Humorous children's stories. The best children's books with humor and adventure

List of modern books Russian writers. Books for children 7-10 and 10-14 years old

I don't want to charm modern schoolchildren: find out what is fashionable now, insert mentions of some things or cool words. I want to tell stories that happen to every generation - in any country and in any era. How to Read to Children - You've been writing children's books for 25 years. But parents complain that it is now difficult to captivate children with any kind of reading. — Children always read, but now it’s really more difficult to get them interested in books, because there are computer games, dozens of TV channels. But if it works, they become real readers - just like we were in our time. Children need to read at night; my wife and I always told our children some...

Create a tradition oral histories!

List of books for children entering second grade.

Discussion

Thanks for the list. We are studying according to the primary school system of the 21st century, and we have already re-read everything that was assigned to us. We just can’t tear ourselves away from the books, let’s take note of new works.

I also constantly shop at ozone))) I bought textbooks for my son for school.

3 bedtime stories for children

Well, give up this desire, and you will get a bun or gingerbread - whatever you want. Vasya thought: I don’t have to learn to read right now, I’ll still have time, but I want to eat a bun this very minute. And he says: “Okay, I refuse.” Get Vasya your favorite poppy seed bun and chocolate icing and went on. In the land of sweet buns, everything is so interesting and beautiful: trees, flowers, playgrounds with swings, houses, slides, ladders. Vasya looked at everything and climbed everywhere. I wanted to eat again. He sees another counter with sweets. He came up. The saleswoman asks: “Do you want a bun?” - Want. I just don't have any money. “And we don’t sell for money, but for skills.” - How is this a skill? - do not understand...

Discussion

The article is simply SUPERB!!! I am delighted! The main thing is very interesting and the child improved, the fairy tale made him think and draw the right conclusions. Especially the fairy tale about Vika, I would have cried too... very instructive!

We had a dog - a black medium poodle Timofey. He died ten years ago, but to our great joy he left us with pleasant memories of what he did when he was little.

Strange as it may seem, Nosov’s book “Dunno and His Friends”, “Dunno in the Sunny City”, and “Dunno on the Moon” can be considered a children’s book. fantastic work. Younger schoolchildren like children's adventure tales from books by Russian authors by Sofia Prokofieva, Eduard Uspensky, fantasy stories and stories by Kir Bulychev. For boys in their early teens, you can offer Tolkien's The Hobbit, after which (at a slightly older age) you can move on to reading the world-famous Lord of the Rings trilogy by the same author. An important role in the...

Discussion

On the eve of the holidays, in most schools, students are given very extensive reading lists, which each of them must complete by the beginning of the school year.
...Books about suffering and fortitude can support a child whose mental strength exhausted in the fight against life's troubles (for example, problems with peers, the pain of first love, parents' divorce, etc.) You should not neglect “lightweight” literature. Lyrical "ladies' reading" develops normal sensual femininity in girls. And entertaining and humorous stories help sick children come to terms with temporary inactivity. It is clear that there can be no talk of any universal advice. There are simply books that are best for reading in childhood: very light, simple and cheerful tales of Rodari, “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” by Raspe and, oddly enough, the works of Hemingway, with all their complexity. Besides...

Very strange article. I didn’t like it, as did many who unsubscribed earlier...

Competition at school expressive reading prose work. I think in the humorous direction, because it makes it more interesting to listen to. The child is 7 years old. Tell me, who, besides Nosov (read out), has short stories? Thank you.

Hello, is this the lost and found office? – asked a child’s voice. - Yes baby. Have you lost something? - I lost my mother. Isn't it with you? - What kind of mother is she? - She is beautiful and kind. And she also loves cats very much. - Yes, just yesterday we found one mother, maybe it’s yours. Where are you calling from? - From orphanage No. 3. - Okay, we will send your mother to you in Orphanage. Wait. She entered his room, the most beautiful and kindest, and in her hands was a real live cat. - Mother! – the baby shouted and rushed to her. He...

Discussion

And I cried so much. So all this is vital, truthful - this is exactly how a child dreams, this is exactly how, with manic persistence, we adopt.

Eh, and about me no one heavenly office didn't call. Well, so that there is an ideal man, love, luck, and most importantly - endless cash flow. And I did everything like in a fairy tale (I’m crying)

The topic of reading has been raised many times already, with different sides was discussed. I will also contribute. I also have a child who doesn’t read well. But here it is: I fell for humorous books. He reads it with pleasure and asks for more. Funny stories, stories. Anecdotes generally come first. Even the problem of magazines discussed below is like this: people read mainly jokes and funny stories from them, and everything else, including comics, is simply a free supplement to these jokes. In general, I'm glad...

Discussion

I also remembered: N. Dumbadze, “Me, Grandma, Iliko and Illarion”

In the new season 2004-05 at the Central House of Artists with literary subscription No. 4 for young people. Schoolchildren, called “The Most Incredible,” will read both Dragunsky’s “Deniska’s Stories” and “Little Baba Yaga” by Preysler. Highly recommend. When will the son hear
good works performed by professionals will make him want to read them all the more.
Or you can go further: buy subscription No. 3 “Through the pages of your favorite books.” Although it is intended for grades 5-7, we bought it :-)
Gogol's "The Night Before Christmas", Seton-Thompson's "Tales of Animals", Hugo's "Les Miserables", Hauff's "Dwarf Nose" will not leave anyone indifferent. Let the child like these books first, and then he will read them himself.

Girls, please advise me for the competition, my son is 10 years old. I don’t like poetry myself and I don’t know which author writes the funny stuff :(

The child will have to audition for drama school. You need to read the verse. So that it is not long, beautiful, interesting and memorable. level as for an adult. Maybe one of your favorites?

Discussion

Vladimir Volkodav - Mute:

One day, on a fine May day,
A passerby fell on the street,
Fell absurdly, straight into the mud,
Everyone pointed and laughed...

And they floated past the faces.
They grumbled - you have to get so drunk!
And he looked pleadingly at everyone,
Trying to get up, and laughing and... sin.

He mumbled unclear words...
Gray head in blood...
Mud was dripping from my face,
People were whispering around - “redneck”, “scum”...

And they walked around
Proud in my soul, I am not like that!
And spitting in disgust,
Afraid to get dirty in the mud.

Others simply hide their gaze,
They walked past, as if they were in a hurry...
Lift it?... God forbid!
He's like an animal, in the mud.
***
So hour after hour passed,
The sunset has already faded...
In the dead of night there is only a patrol,
I noticed a sack in a dirty puddle...

Disgustedly kicked with a boot,
Get up, drunk... the basement is your home.
Didn't notice the blue lips...
He didn’t answer... he was a CORPSE...

***
The gray-haired man was not drunk,
The aching heart was squeezed by a trap,
Fate smiles,
He was pushed straight into the dirt...

In vain, he tried to get up,
In vain, he tried to call,
Pressed down by pain like a wall...
But here's the problem... he was Mute...
***
And maybe one of us
I've seen this more than once,
Melting a vile grin,
Maybe they will help... but not me...

So who are we... people... or not?
The question is simple - the answer is not simple.
Loving the laws of the jungle,
Where everyone is only for themselves.
***
One fine day in May
A passerby fell on the street...

To become a man, it’s not enough for him to be born Mikhail Lvov

Have you noticed that many children really like various kinds of theatrical performances? In learning to read, when the stage of reading individual words and phrases has already been passed, reading simple sentences It’s not inspiring, and the texts are still a bit difficult to read; short dialogues help a lot. They can be read by role (with the teacher, with the mother, with fellow students in the study group), or they can be read alone in different voices. We read both poetry and prose. Now, for example, I’m making a book to read based on Suteev – “The Mouse and...

