How to recognize lies in text messages? Advice from scientists. How to tell if a person is lying

When a provocative publication publishes an article entitled “How to tell if a woman is lying to you in a text message?”, certain suspicions immediately arise regarding the content of this article.

Lie Analysis

In this case, we are talking about a pre-print version of the results of a study conducted at Cornell University, the authors of which claim that women use longer sentences and non-committal words if they want to deceive someone in a text message.

How true is this statement? It's time to find out. The pre-print version explains how the team used an impressive database of existing messages sent on Android by a large number of men and women, including students.
It said previous studies examining lying in text messages had very small samples, and this study aims to correct that shortcoming. Previous research shows that people who want to deceive use more personal pronouns, such as “I personally,” as well as short-length indefinite sentences with less complex vocabulary. Does this also apply to text messages?

Can correspondence reveal deception?

The text messages were analyzed for word choice, content, context, and how true they were based on the events that followed. The researchers started with 1,703 conversations, and when they discarded all the ones that didn't involve any lies at all, 351 conversations remained. In these conversations, both men and women used longer sentences when they wanted to lie.
Women's sentences containing lies were 13 percent longer than usual, while men's sentences were significantly lower, at just 2 percent. Although there is some difference in the way writer-directed words (such as “I” and “me”) are used, both men and women showed a slight increase in the frequency of their use when composing untruthful messages. The same goes for the variety and frequency of use of non-specific phrases such as “probably” and “possibly.”

Students lie differently than other people

Interestingly, in the case of students, deceptive sentences were 25 percent longer than truthful sentences, while for non-students the average was 0.12 percent. And at the moment, scientists cannot say why this happened.
Both students and others used nonspecific phrases such as "probably" and "maybe" when they wanted to lie. Non-students saw an 18 percent increase in the frequency of such phrases, while students saw a whopping 111 percent increase. So, yes, women use longer sentences and vague phrases when they lie in a text message, but so do men. However, the most interesting thing that was discovered during the study is that students lie very differently from other people.

How to find out if a person is lying to you. How do you know if you are being scammed? It is not so easy. It's difficult to spot a lie. There are no precise verbal or nonverbal signs of detecting lies. You can't be 100% sure of anything.

However, there are several strategies that will help you recognize a liar and try to expose him to the truth. Try this tactic and your chances of being scammed will decrease.

Lie detection tactics - all attention to detail

The psychology of lying and the study of the behavior of liars has long been under the close attention of psychologists. These tactics and ways of conducting a conversation will allow you to be more attentive to lies.

Ask about the little things

Liars tend to leave out sensory details in their stories. For example, you made up a story and presented the lie as the truth. But it will be difficult for you to answer unexpected additional questions. For example, your friend claims that he was in a restaurant. Although you are inclined to think that he was not there.

What additional questions can you ask to recognize a liar? Ask about his feelings. What was the taste of the food, what was ordered at the next table, how the table was set and similar questions. Such questions can confuse him or cause him anxiety.

How to recognize a lie in a letter or email

The world is full of Internet messages. You are expecting an important letter from a friend, but his answer does not satisfy you. Read the letter between the lines. Consider how your respondents answer questions. The answer to the question should be direct, to the point, and on topic. A liar tries to go around the topic on a tangent and move on by talking about something else. If in correspondence this person avoids answering direct questions and constantly touches on indirect topics, then this is a sign of lying.

Slow speech, pauses and errors, signs of lying

To recognize a liar, analyze speech. People who lie often think twice. The conversation is filled with gaps, pauses, bouts of thoughtfulness, speech errors, and repeated words and phrases. People who tell the truth take a more active part in the conversation. Their behavior is more direct and open. A liar tends to use speech that consists of many unnecessary words and interpretations.

Coincidence of facial expressions and emotions

When people tell the truth, their thoughts and emotions tend to align. A person’s face allows you to “look” into his emotions. If someone tells you that they don’t like something, a corresponding grimace appears on their face.

Collective lies

Let's say that two people are going to tell you a "true" story. What to pay attention to. As a result of a study on applied psychology, the following pattern was revealed.

