Why isn't my husband looking for a normal job? Beloved husband does not want to work, what to do and how to solve the problem

I met my former classmate, whom I had not seen for many years. She was surprised at the changes that had happened to me. In the conversation, she asked why I had become so prettier. I joked that the divorce affected me for the better. As you understand, I was immediately asked the following question: “Why did you get divorced?”

It would seem a trivial question that I have heard dozens of times. However, every time he put me in a difficult position. Well, shouldn’t I explain to everyone that my ex-husband didn’t want to work?

Reasons why a man doesn't want to work

However, my ex-husband, alas, is far from the only such instance. More and more often there are men who, for one reason or another, do not want to work. In an attempt to save our marriage, I went to many psychologists. Below I have described the main advice I heard.
I am sharing these tips with you. Perhaps they will be able to help someone save not only love, but also family. However, remember that these are just general recommendations and nothing more.

A man temporarily unemployed

It is very important to understand why the man stopped working. If a man previously worked, but for some reason was laid off, at first he will experience a serious psychological shock. In this situation, the stupidest thing you can do is start causing scandals.

A wise woman, on the contrary, will support her man, give him time for a short break, after which he will definitely find a suitable job. And scandals and reproaches will only lead to a loss of self-confidence and a decrease in self-esteem in a man.

However, most often the situation is different - a man does not temporarily lose his job, but constantly finds a thousand reasons that prevent him from going to work. This is where the situation is much more difficult to correct.

Unrecognized geniuses

A very common type of parasite is unrecognized genius. Such men believe that they are so talented and brilliant that they cannot find a worthy place for themselves. Typically, artists, poets and writers fall into this category. Although one can argue about their genius for a long time.

Psychologists advise constantly praising such men, but at the same time, unobtrusively, but persistently and regularly reminding them that food in the refrigerator, just like clothes in the closet, do not appear on their own.

Eternal children

The second type of men who do not want to work are “mama’s boys.” They are used to being under the care and support of their parents all the time. And they basically have no idea that they can work. As a rule, such specimens are very quickly transplanted onto the wife’s neck.

In this case, the advice of psychologists comes down to one thing. Constantly and persistently remind your man that supporting a family is a man’s responsibility. If a man does not understand this quickly enough, you can threaten him with divorce.

Middle age crisis

And the third category of men are men who are having a midlife crisis. Such men feel that the years are passing and they have not been able to achieve everything they wanted. And this plunges them into depression and deprives them of interest in life in general.

And such men, like no other, need the support of the woman who is next to him. Constantly praise him for every little thing, tell him how much you love him and how much you need him. Emphasize its importance and necessity - this will help overcome the crisis situation as quickly as possible.

How did I solve this problem?

Of course, it’s up to you and only you to decide what to do. You can try one or another way of influencing a man, trying to make him work. But, as practice shows, if a man does not go to work for six months, it is unlikely that you will be able to influence him in any way. You can come to terms with the situation and take on the responsibility of providing for your family.

I tried to fight the problem for 4 years, trying all sorts of measures to influence my husband - from persuasion to scandals. And then, one day I got tired of it. I packed up and left. And only when I was left alone, I breathed freely. I was able to allow myself and my child to be pampered much more often than during family life.

Of course, I do not encourage you to destroy your family. But it is simply necessary to weigh everything carefully. Otherwise, you will only be offended by yourself.

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When starting family life together, the vast majority of women believe that the main breadwinner will be a man. And often everything turns out exactly like this. However, there are couples in which the woman provides the main income. If this happens on her initiative and suits both spouses, there is no problem. But what if a woman is forced to become the “financial head of the family” because her husband is unemployed and seems to be quite happy with life? How to get your husband to work and earn money?

If this situation is painfully close and familiar to you, we advise you to read this article. From it you will learn:

What type is your man?
what to do if the husband does not want to work;
what pitfalls can await you on the way to solving the problem;
in which cases it is possible to act, and in which it is useless.
Finally, we will point out the reasons that most often lead to men’s lack of initiative in finding a job.

“Carefree unemployed” - psychology on the classification of unemployed men

To determine the right direction of action, you need to understand what exactly your husband is like. After conducting a series of studies, psychologists have found that men who do not want to work belong to one of 5 types. This:

Misanthrope.
Melancholic.
Sissy.
Careful.
Narcissus.

"Misanthrope", aka “Unsociable”. This guy doesn’t want to work not because he’s lazy - he just doesn’t like people. Yes, it happens! The reasons are psychological trauma, character traits and simply temperament. Such a man suffers physically and emotionally, being surrounded by work colleagues. It’s not that they are unpleasant to him, but rather that he is stressed by the need for constant communication. He doesn’t need this, he is completely self-sufficient and is not going to let “extra” people into his life.

Unfortunately, misanthropes don’t try to hide their feelings either. They are not loved for this, and they often turn out to be “pariahs” with the corresponding attitude. Of course, this does not make a man more willing to go to work. Therefore, he subconsciously (or consciously) begins to want to be fired and successfully creates a suitable situation. In a number of cases (for example, management does not want to lose such a valuable employee), the misanthrope leaves on his own, without explaining the reasons.