Discussion

Oleg Grigoriev.

I carried it home
A bag of sweets.
And here towards me
Neighbour.
He took off his beret:
- ABOUT! Hello!
What are you carrying?
- A bag of sweets.
- What - sweets?
- So - sweets.
- And the compote?
- There is no compote.
- No compote
And it is not necessary…
Are they made of chocolate?
- Yes, they are made of chocolate.
- Fine,
I am very happy.
I love chocolate.
Give me some candy.
- For candy.
- And that one, and that one, and that one...
Beauty! Delicious!
And this one, and that one...
No more?
- No more.
- Well hello.
- Well hello.
- Well hello.

L. Mironova
- Where is the apple, Andryusha?
- Apple? I've been eating for a long time.
- You didn't wash it, it seems.
- I peeled the skin off of him!
- Well done you have become!
- I've been like this for a long time.
- Where to clean things up?
- Ah... cleaning... ate it too.

S.V. Mikhalkov Kittens.
Our kittens were born -
There are exactly five of them.
We decided, we wondered:
What should we name the kittens?
Finally we named them:
ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE.

ONCE - the kitten is the whitest,
TWO - the kitten is the bravest,
THREE - the kitten is the smartest,
And FOUR is the noisiest.

FIVE - similar to THREE and TWO -
The same tail and head
The same spot on the back,
He also sleeps all day in a basket.

Our kittens are good -
ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE!
Come visit us guys
View and count

Singing is great! B.Zakhoder
- Hello, Vova!
- How are your lessons?
- Not ready...
You know, bad cat
Doesn't let me study!
I just sat down at the table,
I hear: “Meow...” - “What have you come for?
Leave! - I shout to the cat. -
I already... can't bear it!
You see, I'm busy with science,
So scurry and don’t meow!”
He then climbed onto the chair,
He pretended to fall asleep.
Well, he cleverly pretended -
It’s almost like he’s sleeping! -
But you can't fool me...
“Oh, are you sleeping? Now you will get up!
You are smart and I am smart!”
Strike him by the tail!
- And he?
- He scratched my hands,
He pulled the tablecloth off the table,
I spilled all the ink on the floor,
I stained all my notebooks
And he slipped out the window!
I'm ready to forgive the cat
I feel sorry for them cats.
But why do they say
As if it's my fault?
I told my mother openly:
“This is just slander!
You should try it yourself
Hold the cat’s tail!”

Fedul, why are you pouting your lips?
- I burned the caftan.
-You can sew it up.
-Yes, there is no needle.
-Is the hole big?
-One gate left.

I caught a bear!
- So lead me here!
-It doesn't go.
-Then go yourself!
- He won’t let me in!

Where are you going, Foma?
Where are you going?
-I'm going to mow hay,
-What do you need hay for?
-Feed the cows.
-What do you want about cows?
- Milk.
-Why milk?
-Feed the kids.

Hello pussy, how are you?
Why did you leave us?
- I can’t live with you,
There's nowhere to put the tail
Walk, yawn
You step on the tail. Meow!

V. Orlov
Theft.
- Kra! - the crow screams.
Theft! Guard! Robbery! The missing!
The thief sneaked in early in the morning!
He stole the penny from his pocket!
Pencil! Cardboard! Traffic jam!
And a beautiful box!
-Stop, crow, shut up!
Shut up, don't shout!
You can't live without deception!
You don't have a pocket!
“How?” the crow jumped
and blinked in surprise
Why didn't you say it before?
Car-r-raul! Car-r-rman stole!

Who is first.

Who offended whom first?
- He me!
- No, he me!
-Who hit whom first?
- He me!
- No, he me!
- You were friends like that before?
- I was friends.
- And I was friends.
- Why didn’t you share?
- I forgot.
- And I forgot.

Fedya! Run to Aunt Olya,
Bring some salt.
- Salt?
- Salt.
- I'm here now.
- Oh, Fedin’s hour is long.
- Well, he finally showed up!
Where have you been running, tomboy?
- Met Mishka and Seryozhka.
- And then?
- We were looking for a cat.
- And then?
- Then they found it.
- And then?
- Let's go to the pond.
- And then?
- We caught pike!
We barely got the evil one out!
- Pike?
- Pike.
- But excuse me, where is the salt?
- What salt?

S.Ya. Marshak

Wolf and fox.

Gray wolf in a dense forest
I met a red fox.

Lisaveta, hello!
- How are you, toothy?

Things are going well.
The head is still intact.

Where have you been?
- On the market.
- What did you buy?
- Pork.

How much did you take?
- A tuft of wool,

Ripped off
Right side
The tail was chewed off in a fight!
- Who bit it off?
- Dogs!

Are you full, dear kumanek?
- I barely dragged my legs!

Thank you all very much for the answers and new ideas!

Dear friends! I recently met most interesting person, a real sorceress - children's writer from Moscow Natalya Osipova. In her creative baggage there is a lot amazing fairy tales, some of which turned into most interesting cartoons, became the basis of beautiful children's books. Natalya Nikolaevna wrote a letter especially for readers of the portal “7ya.ru”. I publish it and invite you to the YouTube channel to watch the video clip “Brilliant Parrot!” With best wishes...

It's a wonderful time - childhood! Carelessness, pranks, games, eternal “whys” and, of course, funny stories from the lives of children - funny, memorable, making you smile involuntarily.

Publicly warned

One mother of a beautiful six-year-old son often had no one to leave her not always obedient child at home with. Therefore, sometimes she takes the baby with her to work (to an exhibition). On one of these days, the driver calls my mother and asks her to pick up some booklets from the checkpoint. She leaves, and strictly orders her son to sit still and not go anywhere. In general, it takes a certain amount of time to find a driver, arrange and pick up booklets, and deliver them to the desired location. And so... Approaching her lady, she sees a bunch of people laughing and taking pictures of something at the stand. My son is not there! But there is a piece of paper A-4 attached to the stand, on which in large letters it says: “I’ll be there soon.” What am I!”

This same mother once asked dad to play with his son while she prepared dinner. After a while, he hears a whining voice from the room: “Dad, I’m tired... Can I go play?” Looking into the room, he sees the following picture: a father lying on the sofa, and a son in full uniform (helmet, cloak, sword), marching back and forth along the sofa. To the question: “What is this?” - my son answers: “Dad and I play King of the Sofa!” Like this funny story about children can not only make you plunge headlong into your own memories.

Shh! Dad is sleeping

And here is another funny story about children from life. One mother left a three-year-old child with his father for just a couple of hours. He comes and sees the following picture: dad is sleeping sweetly on the sofa, wearing a toy from (a bunny and a fox) on both hands. The child covered it with his small blanket, placed a high chair next to it, a cup of juice on it, and an obligatory attribute - a potty near the sofa. He closed the door and sat quietly in the corridor, and showed his mother when she came in: “Shhh! Dad sleeps there."

The child watched a fairy tale about Scheherazade and, impressed by such a magical film, says to his beloved grandmother, who is wearing a robe of oriental colors: “Grandma, what are you, Scheherazade?”

The baby does not eat well, and almost the whole family gathers to feed him. And everyone persuades the capricious boy to eat at least a spoonful. And even the grandfather says: “Don’t worry, grandson! When I was a child, I didn’t eat well, so my mother scolded me for it and even beat me.” To such a sincere confession, the granddaughter replies: “That’s what I see, grandpa, that all your teeth are false...”