If people are collectively trying to lie to you, they will be less likely to interrupt and correct each other. If a person tells the truth, then he doesn’t care what it looks like. Collective lies are a kind of risk. People are less willing to take risks by correcting their partner's lies.

Listen to a liar, strain your memory

Liars often go back to what they've already said. It's hard to make up a true story on the spot. Instead of constantly coming up with something new, a liar tends to retell a story from the past. It is much easier for a liar to turn to his experience. His luggage already has access to all the sensory and experiential details of what happened. If you are told that something terrible happened last night, but you have heard it before, be vigilant.

Reverse story order

Use a technique researchers call “reverse narrative order.” The respondent is asked to tell a story in forward chronological order and then repeat the same story again in reverse order. People who lie usually report facts in different ways.

A liar's retelling is more accurate and resembles a pre-thought-out script. People who tell the truth often remember new details of the story. This happens because when rewinding, additional information is often remembered that was forgotten during a direct retelling.

Decoy

Try a tactic that psychologists call “baiting.” For example, you ask a friend to tell her where she was last evening. You suspect that she spent time in some store, but you doubt it. You report that a mutual friend of yours was also there, although she did not see him. Mentioning a mutual acquaintance can unsettle a person and lead to a truthful story.

If you suspect a lie

  • Ask about small details and sensations
  • Look for direct answers to direct questions
  • Pay attention to pauses and speech errors
  • Facial expressions must correspond to emotions
  • Remember past stories
  • Ask to tell it in reverse order

In the end, it is worth noting that knowing and using such techniques, you should not turn a friendly conversation into an interrogation with bias. A person may feel that they are being manipulated. It is better to immediately ask to tell the truth.

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There are no absolutely honest people in nature. We all embellish events a little, tell white lies, or don’t tell the truth completely. We are deceived by family members and close people, not to mention colleagues or business partners. Nevertheless, the secret always becomes apparent and it is quite possible to expose a liar. How to spot a liar?

Nonverbal cues

Lack of frankness is determined primarily by. A person who is deceiving is given away by his posture, movements, etc. By deceiving an interlocutor, a person creates a stressful situation for himself, because lying is unnatural. The body reacts painfully to untruths and betrays itself. The easiest way to expose a liar is through nonverbal cues. Here they are:

It is no coincidence that this part of the face is called the mirror of the soul. It is in them that the first indicator of lying is determined, because it is much more difficult to lie with the eyes than with the tongue. The expression of the eyes is practically beyond the control of the owner. A person hiding information does not try to maintain eye contact with the interlocutor. Ask him a question at this moment. If there is nothing to hide, then the person will look away to think about the answer and remember reliable information. And if there is nothing to remember, then the direction of gaze will not change. A liar, focusing his gaze and giving out pre-prepared data, blinks less often. The direction of view is also important. If the interlocutor is looking to the right, he is probably lying.

Movements

If the other person's question takes him by surprise, the liar uses red herrings to stall for time and come up with a plausible answer. This is expressed in actions that do not carry a specific meaning. A man ties his shoelaces, straightens his tie, sorts through objects, examines the interior. The main thing is to discern a distracting maneuver in the movements of the interlocutor.

If the interlocutor has something to hide, only one side of the body will be active. The person may twitch a shoulder or swing a leg, but in general their movements will be stiff and unnatural, and their manner of speaking will be slow.

When communicating with a person, pay attention to his lips. If, when arranging a meeting, a person purses his lip, then the date is unlikely to take place. Pursing lips - . Don't lose sight of your interlocutor's smile. With deceitful, ostentatious friendliness, a false smile will be noticeable.

- a treasure trove of information. Asymmetrical facial expressions tell the interlocutor about a lie (smile from one corner of the mouth, etc.), as well as scratching the ear or nose. Sincere surprise cannot last longer than five seconds. If the expression of amazement on your face lingers, know that the person knew in advance what you just told him.

