraped together a little flour,

Oils, sugar and salt! These are such weirdos!

The woman thought of baking a pie from that composition,

But while I was fiddling with the dough, it turned out to be a bun!

That kolobok was cooled down,

put it on the window

They gave us a little rest.

But they forgot one thing:

After all, they read the fairy tale more than once,

But they didn’t believe that the fairy tale was a real story!

That little bun rolled!

I'm tired of lying down!

He leaned his elbows on the threshold and started running.

He sees the director of the camp dear on the way

He looks at the unsociable miracle with a surprised look!

Kolobok sang a song here, which finished off the director,

But he learned from his experience, the director praised him!

He didn’t kick him out of the camp, and didn’t want to eat him,

But I only wished him success and a lot of happiness.

Told him to stay out of sight of the other kids,

Otherwise he will have to find out as a tear rolls from his eyes.

The kids will make you have fun and jump,

They’ll teach you to dance and sing, and won’t let you sleep.

But our hero, a brave fellow, did not heed the advice,

And with joy and enthusiasm he quickly jumped to the children.

He was, of course, surprised at first by the children's exploits.

They tickled him and made him jump faster!

I had to invent games for them, and dance and sing songs,

They had no time to get him and torture him!

But the bun got used to them and learned to live with them,

And now grandma and grandpa don’t have to grieve either.

The director said with obvious admiration that he couldn’t be better!

You will be the main counselor here! After all, there is no one cooler here!

Since then, in that camp there has been a competition for the best counselor,

But it’s still hard to find a better kolobok!

“The Prince at the Gate” (sketch for school and holiday camp)
Prince: Knock Knock.
Servant: Who's there?
Prince: I'm the prince behind the gates.
Servant: We must report to the king. Your Majesty,
King: (He's a prince.) What's happened?
Servant: There's a prince outside the gates.
King: So give him the gate.
Servant: Take the gate.
Prince: But I don't need a gate.
Servant: What do you need?
Prince: I need the princess's hand.
Servant:
King: (He's a prince) What's happened?
Servant: There's a prince outside the gates.
King: Well, give him the gate!
Servant: But he doesn't need a gate.
King: What does he need?
Servant: He needs the princess's hand!
King:
Queen: (She's a servant) What happened, darling?
King: There's a prince outside the gates.
Queen: Well, give him the gate!
King: Give up the gate!
Servant: Take the gate.
Prince: But I don't need a gate.
Servant: What do you need?
Prince: I need the princess's hand.
Servant: I need to report to the king. Your Majesty!
King: (He's a prince) What's happened?
Servant: There's a prince outside the gates.
King: Well, give him the gate!
Servant: But he doesn't need a gate.
King: What does he need?

Servant: He needs the princess's hand!
King: I need to consult my wife! Expensive!
Queen:(She's a servant) What happened, darling?
King: There's a prince outside the gates.
Queen: Well, give him the gate!
King: Give up the gate!
Servant: Take the gate!
Prince: But I don't need a gate.
Servant: What do you need?
Prince: I need the princess's hand.
Servant: I need to report to the king. Your Majesty!
King: (He's a prince) What's happened?
Servant: There's a prince outside the gates.
King: Well, give him the gate!
Servant: But he doesn't need a gate.
King: What does he need?
Servant: He needs the princess's hand!
King: I need to consult my wife! Expensive!
Queen: (She's a servant) What happened, darling?
King: There's a prince outside the gates.
Queen: Well, give him the gate!
King: But he doesn't need a gate.
Queen: What does he need?
King: He wants our daughter's hand.
Queen:
Princess: What?!
Queen: There's a prince outside the gates!
Princess: Well, give him the gate!
Queen: Give up the gate.
King: Give back the gate.
Servant: Take the gate.
Prince: But I don't need a gate.
Servant: What do you need?
Prince: I need the princess's hand.
Servant: I need to report to the king. Your Majesty!
King: (He's a prince) What's happened?
Servant: There's a prince outside the gates.
King: Well, give him the gate!
Servant: But he doesn't need a gate.
King: What does he need?
Servant: He needs the princess's hand!
King: I need to consult my wife! Expensive!
Queen: (She's a servant) What happened, darling?
King: There's a prince outside the gates.
Queen: Well, give him the gate!
King: But he doesn't need a gate.
Queen: What does he need?
King: He wants our daughter's hand.
Queen: I need to talk to the princess! Darling!
Princess: (She's a king, she's a servant) What?!
Queen: There's a prince outside the gates!
Princess: Well, give him the gate!
Queen: But he doesn't need a gate!
Princess: What does he need?!
Queen: He needs your hand!
Princess: NO!
Queen: No.
King: No.
Servant: No.
Prince: Absolutely not?
Servant: Absolutely not?
King: Absolutely not?
Queen: Absolutely not?
Princess: Exactly. NO.
Queen: Absolutely not.
King: Absolutely not.
Servant: Absolutely not.
Prince: Well, at least give me the gate!