Kitty Kitty Kitty

And this is a funny story about children from real life. One grandmother, a former site manager, who did not mince words at work and at home, spent a certain period raising her grandson. One fine day, this couple went to the store, where the grandmother had to stand in a long line. The grandson found this activity boring, and he decided to make friends with the store cat:

Kitty! Kitty, kitty, come here.

The cat, apparently, was not interested in these affections, and he hid under the counter. But the boy is persistent! The boy is persistent! Now he needs to get the cat at any cost:

Kitty, kitty-kitty, come to me, my dear.

The animal has zero reaction.

Kitty, ... fuck, come here to ..., I said, - the childish boyish voice continued. The line burst into laughter, and the grandmother, grabbing her grandson under her arm, quickly retreated. And it seems like I even stopped using swear words.

About home canning

Mom and son were salting and sorting out the broken ones. She threw them down the toilet. The following dialogue took place between her and the child who came out of the toilet:

Mom, stop salting mushrooms!

How is it?

Because you constantly taste them for salt.

And what from this?

So you’ve already started pooping with them! I myself saw them floating in the toilet.

Once upon a time there was a Little Red Riding Hood...

And this funny story is about children, or rather, about the child of one busy dad who recently had the opportunity to put his son to bed. And the baby ordered his dad to tell him an interesting fairy tale for the night, namely your favorite one - about Little Red Riding Hood.

Once upon a time there was a little girl in the world, and her name was Little Red Riding Hood,” the father, who came home from work very tired, began his story.

“She went to visit her beloved grandmother,” he continued, already half asleep, unable to fight sleep himself.

He woke up because his son was indignantly pushing him in the side:

Dad! What were the police doing there and who is Yuri Gagarin?

Where's the child?

A funny story about children from real life about how a careless father forgot his child on a walk. And it was like this. He somehow took the initiative and proudly offered his candidacy for a walk with his five-month-old daughter on the street. Mom, knowing his irresponsibility, told him to take a walk near the house. After an hour and a half, the joyful dad returns, albeit alone. Mom almost turned gray without seeing the stroller with the child. And he, it turns out, met a friend, and since he was smoking, they moved aside so that the child would not breathe in the smoke. And dad forgot while talking about the child. So I came home. I had to urgently run to that place; It's good that everything worked out okay.

Here's a funny story about children in kindergarten. Dad came to the nursery to pick up his child for the first time. The children were still sleeping at that moment, and the teacher, busy with something, asked the dad to dress his child himself, only quietly, so as not to wake up the sleeping kids. In general, the picture that appeared before my mother was this: my beloved daughter in boyish pants, a shirt and someone else’s slippers. All weekend, the shocked woman represented the poor boy who, due to circumstances, had to wear a pink dress. And all because dad confused the chair with clothes.

Funny stories about little children

A 4-year-old daughter comes running to her mother asking if she will be an apple.

Of course,” says the satisfied mother, “did you wash them?”

Only later did the mother realize that the only place where her daughter could wash the fruit was the toilet, because that was the only place the baby could get it.

Funny stories from the lives of children are found at every step, and even in the central department store, where one fine day a mother and her 4-year-old son were walking. They pass by the department for newlyweds.

Mom,” says the baby, “let’s buy you such a beautiful white dress.”

What are you doing, son! This dress is for a bride who is getting married.

“And you will come out, don’t worry,” the boy reassures.

So I'm already married, son.

Yes? - the baby is surprised. - Who did you marry and didn’t tell me?

So this is your dad!

Well, it’s good that it’s not some unfamiliar guy,” the boy said, having calmed down.

Mom, buy a phone

A 5-year-old son asks his mother to buy him a mobile phone.

Why do you need him? - Mom is interested.

“I need it very much,” the boy answers.

So, but still? Why do you need a phone? - the parent asks.

So you and teacher Maria Ivanovna always scold me for not eating well in kindergarten. And so I will call you and tell you to give me cutlets.

No less funny story about children. This time we will remember the conversation between a 4-year-old child and his grandmother.

Grandma, please give birth to a baby, otherwise I have no one to play with. Mom and Dad don't have time.

So how do I give birth? “I won’t be able to give birth to anyone anymore,” the grandmother answers.

A! “I understand,” Roma guessed. - You are a male! I saw the program on TV.

On the path...

Funny stories from the lives of children always bring us back to childhood - light, carefree and so naive!

Before leaving home, teacher Elena Andreevna says to a 3-year-old boy:

We go outside, we will walk there and wait for mom. So go down the path to the toilet.

The boy left and disappeared. The teacher, without waiting for the baby, went in search of him. Going out into the corridor, he sees the following picture: a confused boy stands between the two with an expression of complete bewilderment on his face and says:

Elena Andreevna, did you say which path to go to the toilet on: blue or red?

Here's a funny story about children.

The Motherland is calling!

Funny stories from the lives of children at school also amaze with the unpredictability of students, their antics and resourcefulness. In one class there was a boy named Rodin. And his mother was a teacher at the same school. Once she asked one schoolboy to call her son from class. He flies into the classroom and shouts:

Motherland is calling!

The first reaction of students and teachers is numbness, misunderstanding, fear...

After the words: “Rodin, come out, your mother is calling you,” the class fell under their desks with laughter.

In one school, a teacher dictated an essay to elementary school students based on Prishvin’s work. The meaning was how hard the life of a bunny in the forest is, how everyone offends him, how he has to cold winter get your own food. One day the animal found a rowan bush in the forest and began to eat the berries. Literally, the last phrase of the dictation sounded like this: “The furry animal is full.”

In the evening, the teacher simply cried over her essays. Literally all the students wrote the word “full” with two letters “s”.

At another school, one student constantly wrote the word “walk” with an “o” (“shol”). The teacher got tired of correcting his mistakes all the time, and after lessons she forced the student to write the word “walked” on the board a hundred times. The boy coped with the task perfectly, and at the end he wrote: “I left.”

Interesting stories by Viktor Golyavkin for younger schoolchildren. Stories to read in primary school. extracurricular reading in grades 1-4.

Victor Golyavkin. NOTEBOOKS IN THE RAIN

During recess, Marik says to me:

- Let's run away from class. Look how nice it is outside!

- What if Aunt Dasha is late with the briefcases?

- You need to throw your briefcases out the window.

We looked out the window: it was dry near the wall, but a little further away there was a huge puddle. Don't throw your briefcases into a puddle! We took the belts off the trousers, tied them together and carefully lowered the briefcases onto them. At this time the bell rang. The teacher entered. I had to sit down. The lesson has begun. The rain poured outside the window. Marik writes me a note:

Our notebooks are missing

I answer him:

Our notebooks are missing

He writes to me:

What we are going to do?

I answer him:

What we are going to do?

Suddenly they call me to the board.

“I can’t,” I say, “I have to go to the board.”

“How,” I think, “can I walk without a belt?”

“Go, go, I’ll help you,” says the teacher.

- You don’t need to help me.

-Are you ill by any chance?

“I’m sick,” I say.

— How’s your homework?

— Good with your homework.

The teacher comes up to me.

- Well, show me your notebook.

- What's going on with you?

- You'll have to give it a two.

He opens the magazine and gives me a bad mark, and I think about my notebook, which is now getting wet in the rain.

The teacher gave me a bad grade and calmly said:

- You're kind of strange today...

Victor Golyavkin. THINGS ARE NOT GOING MY WAY

One day I come home from school. That day I just got a bad grade. I walk around the room and sing. I sing and sing so that no one thinks that I got a bad mark. Otherwise they will ask: “Why are you gloomy, why are you thoughtful? »

Father says:

- Why is he singing like that?