They deserve separate consideration. A person who holds his neck with his hands during a conversation is afraid to spill the beans to his interlocutor. Lies are also signaled by crossed arms on the chest, intertwined fingers and palms hidden in pockets. A liar unconsciously tries to hide his palms from prying eyes. When telling the truth, a person reinforces the story with gestures, emphasizing key phrases. A liar does not do this, because he tries to control his own emotions as much as possible.

The liar's speech reveals

Speech and intonation reveal a liar no less than body language. By paying attention to the other person during a conversation and practicing exposing liars, you will be able to detect insincerity from the first words. How does speech reveal liars?

Hypocrisy and pretense. This is often seen in a women's group or when meeting two acquaintances who have not seen each other for several years. Both interlocutors treat each other with hostility or indifference, but politeness does not allow them to express their own opinions openly. This is where feigned mannerisms, friendliness and cordiality in conversation arise. All this is visible to the naked eye. If a loved one behaves this way, he is lying.
A liar, not wanting to express truthful information, answers questions with the words of the interlocutor. “Did you turn off the sound on my phone?” - “No, it wasn’t me who turned off the sound on your phone.”
A liar speaks more slowly. He weighs and ponders his words because he is afraid to spill the beans and say too much. A lot of facts can also be added to the main story, which you can do without.

Often, a person hiding the truth turns on the “fool” and talks as if he does not understand the essence of the issue. This happens until the interlocutor runs out of questions. Then the liar calms down.
Acting on the principle “the best defense is an attack,” a liar goes on the attack. He blames his opponent and turns the tables in every possible way. Feeling guilty, the interlocutor stops trying to get to the bottom of the truth.
The liar's speech is not grammatically correct. It is often confused, repeated and expressed incorrectly.
If during a conversation the interlocutor constantly changes the topic or is happy about it and noticeably relaxes, you can be sure that until this moment you have not heard a word of the truth.
If there are inaccuracies in the interlocutor’s narrative and the story does not inspire confidence in you, ask them to recount the events in reverse order. A liar will become confused and nervous, but a truth teller will have no problem doing so.
To avoid exposure and not to compromise himself, a liar can pretend that he has forgotten some facts or the essence of the event, and then, according to the scenario, he turns into a fool.
Deceivers do not explain the facts and avoid questions that require a direct answer.
A person who does not tell the truth will often clarify in conversation that he is being honest, even if there is no need for this. The liar insists that the interlocutor confirms that he believes him. A truthful person has no use for this.

All of the above signs are noticeable when communicating face to face, but what if the face and movements of the interlocutor are not visible?

How to recognize lies through correspondence?

These days, other tools and platforms for exchanging electronic messages are incredibly popular and relevant. How to recognize a liar in this case, since the person is not visible, and the letters of the letter are not distinguished by emotionality and expressiveness?

Sooner or later the virtual interlocutor will begin to contradict himself. A lie is difficult to think through in detail and... Facts from the liar's early stories will contradict the stories of the present.

Lies are superficial. It is not supported by emotions and experiences. Therefore, the information and stories of a liar are vague, they are not specific and do not express their own thoughts.

People (both real and real) have their own communication style. If atypical terms and clauses appear in a conversation, you know that this is a liar.

Deceivers often give out only positive information about themselves and tell different people about the same event in different ways. The result is confusion and lies are revealed.

A liar persistently repeats the same information. The sages of the East said: “You told me once - I believed, you repeated - doubt crept into my mind, you said it a third time - I realized that you were telling a lie.”

March 22, 2014


Everyone uses lies - some for sport, some for their own salvation, some for selfish purposes. Yes, and you yourself sometimes sin with this too, don’t you? But how do you know if a person is lying?

Features of speech

Even if you are talking on the phone and cannot see the eyes of your interlocutor, you can quite understand when they are telling you a lie. A liar's speech has some peculiarities. Let's look at them.

You can determine that a person is lying by using “extra words.” This is especially noticeable if you know your interlocutor well and know that he does not suffer from such speech garbage. If unusual “so to speak”, “well, for example”, etc. suddenly appear in your speech, it is quite possible that they are lying to you. But the point is that a liar can make things up on the fly and will try to disguise pauses with all sorts of “so to speak.”