Sketch "Our cases"

(By L. TO Aminsky)

Characters : teacher and student Petrov

Teacher:Petrov, go to the blackboard and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.

Studentgoes to the board and gets ready to write.

Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was silent guiltily, and then promised to improve.”

Studentwrites from dictation on the board.

Teacher:Wonderful! Underline all the nouns in your story.

Studentemphasizes the words: “dad”, “mom”, “Vova”, “behaviour”, “Vova”, “promise”.

Teacher:Ready? Determine which cases these nouns are in. Understood?

Student: Yes!

Teacher: Get started!

Student: "Father and mother". Who? What? Parents. This means the case is genitive.

Scolded someone, what? Vova. “Vova” is a name. This means the case is nominative.

Scolded for what? For bad behavior. Apparently he did something. This means that “behavior” has the instrumental case.

Vova was silent guiltily. This means that here “Vova” has the accusative case.

Well, the “promise,” of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!

That's all!

Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Bring me the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark you would suggest you set for yourself?

Student: Which one? Of course, an A!

Teacher:So, five? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?

Student: In the prepositional form!

Teacher:In the prepositional? Why?

Student : Well, I suggested it myself!

Sketch "Correct answer"

(AND. B utman)

Characters : teacher and student Petrov

Teacher: Petrov, how much will it be: four divided by two?

Student: What should we divide, Mikhail Ivanovich?

Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.

Student: And between whom?

Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.

Student: Then three for me and one for Sidorov.

Teacher: Why is this?

Student: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.

Teacher: Doesn’t he owe you a plum?

Student: No, you shouldn’t have plums.

Teacher: Well, how much will it be if four plums are divided by two?

Student: Four. And all to Sidorov.

Teacher: Why four?

Student: Because I don't like plums.

Teacher: Wrong again.

Student: How many is correct?

Teacher: But now I’ll put the correct answer in your diary!

Scene "3=7 and 2=5"

(Newspaper "Primary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)

Teacher: Well, Petrov? What should I do with you?

Petrov: And what?

Teacher: You didn’t do anything all year, you didn’t study anything. I don’t really know what to put on your report.

Petrov(looking sullenly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanovich, was engaged in scientific work.

Teacher: What are you talking about? What kind?

Petrov: I decided that all our mathematics was wrong and... proved it!

Teacher: Well, how, Comrade Great Petrov, did you achieve this?

Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was wrong and this... Archimedes!

Teacher: Archimedes?

Petrov: And he too, After all, they said that three is equal to only three.

Teacher: What else?

Petrov(solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!

Teacher: Like this?

Petrov: But look: 15 -15 = 0. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: 35 - 35 =0 - also true. So 15-15 = 35-35. Right?

Teacher: Right.

Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3(5-5) = 7(5-5). Right?

Teacher: Exactly.

Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) = (5-5). This is also true!

Teacher: Yes.

Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 = 7!

Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, we survived.

Petrov: I didn’t want to, Ivan Ivanovich. But you can’t sin against science...

Teacher: It's clear. Look: 20-20 = 0. Right?

Petrov: Exactly!