And mom says:

“He’s probably in a cheerful mood, so he’s singing.”

Father says:

“I guess I got an A, and that’s a lot of fun for the man.” It's always fun when you do something good.

When I heard this, I sang even louder.

Then the father says:

“Okay, Vovka, please your father and show him the diary.”

Then I immediately stopped singing.

- For what? - I ask.

“I see,” says the father, “you really want to show me the diary.”

He takes the diary from me, sees a deuce there and says:

— Surprisingly, I got a bad mark and is singing! What, is he crazy? Come on, Vova, come here! Do you happen to have a fever?

“I don’t have,” I say, “no fever...

The father spread his hands and said:

- Then you need to be punished for this singing...

That's how unlucky I am!

Victor Golyavkin. THAT'S WHAT'S INTERESTING

When Goga started going to first grade, he knew only two letters: O - circle and T - hammer. That's all. I didn't know any other letters. And I couldn't read.

Grandmother tried to teach him, but he immediately came up with a trick:

- Now, now, grandma, I’ll wash the dishes for you.

And he immediately ran to the kitchen to wash the dishes. And the old grandmother forgot about studying and even bought him gifts for helping him with the housework. And Gogin’s parents were on a long business trip and relied on their grandmother. And of course, they didn’t know that their son still hadn’t learned to read. But Goga often washed the floor and dishes, went to buy bread, and his grandmother praised him in every possible way in letters to his parents. And I read it aloud to him. And Goga, sitting comfortably on the sofa, listened with his eyes closed. “Why should I learn to read,” he reasoned, “if my grandmother reads aloud to me.” He didn't even try.

And in class he dodged as best he could.

The teacher tells him:

- Read it here.

He pretended to read, and he himself told from memory what his grandmother read to him. The teacher stopped him. To the laughter of the class, he said:

“If you want, I’d better close the window so it doesn’t blow.”

“I’m so dizzy that I’m probably going to fall...

He pretended so skillfully that one day his teacher sent him to the doctor. The doctor asked:

- How is your health?

“It’s bad,” said Goga.

- What hurts?

- Well, then go to class.

- Why?

- Because nothing hurts you.

- How do you know?

- How do you know that? - the doctor laughed. And he slightly pushed Goga towards the exit. Goga never pretended to be sick again, but continued to prevaricate.

And the efforts of my classmates came to nothing. First, Masha, an excellent student, was assigned to him.

“Let’s study seriously,” Masha told him.

- When? - asked Goga.

- Yeah right now.

“I’ll come now,” Goga said.

And he left and did not return.

Then Grisha, an excellent student, was assigned to him. They stayed in the classroom. But as soon as Grisha opened the primer, Goga reached under the desk.

- Where are you going? - asked Grisha.

“Come here,” Goga called.

- And here no one will interfere with us.

- Yah you! - Grisha, of course, was offended and left immediately.

No one else was assigned to him.

As time went. He was dodging.

Gogin's parents arrived and found that their son could not read a single line. The father grabbed his head, and the mother grabbed the book she had brought for her child.

“Now every evening,” she said, “I will read this wonderful book aloud to my son.”

Grandmother said:

- Yes, yes, I also read interesting books aloud to Gogochka every evening.

But the father said:

- It was really in vain that you did this. Our Gogochka has become so lazy that he cannot read a single line. I ask everyone to leave for the meeting.

And dad, along with grandmother and mom, left for a meeting. And Goga was at first worried about the meeting, and then calmed down when his mother began to read to him from a new book. And he even shook his legs with pleasure and almost spat on the carpet.

But he didn't know what kind of meeting it was! What was decided there!

So, mom read him a page and a half after the meeting. And he, swinging his legs, naively imagined that this would continue to happen. But when mom stopped really interesting place, he became worried again.

And when she handed him the book, he became even more excited.

He immediately suggested:

- Let me wash the dishes for you, mommy.

And he ran to wash the dishes.

He ran to his father.

His father sternly told him never to make such requests to him again.

He thrust the book to his grandmother, but she yawned and dropped it from her hands. He picked up the book from the floor and gave it to his grandmother again. But she dropped it from her hands again. No, she had never fallen asleep so quickly in her chair before! “Is she really asleep,” thought Goga, “or was she instructed to pretend at the meeting? “Goga tugged at her, shook her, but the grandmother did not even think about waking up.

In despair, he sat down on the floor and began to look at the pictures. But from the pictures it was difficult to understand what was happening there next.

He brought the book to class. But his classmates refused to read to him. Not only that: Masha immediately left, and Grisha defiantly reached under the desk.

Goga pestered the high school student, but he flicked him on the nose and laughed.

That's what a home meeting is all about!

This is what the public means!

He soon read the entire book and many other books, but out of habit he never forgot to go buy bread, wash the floor or wash the dishes.

That's what's interesting!

Victor Golyavkin. IN THE CLOSET

Before class, I climbed into the closet. I wanted to meow from the closet. They'll think it's a cat, but it's me.

I was sitting in the closet, waiting for the lesson to start, and didn’t notice how I fell asleep.

I wake up and the class is quiet. I look through the crack - there is no one. I pushed the door, but it was closed. So, I slept through the entire lesson. Everyone went home, and they locked me in the closet.

It's stuffy in the closet and dark as night. I got scared, I started screaming:

- Uh-uh! I'm in the closet! Help!

I listened - silence all around.

- ABOUT! Comrades! I'm sitting in the closet!

I hear someone's steps. Someone is coming.

- Who's bawling here?

I immediately recognized Aunt Nyusha, the cleaning lady.

I was delighted and shouted:

- Aunt Nyusha, I’m here!

- Where are you, dear?

- I'm in the closet! In the closet!

- How did you get there, my dear?

- I'm in the closet, grandma!

- So I hear that you are in the closet. So what do you want?

- They locked me in a closet. Oh, grandma!

Aunt Nyusha left. Silence again. She probably went to get the key.

Pal Palych knocked on the cabinet with his finger.

“There’s no one there,” said Pal Palych.

- Why not? “Yes,” said Aunt Nyusha.

- Well, where is he? - said Pal Palych and knocked on the closet again.

I was afraid that everyone would leave and I would remain in the closet, and I shouted with all my might:

- I'm here!

- Who are you? - asked Pal Palych.

- I... Tsypkin...

- Why did you climb there, Tsypkin?

- They locked me... I didn’t get in...

- Hm... They locked him up! But he didn’t get in! Have you seen it? What wizards there are in our school! They don't get into the closet when they are locked in the closet. Miracles don’t happen, do you hear, Tsypkin?

- I hear...

- How long have you been sitting there? - asked Pal Palych.

- Don't know...

“Find the key,” said Pal Palych. - Fast.

Aunt Nyusha went to get the key, but Pal Palych stayed behind. He sat down on a chair nearby and began to wait. I saw through

the crack of his face. He was very angry. He lit a cigarette and said:

- Well! This is what prank leads to. Tell me honestly: why are you in the closet?

I really wanted to disappear from the closet. They open the closet, and I’m not there. It was as if I had never been there. They will ask me: “Were you in the closet?” I will say: “I wasn’t.” They will say to me: “Who was there?” I will say: “I don’t know.”

But this only happens in fairy tales! Surely tomorrow they will call mom... Your son, they will say, climbed into the closet, slept there during all classes, and all that... as if it’s comfortable for me to sleep here! My legs ache, my back hurts. One torment! What was my answer?

I was silent.

-Are you alive there? - asked Pal Palych.

- Alive...

- Well, sit down, they will open soon...