Uncertainty

Also unnecessary words. This includes “somewhere”, “any” and so on. “I will do something for you” means that nothing will be done for you. This also includes expressions that indicate a person’s uncertainty: I will try, I will try, I will make an effort, I will try to help you. Here are the introductory words: perhaps, probably...

You are assured of the authenticity

Do not even doubt that if they tell you “don’t even doubt”, you are definitely being lied to. This is true, because a liar projects onto you doubt about his sincerity.

Just a reluctance to talk

This is the unwillingness to lie to you.

Excuses

I just want to tell you...after all...only...A person who has such words in his speech unconsciously (or consciously) feels guilty or awkward.

Ask him for details

And remember. Over time, the liar will definitely get confused in them and there will be inconsistencies in the story. If there are too many details and without questions, you can also suspect that you are being told false information.

Gesture cues

How to recognize a lie by a person’s movements and plasticity? Quite simple. Here are some "tags".
  • Minimum gestures during speech. If a person is telling the truth, there will be a lot of gestures: this is how he splashes out his own emotions, trying to stir things up. If there are almost no gestures, or the person stands like an idol, perhaps he is lying now. Gestures give us away perfectly.
  • If the person is very active, make sure that the gestures match the words. For example, if a person agrees with everything, but shakes his head negatively (a classic example!), the body is telling the truth.
  • A liar may be hiding from you. No, not in the closet, but at the computer, for example, or at the table. Again, even a person with weak intelligence understands that his body will definitely give him away.
  • The power of touch. How can you tell if a person is lying using a piece of paper? Look what he does with it. A liar will definitely twirl a piece of paper, a curl of hair, a pencil, a flash drive in his hands. However, this does not apply to overly emotional people who always do this. And a lying person constantly touches his face. Particular attention should be paid to the lips. If a person constantly touches them, he’s definitely lying. Also, the lips may be closed, or the person may bite them. However, if it’s just a habit, don’t pay attention.
  • The man takes a break. For example, to drink coffee or smoke, he coughs. During this time, he can come up with a continuation of his lie, if anything. This also does not apply to nervous and emotional people.
  • A liar may hug himself during a conversation, or lean away. And also move away sharply. In addition, when lying, gestures will be closed.
  • The liar is very tense during a conversation. He may not blink when talking.
  • It becomes difficult for him to speak. Sometimes when lying, your throat begins to dry out and your breathing becomes difficult. It will be noticeable.
  • Another warning sign is when a person tilts his head sharply when asked a direct question. It doesn't matter whether it's backwards or to the side. Also, see if the person is pointing his fingers at you or somewhere to the side. This may indicate that he is angry that he was caught in a lie.

Other tricks of liars

Pay attention to the person's communication style. Sometimes he will not give himself away with a single gesture, but will change his communication style. We pay attention to such changes too.

Insincere behavior

It's always noticeable. A person can try on a new role in order to hide his lies. A striking example is a girl admiring her friend’s new hairstyle. In fact, the hair color or hairstyle may be terrible, but the girl can gloat over the failure of her competitor.

The liar turns on the "fool"

If you ask a person a question, and he pretends that he did not understand the essence of it, most likely you will lag behind: what to take from him. And the liar will breathe a sigh of relief. This will be noticeably different from a real misunderstanding in that it is hypertrophied and emotional. From the same series, turning on amnesia when you need to comment on a situation.

Aggression

If the interlocutor does not want to reveal the truth, then he may begin to blame you, and of all sins at once, and turn the tables. Choked by guilt, you are unlikely to continue searching for the truth.

Excuses

A liar will have everyone to blame except himself. He will blame you, your neighbor, your colleague for everything.

Sweet sweetness and flattery

This method is used by many who want to cloud your consciousness and distract you from the topic of conversation.

Covering up with religion

If the liar cannot justify himself in any way, he may begin to cry out to God and rant about the fact that religion will not allow him to do this. This is also a lie.

Evasion

A liar can not only change the topic of conversation or appeal to God, but also demonstratively go into work or be distracted by important matters, just to avoid speaking to the point. This is how zero for mass turns out. This is also a way to lie.