Teacher: 8-8 = 0 - also true. Then 20-20 = 8-8. It is truth too?

Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.

Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5(4-4) = 2(4-4). Right?

Petrov: Right!

Teacher: Then that’s it, Petrov, I’ll give you a “2”!

Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?

Teacher: Don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality by (4-4), then 2=5. Is that what you did?

Petrov: Let us suppose.

Teacher: So I put “2”, who cares. A?

Petrov: No, it doesn’t matter, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.

Teacher: Perhaps it’s better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a D in a year, which, in your opinion, is equal to an A!

Guys, help Petrov .

Scene "Folder under the mouse"

(AND. WITH Emerenko)

Vovka: Listen, I'll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took the folder by the mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.

Andrey: Ha ha ha! It's really funny.

Vovka(surprised): What's so funny? I haven't even started to tell you yet.

Andrey(laughing): A folder... under your arm! Well thought out. Yes, your folder won’t fit under your arm, he’s not a cat!

Vovka: Why “my folder”? The folder is dad's. You've forgotten how to speak correctly because of laughter, or what?

Andrey: (winking and tapping himself on the forehead): Ah, I guessed it! Grandfather - under the arm! He himself speaks incorrectly, but he also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great that you came up with this - funny and with a riddle!

Vova(offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to the end, but you laugh and get in the way of talking. And he dragged my grandfather under his arm, what a storyteller he was! I'd rather go home than talk to you.

Andrey (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can't laugh?

Sketch "At the lessons of natural history"

Characters : teacher and students in class

Teacher:Who can name five wild animals?

Student Petrov reaches out his hand .

Teacher: Answer, Petrov.

Student Petrov: Tiger, tigress and... three tiger cubs.

Teacher: What are dense forests? Answer, Kosichkina!

Student Kosichkina : These are the kind of forests in which... it’s good to doze off.

Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.

Student Simakova : Petals, stem, pot.

Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to humans?

Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.

Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?

Student Petukhov: "Frog traveler"

Teacher: Who can answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.

Student Mishkin: The river has two banks, and the sea has one.

Student Zaitsev reaches out his hand .

Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Is there something you want to ask?

Student Zaitsev: Mary Ivanna, is it true that people descended from monkeys?

Teacher: Is it true.

Student Zaitsev: That's what I see: there are so few monkeys!

Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life expectancy of a mouse?

Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.

Teacher: Meshkov will go to the board and tell us about the crocodile.

Student Meshkov (coming to the blackboard) : The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head - seven meters.

Teacher: Think about what you are saying! Is it possible?

Student Meshkov: Happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!

Teacher: Khomyakov, answer me, why do people need a nervous system?

Student Khomyakov: To be nervous.

Teacher: Why do you, Sinichkin, look at your watch every minute?

Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the bell will interrupt an amazingly interesting lesson.

Teacher: Guys, who can answer where the bird is flying with a straw in its beak?

Student Belkov raises his hand higher than everyone else.

Teacher: Try, Belkov.

Student Belkov: To the cocktail bar, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth a person develops?

Student Teplyakova: Inserts, Mary Ivanna.

Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately give you an A plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American time?”

Student Klyushkin reaches out his hand .

Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin. Teacher : Trushkin goes to the board to solve the problem.

Student Trushkingoes to the board.

Teacher: Listen carefully to the statement of the problem. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...

Student Trushkinheads towards the door.

Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going?!

Student Trushkin: I ran home, I have candy!

Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put your deuce in it yesterday.

Student Petrov: I don't have one.

Teacher: Where is he?

Student Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare his parents!

Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother for another ten rubles, how much money will you have?

Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.

Teacher: You just don’t know math!

Student Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!

Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, what is three times seven?

Student Sidorov: Marya Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!

Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do your homework for you?

Student Ivanov: And mom doesn’t have free time!

Teacher: Now solve problem number 125 yourself.

The students get to work .

Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you copying from Terentyev?

Student Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he’s copying it from me, and I’m just checking to see if he did it correctly!

Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Shcherbinina.

Shcherbinin's student : This is a mathematical Greek.