- I am sitting...

“So...” said Pal Palych. - So will you answer me why you climbed into this closet?

- Who? Tsypkin? In the closet? Why?

I wanted to disappear again.

The director asked:

- Tsypkin, is that you?

I sighed heavily. I simply couldn't answer anymore.

Aunt Nyusha said:

— The class leader took the key away.

“Break the door,” said the director.

I felt the door being broken down, the closet shook, and I hit my forehead painfully. I was afraid that the cabinet would fall, and I cried. I pressed my hands against the walls of the closet, and when the door gave way and opened, I continued to stand in the same way.

“Well, come out,” said the director. “And explain to us what that means.”

I didn't move. I was scared.

- Why is he standing? - asked the director.

I was pulled out of the closet.

I was silent the whole time.

I didn't know what to say.

I just wanted to meow. But how would I put it...

The boy Yasha always loved to climb everywhere and get into everything. As soon as they brought any suitcase or box, Yasha immediately found himself in it.

And he climbed into all sorts of bags. And into the closets. And under the tables.

Mom often said:

“I’m afraid that if I go to the post office with him, he’ll get into some empty parcel and they’ll send him to Kzyl-Orda.”

He got a lot of trouble for this.

And then Yasha new fashion took it and began to fall from everywhere. When the house heard:

- Uh! – everyone understood that Yasha had fallen from somewhere. And the louder the “uh” was, the greater the altitude from which Yasha flew. For example, mom hears:

- Uh! - that means it’s okay. It was Yasha who simply fell off his stool.

If you hear:

- Uh-uh! - this means the matter is very serious. It was Yasha who fell off the table. We need to go and inspect his lumps. And when visiting, Yasha climbed everywhere, and even tried to climb onto the shelves in the store.

One day dad said:

“Yasha, if you climb anywhere else, I don’t know what I’ll do to you.” I'll tie you to the vacuum cleaner with ropes. And you will walk everywhere with a vacuum cleaner. And you will go to the store with your mother with a vacuum cleaner, and in the yard you will play in the sand tied to the vacuum cleaner.

Yasha was so scared that after these words he didn’t climb anywhere for half a day.

And then he finally climbed onto dad’s table and fell down along with the phone. Dad took it and actually tied it to the vacuum cleaner.

Yasha walks around the house, and the vacuum cleaner follows him like a dog. And he goes to the store with his mother with a vacuum cleaner, and plays in the yard. Very uncomfortable. You can't climb a fence or ride a bike.

But Yasha learned to turn on the vacuum cleaner. Now, instead of “uh”, “uh-uh” began to be heard constantly.

As soon as mom sits down to knit socks for Yasha, suddenly all over the house - “oo-oo-oo”. Mom is jumping up and down.

We decided to come to an amicable agreement. Yasha was untied from the vacuum cleaner. And he promised not to climb anywhere else. Dad said:

– This time, Yasha, I will be stricter. I'll tie you to a stool. And I’ll nail the stool to the floor. And you will live with a stool, like a dog with a kennel.

Yasha was very afraid of such punishment.

But then a very wonderful opportunity turned up - we bought a new wardrobe.

First Yasha climbed into the closet. He sat in the closet for a long time, banging his forehead against the walls. This is an interesting matter. Then I got bored and went out.

He decided to climb onto the closet.

Yasha moved the dining table to the closet and climbed onto it. But I didn’t reach the top of the closet.

Then he placed a light chair on the table. He climbed onto the table, then onto the chair, then onto the back of the chair and began to climb onto the closet. I'm already halfway across.

And then the chair slipped out from under his feet and fell to the floor. And Yasha remained half on the closet, half in the air.

Somehow he climbed onto the closet and fell silent. Try telling your mom:

- Oh, mom, I’m sitting on the closet!

Mom will immediately transfer him to a stool. And he will live like a dog all his life near the stool.

Here he sits and is silent. Five minutes, ten minutes, five more minutes. All in all, whole month almost. And Yasha slowly began to cry.

And mom hears: Yasha can’t hear something.

And if you can’t hear Yasha, it means Yasha is doing something wrong. Or he chews matches, or he climbed up to his knees into the aquarium, or he draws Cheburashka on his father’s papers.

Mom started looking in different places. And in the closet, and in the nursery, and in dad’s office. And there is order everywhere: dad works, the clock is ticking. And if there is order everywhere, it means that something difficult must have happened to Yasha. Something extraordinary.

Mom screams:

- Yasha, where are you?

But Yasha is silent.

- Yasha, where are you?

But Yasha is silent.

Then mom started thinking. He sees a chair lying on the floor. He sees that the table is not in place. He sees Yasha sitting on the closet.

Mom asks:

- Well, Yasha, are you going to sit on the closet all your life now, or are we going to climb down?

Yasha doesn't want to go down. He is afraid that he will be tied to a stool.

He says:

- I won’t get down.

Mom says:

- Okay, let's live on the closet. Now I'll bring you lunch.

She brought Yasha soup in a plate, a spoon and bread, and a small table and a stool.

Yasha was having lunch on the closet.

Then his mother brought him a potty on the closet. Yasha was sitting on the potty.

And in order to wipe his butt, mom had to stand on the table herself.

At this time, two boys came to visit Yasha.

Mom asks:

- Well, should you serve Kolya and Vitya for the cupboard?

Yasha says:

- Serve.

And then dad couldn’t stand it from his office:

“Now I’ll come and visit him at his closet.” Not just one, but with a strap. Remove it from the cabinet immediately.

They took Yasha out of the closet, and he said:

“Mom, the reason I didn’t get off is because I’m afraid of the stool.” Dad promised to tie me to the stool.

“Oh, Yasha,” says mom, “you’re still little.” You don't understand jokes. Go play with the guys.

But Yasha understood jokes.

But he also understood that dad didn’t like to joke.

He can easily tie Yasha to a stool. And Yasha didn’t climb anywhere else.

Yasha was good to everyone, but he ate poorly. All the time with concerts. Either mom sings to him, then dad shows him tricks. And he gets along well:

- Don't want.

Mom says:

- Yasha, eat your porridge.

- Don't want.

Dad says:

- Yasha, drink juice!

- Don't want.

Mom and Dad are tired of trying to persuade him every time. And then my mother read in one scientific pedagogical book that children do not need to be persuaded to eat. You need to put a plate of porridge in front of them and wait until they get hungry and eat everything.

They set and placed plates in front of Yasha, but he didn’t eat or eat anything. He doesn’t eat cutlets, soup, or porridge. He became thin and dead, like a straw.

- Yasha, eat your porridge!

- Don't want.

- Yasha, eat your soup!

- Don't want.

Previously, his pants were difficult to fasten, but now he was hanging out completely freely in them. It was possible to put another Yasha in these pants.

And then one day a strong wind blew.

And Yasha was playing in the area. He was very light, and the wind blew him around the area. I rolled to the wire mesh fence. And there Yasha got stuck.

So he sat, pressed against the fence by the wind, for an hour.

Mom calls:

- Yasha, where are you? Go home and suffer with the soup.

But he doesn't come. You can't even hear him. He not only became dead, but his voice also became dead. You can't hear anything about him squeaking there.

And he squeaks:

- Mom, take me away from the fence!

Mom began to worry - where did Yasha go? Where to look for it? Yasha is neither seen nor heard.

Dad said this:

“I think our Yasha was blown away somewhere by the wind.” Come on, mom, we'll take the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind will blow and bring the smell of soup to Yasha. He will come crawling to this delicious smell.