Everything mentioned above is just very generalized behavior patterns of people who lie. You should not accuse a person of lying who simply has a bad nervous system. Just look into your eyes and a lot will become clear.

Deception and lies have become part of everyday life. A lie can be harmless, or it can pose a serious threat. This article will help you learn how to recognize liars based on a variety of signs.

Every modern person needs to be able to recognize lies. To do this, you need to learn several techniques and remember the main manifestations of lies in facial expressions and gestures.

How to recognize a lie between a woman and a man during a conversation by facial expressions, gestures, eyes: the theory of lies

First of all, lies are manifested in a person’s facial expressions.

In order to recognize a liar, look carefully at your interlocutor. If you see the following signs in his facial expressions, then he is most likely a liar.

  • Asymmetry. This symptom can manifest itself in different ways. Firstly, one side of the interlocutor’s face may express an emotion more strongly. That is, on the face on the right or left, the muscles will be more tense.
  • Time . If during a conversation the interlocutor’s facial expression changes after just 5 seconds, then this is a pretense. Scientists have found that usually a change in facial expressions occurs on average after 10 seconds. However, if your interlocutor is experiencing rage, delight or depression, then his facial expression changes really quickly.
  • Inconsistency between emotions and words. If your interlocutor verbally expressed any emotion, but his face is still calm, then he most likely deceived you. It's the same with the delayed expression of emotion. For example, if a person says how sad he is, but the sadness on his face appears late, then he wants to mislead you. Sincerity is manifested in the synchronicity of words and emotions.
  • Smile . A smile can also often appear on the interlocutor’s face when he is deceiving you. There are two reasons for this. A person is accustomed to using a smile to relieve tension. This is a kind of instinct that appears in childhood and persists until adulthood. And since when a person cheats, he experiences stress, a smile helps him relieve stress. Another reason why liars often smile is in others. Joy helps hide their true emotions.

However, when trying to spot a liar by their smile, be careful. Scientists have found that during conversations, liars and ordinary people smile with the same frequency. Only their smiles are different. A liar's smile can be called "strained." She looks tense and her lips are pulled back slightly, slightly showing her teeth.


Also, a lie can be easily noticed in the eyes of the speaker.

If the other person is honest with you, he will look you in the eye most of the time. However, a liar will prefer to avoid eye contact by any means necessary. But be careful, an experienced liar, on the contrary, will try to look at you as often as possible during a conversation. If an honest person can look away a couple of times when remembering or imagining something, then an experienced liar will still make eye contact in these cases.

Simply put, during a normal conversation, eyes meet about 2/3 times during the entire conversation, while when talking with an inexperienced liar, eyes will meet a maximum of 1/3 times during the entire conversation. When the conversation returns to what the liar is trying to hide, his gaze will immediately turn to the side. This way, the liar will try to focus on coming up with the most plausible answer.

Pay attention to the pupils of your interlocutor. If they have expanded, then he is lying. At the same time, the liar’s eyes sparkle. All this comes from the stress he experiences.
It’s interesting that men who are liars usually look down, while women who are liars, on the contrary, tend to look up.

Observing body language is a great way to spot a liar. Here are some gestures and their features that are signs of lies:

  • Stiffness. The interlocutor's gestures are awkward and stingy. He moves and gestures little. This does not apply to modest people, who always tend to behave this way.
  • Scratching. A liar will often be nervous and because of this, he will often involuntarily touch his nose, throat, area around the mouth, and also scratch behind the ear.
  • Nervousness. A liar often bites his lips, tries to distract himself from the conversation and smoke. Also, his gestures will be very nervous, his gestures will be abrupt.
  • Hands. If a person constantly brings his hands to his face, as if trying to close himself off from you, this is a sure sign that he is lying to you.
  • Mouth covered with hand. A liar involuntarily tends to cover his mouth with his hand, sometimes while pressing his thumb to his cheek. Sometimes this is accompanied by coughing. It’s as if the person is trying to cover his mouth in time so as not to let it slip. And the cough is designed to distract you from the topic of conversation. After all, if you are polite, you can ask if the interlocutor is healthy. And thus you will be distracted from the real topic of conversation.
  • Touching your nose. This gesture may be a continuation of the previous one. The whole point is that the liar, having caught himself with his hand reaching for his mouth, tries to correct himself and pretends that his nose is just itchy.
  • Ear Cover. Some liars try to subconsciously distance themselves from their own lies. At such moments, the hand is located next to the ear or even covers it.
  • Through teeth. Sometimes, in order not to let it slip, a liar subconsciously clenches his teeth when talking. But it can also be a common sign of dissatisfaction. Before deciding that this is a gesture of lying, think about the situation the interlocutor is in.


  • Touching the eyes. This gesture is slightly different for men and women. The woman seems to be trying to fix her makeup by running her finger under her eye. And men just rub their eyelids. This is another way to avoid eye contact. But this gesture also has two meanings. The first, as we already know, is a lie. And the second is fatigue from the conversation and the desire to show the interlocutor how tired of looking at him.
  • Neck scratching. This gesture most often looks like this: a person begins to run his hand along the side of his neck or scratch his earlobe. Most often, this gesture is repeated several times and the number of repetitions reaches 5 times. This gesture demonstrates the liar's doubts. For example, you told a person something, and he replied: “Yes, yes, I understand” or “I agree,” and at the same time scratched his ear or neck. This shows that he actually doubts your words or simply did not understand you.
  • « It’s become stuffy”. When a person lies, he gets excited and sweats a lot. Because of this, he sometimes becomes hot, and he begins to pull at the collar of his shirt or sweater, as people do in extreme heat. With this gesture he tries to distract himself from the conversation that worries him. But be careful, if your interlocutor is angry or upset, with this gesture he may be trying to come to his senses and cool down. How can you understand what state your interlocutor is in? Is he simply holding back his emotions or lying? The surest way is to ask him again. At the same time, the liar will most likely hesitate and remain silent for a while, trying to understand whether you saw through his lie or not. And an excited or angry person will immediately repeat what was said, while his voice will tremble or his facial expressions will show his feelings.
  • Baby gesture. Liars often subconsciously put their fingers in their mouths. So they try to get rid of the feeling of guilt and move back to a time when everyone cared about them and looked after them. This is how a liar seeks your help and forgiveness. It’s as if he’s trying to say: “Yes, I’m lying, but I’m so harmless and I’m ashamed, so don’t be angry, please.”


How a person behaves when he lies: psychology

While observing your interlocutor, pay attention to the left half of his body. The reason is that it is the left side of the body that is responsible for emotions. So if you want to understand whether a person is telling the truth, look at his left hand, half of his face or leg. Our brain controls the right side of the body most. And the left is often beyond our control. The fact is that even if a lie is invented in advance, a person thinks most of all about his words, and not about emotions and gestures. Therefore, the left side, which is most associated with emotions, can give away his true feelings and intentions.

For example, if a liar is nervous, his left leg or arm will involuntarily sway back and forth. The left hand will make strange circular gestures, and the left leg may begin to draw strange signs on the asphalt or floor.

Researchers have found that each hemisphere of the body controls its half of the body. The right hemisphere is responsible for emotions, feelings and imagination. And the left is for intelligence and speech. Nature has arranged it so that each hemisphere controls the “opposite” part of the body. That is, the left hemisphere controls the right part of the body, and the left, on the contrary, controls the right.

That is why it turns out that it is the right side of the body that lends itself to more conscious control. This is the reason for one of the main signs of a liar - asymmetry, when the right side of the body tries to remain calm or express the “correct” emotion, and the left side of the body contradicts this.


How to recognize lies in correspondence, text messages, over the phone?

During correspondence, it is especially easy to hide the truth, because we cannot hear the voice of the interlocutor or see his face. Most often, people lie about their plans. Situations are especially common when someone promises that they will be “in 5 minutes”, but at the same time is half an hour late. In addition to such situations, according to research, only 11 percent of messages contain deception and only 5 people out of all 164 subjects turned out to be real liars, and half of their correspondence was deception. So meeting a habitual liar on social media. networks are not easy. Here are a few signs that will help you identify such a person, or simply figure out that your interlocutor is not telling something.