Current page: 1 (book has 3 pages in total) [available reading passage: 1 pages]

Eduard Uspensky
Funny stories for children

© Uspensky E. N., 2013

© Ill., Oleynikov I. Yu., 2013

© Ill., Pavlova K. A., 2013

© AST Publishing House LLC, 2015

* * *

About the boy Yasha

How the boy Yasha climbed everywhere

The boy Yasha always loved to climb everywhere and get into everything. As soon as they brought any suitcase or box, Yasha immediately found himself in it.

And he climbed into all sorts of bags. And into the closets. And under the tables.

Mom often said:

“I’m afraid that if I go to the post office with him, he’ll get into some empty parcel and they’ll send him to Kzyl-Orda.”

He got a lot of trouble for this.

And then Yasha took on a new fashion - he began to fall from everywhere. When the house heard:

- Uh! – everyone understood that Yasha had fallen from somewhere. And the louder the “uh” was, the greater the altitude from which Yasha flew. For example, mom hears:

- Uh! - that means it’s okay. It was Yasha who simply fell off his stool.

If you hear:

- Uh-uh! - this means the matter is very serious. It was Yasha who fell off the table. We need to go and inspect his lumps. And when visiting, Yasha climbed everywhere, and even tried to climb onto the shelves in the store.

One day dad said:

“Yasha, if you climb anywhere else, I don’t know what I’ll do to you.” I'll tie you to the vacuum cleaner with ropes. And you will walk everywhere with a vacuum cleaner. And you will go to the store with your mother with a vacuum cleaner, and in the yard you will play in the sand tied to the vacuum cleaner.

Yasha was so scared that after these words he didn’t climb anywhere for half a day.

And then he finally climbed onto dad’s table and fell down along with the phone. Dad took it and actually tied it to the vacuum cleaner.

Yasha walks around the house, and the vacuum cleaner follows him like a dog. And he goes to the store with his mother with a vacuum cleaner, and plays in the yard. Very uncomfortable. You can't climb a fence or ride a bike.

But Yasha learned to turn on the vacuum cleaner. Now, instead of “uh”, “uh-uh” began to be heard constantly.

As soon as mom sits down to knit socks for Yasha, suddenly all over the house - “oo-oo-oo”. Mom is jumping up and down.

We decided to come to an amicable agreement. Yasha was untied from the vacuum cleaner. And he promised not to climb anywhere else. Dad said:

– This time, Yasha, I will be stricter. I'll tie you to a stool. And I’ll nail the stool to the floor. And you will live with a stool, like a dog with a kennel.

Yasha was very afraid of such punishment.

But then a very wonderful opportunity turned up - we bought a new wardrobe.

First Yasha climbed into the closet. He sat in the closet for a long time, banging his forehead against the walls. This is an interesting matter. Then I got bored and went out.

He decided to climb onto the closet.

Yasha moved the dining table to the closet and climbed onto it. But I didn’t reach the top of the closet.

Then he placed a light chair on the table. He climbed onto the table, then onto the chair, then onto the back of the chair and began to climb onto the closet. I'm already halfway across.

And then the chair slipped out from under his feet and fell to the floor. And Yasha remained half on the closet, half in the air.

Somehow he climbed onto the closet and fell silent. Try telling your mom:

- Oh, mom, I’m sitting on the closet!

Mom will immediately transfer him to a stool. And he will live like a dog all his life near the stool.

Here he sits and is silent. Five minutes, ten minutes, five more minutes. In general, almost a whole month. And Yasha slowly began to cry.

And mom hears: Yasha can’t hear something.

And if you can’t hear Yasha, it means Yasha is doing something wrong. Or he chews matches, or he climbed up to his knees into the aquarium, or he draws Cheburashka on his father’s papers.

Mom started looking in different places. And in the closet, and in the nursery, and in dad’s office. And there is order everywhere: dad works, the clock is ticking. And if there is order everywhere, it means that something difficult must have happened to Yasha. Something extraordinary.

Mom screams:

- Yasha, where are you?

But Yasha is silent.

- Yasha, where are you?

But Yasha is silent.

Then mom started thinking. He sees a chair lying on the floor. He sees that the table is not in place. He sees Yasha sitting on the closet.

Mom asks:

- Well, Yasha, are you going to sit on the closet all your life now, or are we going to climb down?

Yasha doesn't want to go down. He is afraid that he will be tied to a stool.

He says:

- I won’t get down.

Mom says:

- Okay, let's live on the closet. Now I'll bring you lunch.

She brought Yasha soup in a plate, a spoon and bread, and a small table and a stool.

Yasha was having lunch on the closet.

Then his mother brought him a potty on the closet. Yasha was sitting on the potty.

And in order to wipe his butt, mom had to stand on the table herself.

At this time, two boys came to visit Yasha.

Mom asks:

- Well, should you serve Kolya and Vitya for the cupboard?

Yasha says:

- Serve.

And then dad couldn’t stand it from his office:

“Now I’ll come and visit him at his closet.” Not just one, but with a strap. Remove it from the cabinet immediately.

They took Yasha out of the closet, and he said:

“Mom, the reason I didn’t get off is because I’m afraid of the stool.” Dad promised to tie me to the stool.

“Oh, Yasha,” says mom, “you’re still little.” You don't understand jokes. Go play with the guys.

But Yasha understood jokes.

But he also understood that dad didn’t like to joke.

He can easily tie Yasha to a stool. And Yasha didn’t climb anywhere else.

How the boy Yasha ate poorly

Yasha was good to everyone, but he ate poorly. All the time with concerts. Either mom sings to him, then dad shows him tricks. And he gets along well:

- Don't want.

Mom says:

- Yasha, eat your porridge.

- Don't want.

Dad says:

- Yasha, drink juice!

- Don't want.

Mom and Dad are tired of trying to persuade him every time. And then my mother read in one scientific pedagogical book that children do not need to be persuaded to eat. You need to put a plate of porridge in front of them and wait until they get hungry and eat everything.

They set and placed plates in front of Yasha, but he didn’t eat or eat anything. He doesn’t eat cutlets, soup, or porridge. He became thin and dead, like a straw.

- Yasha, eat your porridge!

- Don't want.

- Yasha, eat your soup!

- Don't want.

Previously, his pants were difficult to fasten, but now he was hanging out completely freely in them. It was possible to put another Yasha in these pants.

And then one day a strong wind blew.

And Yasha was playing in the area. He was very light, and the wind blew him around the area. I rolled to the wire mesh fence. And there Yasha got stuck.

So he sat, pressed against the fence by the wind, for an hour.

Mom calls:

- Yasha, where are you? Go home and suffer with the soup.

But he doesn't come. You can't even hear him. He not only became dead, but his voice also became dead. You can't hear anything about him squeaking there.

And he squeaks:

- Mom, take me away from the fence!

Mom began to worry - where did Yasha go? Where to look for it? Yasha is neither seen nor heard.

Dad said this:

“I think our Yasha was blown away somewhere by the wind.” Come on, mom, we'll take the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind will blow and bring the smell of soup to Yasha. He will come crawling to this delicious smell.

And so they did. They took the pot of soup out onto the porch. The wind carried the smell to Yasha.

Yasha, how I smelled it delicious soup, immediately crawled towards the smell. Because I was cold and lost a lot of strength.

He crawled, crawled, crawled for half an hour. But I achieved my goal. He came to his mother’s kitchen and immediately ate a whole pot of soup! How can he eat three cutlets at once? How can he drink three glasses of compote?

Mom was amazed. She didn't even know whether to be happy or sad. She says:

“Yasha, if you eat like this every day, I won’t have enough food.”