  • Using the words "that woman" or "that man". By talking about someone in this way, the interlocutor is trying to hide the fact of intimacy or deliberately reduce the significance of this person in his life.
  • If the interlocutor told you about many unusual events in his life, and you doubt their veracity, do the following. After some time, ask the person to talk about the same incidents, but in reverse order. For example, your pen pal told you a long story about how he went to visit his millionaire uncle. After a couple of days, ask him: “Excuse me, remember you told me about your uncle? So how did it all end? Big party? What happened before that? I forgot something...” This is a joke example. But the method works. After all, a liar, after some time, will forget about the sequence in which he lied and will definitely mix something up.
  • Too many little things. If a person talks about some long-ago event in numerous details, then most likely he wants to deceive you. Agree, we sometimes don’t remember in detail what we did yesterday. And if a person remembers almost every minute of some last year’s event, then something is clearly wrong. Most often, a liar will use an overly detailed story about something to give you the illusion that what he is saying is true.
  • Half-truth. Sometimes people only talk about part of their life. If he is a man, he may only talk about the positive aspects of his life to impress you.
  • Excuses and slurred speech. In this case, the liar does not give a direct answer or begins to answer using vague or abstract expressions. The words “maybe”, “somehow”, “we’ll see”, “time will tell” are also used for excuses. This situation often arises when one of the interlocutors on social media. network gives advice to another. And this person does not want to follow the advice, but in order not to offend the interlocutor, he makes a vague promise that contains the words given above.


10 mistakes of a liar

Even an experienced liar can make a mistake and show the inconsistency of his words and thoughts. Usually we don't pay attention to such small oddities in behavior. But they are precisely the signals of untruth. Here are the 10 most common mistakes liars make.

  • Emotion on the face disappears and appears suddenly and sharply. A person seems to “turn on” a certain expression on his face, and then just as suddenly “turns off” it. You can train a certain facial expression, even learn to pretend to be sad or happy quite realistically. But what liars most often forget is the amount of time that an emotion should usually remain on the face. With the rarest exception, an emotion, once it has appeared, cannot suddenly disappear in a couple of seconds. Also, even if a liar knows about this, it is unlikely that at the right moment he will be able to simultaneously select words, make the right facial expression, and hold this expression for the right amount of time. Most likely, the liar will pay more attention to the first two aspects, but he simply will not have the strength left for the last.
  • Contradiction of words and facial expressions. The man said: “I like it,” but when he said these words his face was indifferent? So the lie is obvious. Even if a person smiles later, this will not add sincerity to his words. Only if emotions and words are simultaneous are they true.
  • Contradiction of gestures and words. The same rule applies to moments when one thing is said, but body language says something else. For example, if someone says: “Yes, I’m very glad,” and at the same time his arms are crossed on his chest and his back is slouched, then he is definitely lying. When showing joy, only the mouth smiles. Usually a sincere smile consists not only of stretched lips, but also of the expression of the eyes. If a person smiles only with his mouth, but his eyes are not squinted, then this smile is simply insincere.
  • Attempts to isolate oneself. During a conversation, a person involuntarily tries to place some objects between you. This could be a book, a cup, or hands placed on the table. In this way, the liar creates additional distance between you. Therefore, he becomes calmer, because... he subconsciously thinks that the further you are from him, the less you understand him.
  • Speech rate. Some liars are afraid that they will be exposed. For this reason, even having started the story slowly, they then speed up the pace of their speech in order to quickly finish the story and get out of a stressful situation.
    Liars are also characterized by pauses in speech. During such small and frequent pauses, they look at you, trying to understand whether they believe them or not.
  • Words-repetitions. If a person is suddenly asked about what he wants to hide, he will most likely first repeat your question, and then begin to answer. This way he will give himself time to collect his thoughts and come up with a more or less plausible answer. Here is an example of such repetition. “What did you do last night” – “Last night I...” or even “Are you asking what I did last night? Well, I…"


  • Excessive brevity or detail. If a liar wants to deceive you, then he can go to two extremes. The first of them is a very detailed story with many unnecessary details. If a woman who is a liar tells you about a party she supposedly attended last week, she may even “remember” the colors and styles of all the dresses of the women who gathered for the party. And the second extreme is excessive brevity. A liar sometimes gives a short and vague answer, the truth of which is difficult to verify due to lack of information. True, some liars combine both of these extremes. To begin with, they give you a short and abstract answer to the question and test your reaction. If you express distrust, then they begin to bombard you with a bunch of unnecessary and meaningless details.
  • The best defense is offense. Some liars, if you express doubt about their words, will immediately rush to attack you. They will start asking questions like this in an aggressive manner: “Who do you take me for? Do you doubt me? I thought we were friends / you love me...” etc. In this way, liars move the conversation to another topic and force you to make excuses. Such an aggressive defense against a liar can follow a simple question that he simply does not want to answer. One more example. “Daughter, where were you last night while I was working?” - “Mom, I’m already 17, and you control me! I’m tired, you don’t trust me at all!”
  • Paying attention to your behavior. A liar will constantly watch your face and tone of voice. The slightest sign of dissatisfaction or distrust will be a signal for him to change strategy. Seeing how you frown while listening to his story, the liar will immediately begin to make excuses or move on to an aggressive defense. If a person is telling the truth, then most likely he will be so carried away by his story that he will not immediately notice your emotions.


15 ways to spot a lie

  • Watch the emotions and gestures of your interlocutor. From the very first days of meeting you, try to carefully look at how a person shows joy, boredom or sadness. This way you will find out what behavior is typical for a particular person. And strong deviations from this norm will most likely be signals of lies.
  • Pay attention to the timbre of your voice. If you lie, it will most likely become either too high, or slow, or, on the contrary, speed up.
  • Look into your eyes. If the interlocutor, who is usually not particularly shy, begins to look away, then he is unlikely to be telling the truth.
  • Be attentive to the person's lips. Liars often smile inappropriately, either out of relief that you believed them or to relieve stress. Of course, this does not apply to people who are used to smiling often simply because they are cheerful.
  • Check to see if the interlocutor who is answering an important question has a “stony expression on his face.” If a person is not characterized by unemotionality, then the sudden disappearance of all feelings from the face should be alarming. Most likely the interlocutor is afraid to give himself away. Therefore, he simply suppresses all his emotions through an effort of will.
  • Check if your interlocutor is experiencing “micro muscle tension”. This slight facial tension that appears for a couple of seconds is also a sign of lying.
  • Notice whether the person turns red or pale. Complexion cannot be controlled. It is a sign of excitement. And if a person is telling the truth, then why should he worry?
  • Notice if the person's lips quiver. If this is so, but there are no obvious reasons for concern, then he is lying.


  • Look at how often your interlocutor blinks. This is also a sign of excessive anxiety. If such a sign appears when answering a neutral question, then the person is most likely worried because he is lying.
  • Look at your interlocutor's pupils. Some psychologists believe that a person's pupils dilate when he is telling a lie.
  • Learn the gestures most often made by those who tell lies.: a person rubs his eyes, covers his mouth, scratches his nose, touches his face with his hands, and often pulls down his shirt collar.
  • Remember to compare the person's reactions to know when their behavior will change. Compare how a person behaves in similar situations to learn his habits. And when he does something that is out of character for him, think carefully about his words. They may contain lies.
  • Pay attention to details. If a person begins to behave strangely and get nervous for no reason, take a closer look at his behavior.
  • Pay attention to the left side of the body. It is associated with a person's emotions and is more difficult to control. Therefore, if the right side of the body “contradicts” the left, then there is a possibility that the interlocutor is hiding something.
  • Don’t make hasty conclusions and don’t rush to blame a person. Before this, watch him even more carefully, and it is best if you draw conclusions while maintaining a sober mind.

The ability to distinguish truth from lies is a skill necessary for every modern person. This ability will be easier to acquire if you communicate more often with different people and at the same time be attentive to your interlocutors. Then the ability to analyze facial expressions and gestures will appear on your own.


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