Yasha reassured her:

- No, mom, I won’t eat that much every day. This is me correcting past mistakes. I will, like all children, eat well. I'll be a completely different boy.

He wanted to say “I will,” but he came up with “bubu.” Do you know why? Because his mouth was stuffed with an apple. He couldn't stop.

Since then, Yasha has been eating well.

Cook boy Yasha stuffed everything into his mouth

The boy Yasha had this strange habit: whatever he saw, he immediately put it in his mouth. If he sees a button, put it in his mouth. If he sees dirty money, put it in his mouth. He sees a nut lying on the ground and also tries to stuff it into his mouth.

- Yasha, this is very harmful! Well, spit out this piece of iron.

Yasha argues and doesn’t want to spit it out. I have to force it all out of his mouth. At home they began to hide everything from Yasha.

And buttons, and thimbles, and small toys, and even lighters. There was simply nothing left to stuff into a person’s mouth.

What about on the street? You can’t clean everything on the street...

And when Yasha arrives, dad takes tweezers and takes everything out of Yasha’s mouth:

- Coat button - one.

- Beer cap - two.

– A chrome screw from a Volvo car – three.

One day dad said:

- All. We will treat Yasha, we will save Yasha. We'll cover his mouth with an adhesive plaster.

And they really began to do so. Yasha is getting ready to go outside - they will put a coat on him, tie his shoes, and then they shout:

- Where did our adhesive plaster go?

When they find the adhesive plaster, they will stick such a strip on Yasha’s half of his face - and walk as much as you want. You can't put anything in your mouth anymore. Very comfortably.

Only for parents, not for Yasha.

How is it for Yasha? The children ask him:

- Yasha, are you going to ride on the swing?

Yasha says:

- On what kind of swing, Yasha, rope or wooden?

Yasha wants to say: “Of course, on ropes. What am I, a fool?

And he succeeds:

- Bubu-bu-bu-bukh. Bo bang bang?

- What, what? - the children ask.

- Bo bang bang? - Yasha says and runs to the ropes.

One girl, very pretty, with a runny nose, Nastya asked Yasha:

- Yafa, Yafenka, will you come to me for fen day?

He wanted to say: “I’ll come, of course.”

But he answered:

- Boo-boo-boo, bonefno.

Nastya will cry:

- Why is he teasing?

And Yasha was left without Nastenka’s birthday.

And there they served ice cream.

But Yasha no longer brought home any buttons, nuts, or empty perfume bottles.

One day Yasha came from the street and firmly told his mother:

- Baba, I won’t baboo!

And although Yasha had an adhesive plaster on his mouth, his mother understood everything.

And you guys also understood everything he said. Is it true?

How the boy Yasha ran around the shops all the time

When mom came to the store with Yasha, she usually held Yasha’s hand. And Yasha kept getting out of it.

At first it was easy for mom to hold Yasha.

She had her hands free. But when the purchases appeared in her hands, Yasha got out more and more.

And when he got completely out of it, he started running around the store. First across the store, then further and further along.

Mom caught him all the time.

But one day my mother’s hands were completely full. She bought fish, beets and bread. This is where Yasha started to run away. And how he will crash into one old lady! Grandma just sat down.

And the grandmother in her hands had a semi-rag suitcase with potatoes. How the suitcase opens! How the potatoes will crumble! The whole store began collecting it for grandma and putting it in a suitcase. And Yasha also began to bring potatoes.

One uncle felt very sorry for the old lady, he put an orange in her suitcase. Huge, like a watermelon.

And Yasha felt embarrassed that he sat his grandmother down on the floor; he put his most expensive toy gun in her suitcase.

The gun was a toy, but just like a real one. You could even use it to kill anyone you wanted for real. Just for fun. Yasha never parted with him. He even slept with this gun.

In general, all the people saved the grandmother. And she went somewhere.

Yasha’s mother raised him for a long time. She said that he would destroy my mother. That mom is ashamed to look people in the eyes. And Yasha promised not to run like that again. And they went to another store for sour cream. Only Yasha’s promises did not last long in Yasha’s head. And he started running again.

At first a little, then more and more. And it must happen that the old woman came to the same store to buy margarine. She walked slowly and did not appear there right away.

As soon as she appeared, Yasha immediately crashed into her.

The old woman didn’t even have time to gasp when she found herself on the floor again. And everything in her suitcase fell apart again.

Then the grandmother began to swear strongly:

- What kind of children are these? You can't go into any store! They immediately rush at you. When I was little, I never ran like that. If I had a gun, I would shoot such children!

And everyone sees that the grandmother really has a gun in her hands. Very, very real.

The senior salesman will shout to the whole store:

- Get down!

Everyone died like that.

The senior salesman, lying down, continues:

– Don’t worry, citizens, I’ve already called the police with a button. This saboteur will soon be arrested.

Mom says to Yasha:

- Come on, Yasha, let’s crawl out of here quietly. This grandma is too dangerous.

Yasha answers:

“She’s not dangerous at all.” This is my pistol. Last time I put it in her suitcase. Do not be afraid.

Mom says:

- So this is your gun?! Then you need to be even more afraid. Don't crawl, but run away from here! Because now it’s not my grandmother who’s going to get hurt by the police, but us. And at my age all I needed was to get into the police. And after that they will take you into account. Nowadays crime is strict.

They quietly disappeared from the store.

But after this incident, Yasha never ran into stores. He didn’t wander from corner to corner like crazy. On the contrary, he helped my mother. Mom gave him the biggest bag.

And one day Yasha saw this grandmother with a suitcase in the store again. He was even happy. He said:

- Look, mom, this grandmother has already been released!

How the boy Yasha and one girl decorated themselves

One day Yasha and his mother came to visit another mother. And this mother had a daughter, Marina. Same age as Yasha, only older.

Yasha's mother and Marina's mother got busy. They drank tea and exchanged children's clothes. And the girl Marina called Yasha into the hallway. And says:

- Come on, Yasha, let's play hairdresser. To the beauty salon.

Yasha immediately agreed. When he heard the word “play”, he dropped everything he was doing: porridge, books, and broom. He even looked away from cartoon films if he had to act. And he had never played barbershop before.

Therefore, he immediately agreed:

She and Marina installed daddy’s swivel chair near the mirror and sat Yasha on it. Marina brought a white pillowcase, wrapped Yasha in the pillowcase and said:

- How should I cut your hair? Leave the temples?

Yasha answers:

- Of course, leave it. But you don’t have to leave it.

Marina got down to business. She used large scissors to cut off everything unnecessary from Yasha, leaving only the temples and tufts of hair that were not cut off. Yasha looked like a tattered pillow.

– Should I freshen you up? – asks Marina.

“Refresh,” says Yasha. Although he is already fresh, still very young.

Marina cold water She put it in her mouth as if she were spraying it on Yasha. Yasha will scream:

Mom doesn't hear anything. And Marina says:

- Oh, Yasha, there’s no need to call your mother. You'd better cut my hair.

Yasha did not refuse. He also wrapped Marina in a pillowcase and asked:

- How should I cut your hair? Should you leave some pieces?

“I need to be tricked,” says Marina.

Yasha understood everything. He took my father’s chair by the handle and began to spin Marina.

He twisted and twisted, and even began to stumble.

- Enough? - asks.

- What's enough? – asks Marina.

- Wind it up.

“That’s enough,” says Marina. And she disappeared somewhere.

Then Yasha’s mother came. She looked at Yasha and screamed:

- Lord, what did they do to my child!!!

“Marina and I were playing hairdresser,” Yasha reassured her.

Only my mother was not happy, but got terribly angry and quickly began to dress Yasha: stuff him into his jacket.

- And what? - says Marina’s mother. - They cut his hair well. Your child is simply unrecognizable. A completely different boy.

Yasha’s mother is silent. The unrecognizable Yasha is buttoned up.

The mother of the girl Marina continues:

– Our Marina is such an inventor. He always comes up with something interesting.

“Nothing, nothing,” says Yasha’s mother, “the next time you come to us, we will also come up with something interesting.” We will open a “Quick Clothes Repair” or a dyeing workshop. You won't recognize your child either.

And they quickly left.

At home, Yasha and dad flew in:

- It’s good that you didn’t play dentist. If only you were Yafa bef zubof!

Since then, Yasha chose his games very carefully. And he wasn’t angry with Marina at all.

How the boy Yasha loved to walk through puddles

The boy Yasha had this habit: when he sees a puddle, he immediately walks into it. He stands and stands and stamps his foot some more.

Mom persuades him:

- Yasha, puddles are not for children.

But he still gets into puddles. And even to the deepest.

They catch him, pull him out of one puddle, and he’s already standing in another, stamping his feet.

Okay, in the summer it’s tolerable, just wet, that’s all. But now autumn has come. Every day the puddles are getting colder, and it’s getting harder to dry your boots. They take Yasha outside, he runs through the puddles, gets wet to the waist, and that’s it: he has to go home to dry.

All children autumn forest walking, collecting leaves in bouquets. They swing on a swing.

And Yasha is taken home to dry.

They put him on the radiator to warm up, and his boots hang on a rope over the gas stove.

And mom and dad noticed that the more Yasha stood in puddles, the stronger his cold. He begins to have a runny nose and cough. Snot is pouring out of Yasha, there are not enough handkerchiefs.

Yasha noticed this too. And dad told him:

“Yasha, if you run through puddles any more, you’ll not only have snot in your nose, you’ll have frogs in your nose.” Because you have a whole swamp in your nose.

Yasha, of course, didn’t really believe it.

But one day dad took the handkerchief in which Yasha was blowing his nose and put two little green frogs in it.

He made them himself. Carved from gooey chewy candies. There are rubber candies for children called “Bunty-plunty”. And mom put this scarf in Yasha’s locker for her things.

As soon as Yasha came back from a walk all wet, his mother said:

- Come on, Yasha, let's blow our nose. Let's get the snot out of you.

Mom took a handkerchief from the shelf and put it to Yasha’s nose. Yasha, let's blow your nose as hard as you can. And suddenly mom sees something moving in the scarf. Mom will be scared from head to toe.

- Yasha, what is this?

And he shows Yasha two frogs.

Yasha will also be scared, because he remembered what his dad told him.

Mom asks again:

- Yasha, what is this?

Yasha answers:

- Frogs.

-Where are they from?

- Out of me.

Mom asks:

- And how many of them are there in you?

Yasha himself doesn’t know. He says:

“That’s it, mom, I won’t run through puddles anymore.” My dad told me it would end like this. Blow my nose again. I want all the frogs to fall out of me.

Mom began to blow his nose again, but there were no more frogs.

And mother tied these two frogs on a string and carried them with her in her pocket. As soon as Yasha runs up to the puddle, she pulls the string and shows Yasha the frogs.

Yasha immediately - stop! And don’t step into a puddle! Very good boy.

How the boy Yasha drew everywhere

We bought pencils for the boy Yasha. Bright, colorful. A lot - about ten. Yes, apparently we were in a hurry.

Mom and Dad thought that Yasha would sit in the corner behind the closet and draw Cheburashka in a notebook. Or flowers, different houses. Cheburashka is best. It's a pleasure to draw him. Four circles in total. Circle the head, circle the ears, circle the belly. And then scratch your paws, that’s all. Both the children and the parents are happy.

Only Yasha did not understand what they were aiming at. He began to draw scribbles. As soon as he sees where the white piece of paper is, he immediately draws a scribble.

First, I drew scribbles on all the white sheets of paper on my dad’s desk. Then in my mother’s notebook: where his (Yashina’s) mother wrote down her bright thoughts.

And then anywhere in general.

Mom comes to the pharmacy to get some medicine and gives a prescription through the window.

“We don’t have such a medicine,” says the pharmacist’s aunt. – Scientists have not yet invented such a medicine.

Mom looks at the recipe, and there are only scribbles drawn there, nothing can be seen under them. Mom, of course, is angry:

“Yasha, if you’re ruining the paper, you should at least draw a cat or a mouse.”

The next time mom opens her address book to call another mom, and there is such joy - there is a mouse drawn. Mom even dropped the book. She was so scared.

And Yasha drew this.

Dad comes to the clinic with a passport. They tell him:

“Are you, citizen, just out of prison, so skinny!” From prison?

- Why else? - Dad is surprised.

– You can see the red grille in your photo.

Dad was so angry with Yasha at home that he took away his red pencil, the brightest one.

And Yasha turned around even more. He began to draw scribbles on the walls. I took it and colored all the flowers on the wallpaper with a pink pencil. Both in the hallway and in the living room. Mom was horrified:

- Yasha, guard! Are there checkered flowers?

His pink pencil was taken away. Yasha was not very upset. The next day he’s wearing all the straps on his mother’s white shoes green painted. And he painted the handle on my mother’s white purse green.

Mom goes to the theater, and her shoes and handbag, like a young clown, catch your eye. For this, Yasha received a light slap on the butt (for the first time in his life), and his green pencil was also taken away.

“We have to do something,” says dad. – So far, ours has all the pencils young talent run out, he will turn the whole house into a coloring book.

They began to give pencils to Yasha only under the supervision of elders. Either his mother is watching him, or his grandmother will be called. But they are not always free.

And then the girl Marina came to visit.

Mom said:

- Marina, you are already big. Here are your pencils, you and Yasha can draw. There are cats and muscles there. This is how a cat is drawn. Mouse - like this.

Yasha and Marina understood everything and let’s create cats and mice everywhere. First on paper. Marina will draw a mouse:

- This is my mouse.

Yasha will draw a cat:

- That's my cat. She ate your mouse.

“My mouse had a sister,” says Marina. And he draws another mouse nearby.

“And my cat also had a sister,” says Yasha. - She ate your mouse sister.

“And my mouse had another sister,” Marina draws the mouse on the refrigerator to get away from Yasha’s cats.

Yasha also switches to the refrigerator.

- And my cat had two sisters.

So they moved throughout the apartment. More and more sisters appeared in our mice and cats.

Yasha’s mother finished talking with Marina’s mother, she looked - the whole apartment was covered in mice and cats.

“Guard,” she says. – Just three years ago the renovation was done!

They called dad. Mom asks:

- Shall we wash it off? Are we going to renovate the apartment?

Dad says:

- In no case. Let's leave it like that.

- For what? - asks mom.

- That's why. When our Yasha grows up, let him look at this disgrace with adult eyes. Let him feel ashamed then.

Otherwise, he simply won’t believe us that he could have been so disgraceful as a child.

And Yasha was already ashamed. Although he is still small. He said:

- Dad and Mom, you repair everything. I will never draw on the walls again! I will only be in the album.

And Yasha kept his word. He himself didn’t really want to draw on the walls. It was his girl Marina who led him astray.

Whether in the garden or in the vegetable garden
The raspberries have grown.
It's a pity there's more
Doesn't come to us
Girl Marina.

Attention! This introductory fragment books.

If you liked the beginning of the book, then full version can be purchased from our partner - distributor of legal content, LLC liters.