"Melancholic". He is also a “Romantic-Sentimentalist”. This is a sensitive type of man who experiences all his previous failures extremely painfully. Including professional ones. Most of them react sharply to any criticism and comments from management. Due to prejudiced attitudes towards people, it is difficult to find a common language with work colleagues.

Even if they find themselves in a good team, they can “wind up” themselves to such an extent with the imaginary ill will of the employees that they feel “in the enemy camp.” Because of all of the above, they rarely stay in one place and each time they become more and more reluctant to look for a new job. They are sure that life is unfair to them and “I won’t succeed anyway.”

"Sissy", aka “Eternal Child”. An infantile type, accustomed to his mother (or parents) doing everything for him. Having stepped into adulthood, he begins to expect the same from his wife.

There are two reasons for this behavior:

Overprotection in childhood. His mother did not give him freedom, preferring to force him to do what she considered best for him. Such upbringing breaks the will and destroys initiative. Such a man turns out to be absolutely unprepared for adult life - he needs a reliable shoulder on which he can lean. As a rule, this shoulder belongs to his wife.
Indulging all desires. Your man was pampered beyond measure as a child, fulfilling every whim and not demanding anything in return. Growing up, the “Eternal Child” is sure that he will get everything, free of charge and right away. Earning a decent living on your own is out of the question, as is thinking about the answer to the question of how much a man should earn. Especially if parents continue to financially care for their older child, regularly giving him money.

"Careful". He lives by the principle: “You need to think carefully so as not to make mistakes.” The most interesting thing is that such men really rarely make mistakes - since they practically do nothing. The deep reason lies in self-doubt and fear of committing the wrong actions. This usually comes from childhood, when parents scolded the child for the slightest offense and did not praise him for the right actions (“Why?! Doesn’t he really understand?”).

As a result, an intelligent and hardworking man is simply afraid of committing another “stupidity” and paying for it with moral worries. Therefore, his potential job is often given to a less experienced, but more confident and ambitious competitor.

"Narcissus". There are very few such “handsome guys” who make good money. Life motto: “I am smarter than everyone in the world, more beautiful and more valuable than everyone!” I am absolutely sure of this, even if the situation is exactly the opposite. He considers himself a top-class professional, to which others still have to grow and grow. Therefore, he often fails to cope with his responsibilities and loses his job. Without doubting that he was underestimated, he goes to look for another, preferably a leading one. Thanks to his self-confidence, he does it quickly enough and... loses it just as quickly.

As a result, he comes to the “objective” conclusion that “everyone is a fool and they envy me.” Therefore, there is no point in looking for a job: anyway, they will not understand him and will not appreciate the full depth of his professionalism. After which, with a clear conscience, he collapses on the sofa with a newspaper or sits down to play computer games, leaving his wife to decide financial issues herself.

Only extreme need will drive “Misanthropes” to regular work. Therefore, they are prone to irregular earnings. If your spouse falls into this category, encourage him to find a remote job. Freelancing is gaining momentum and high earnings on the Internet are by no means a myth.

In the case where your spouse has “golden hands”, he may well work for himself, as a private entrepreneur. Or take up farming in earnest: grow popular berries and fruit crops, poultry or animals on your personal plot. All this brings good money. In general, there are a lot of options.

“Melancholic people” need regular praise and moral support. Do you want to know how to make your husband earn money? Praise him, often tell him what a smart, capable and independent person he is. Remember his previous achievements and do not let him “slide” into a discussion of failures and shortcomings. And NEVER make fun of someone for their mistakes. He already knows everything perfectly well, and your reproaches may well become the “last straw” in which he will finally “drown.”

Do you feel like you're not stretching? This is fine. In this case, try to convince your husband to see a psychologist - professional psychological help will be a huge plus. Once the man gets a job, you will again have to encourage and inspire him as needed.

The only condition is that you don’t turn into a “mommy” for your husband. Once you get used to this role, you may lose your newly confident spouse (at your expense, by the way!). Remain for him a loved and desired woman, strong, but in need of protection and support.

With the “Eternal Child” the tactics are different. To make a man work, he needs to constantly instill in him the idea that he is an adult, independent person who has great responsibility (your family). And he is quite capable of dealing with it. Besides:

Tell your husband more often that he is reliable and responsible, that in difficult situations you can always count on him.
Gently mention how much more options your family would have when you have some extra money in your budget. Beautifully tell what you plan to spend the money you earn on, of course, taking into account the interests of your husband.

Important! Don't insult a man by reproaching him for his inability to find a job! Most likely, he will withdraw into himself and it will become much more difficult to “reach out” to him.

With “Cautious” husbands, you need to act decisively. But to do this you will have to delve at least a little into the scope of his activities. This is the only way you can advantageously describe all the advantages of the new job (as a rule, he always has 2-3 employment options in mind). Be sure to say that he is an excellent specialist with great potential and will successfully cope with the responsibilities assigned to him.

Why doesn't my husband want to work? He is simply afraid of “not justifying.” Try to explain more gently that mistakes are part of life. And NOBODY is safe from them. That it is NORMAL and NATURAL to make mistakes at times. And this is not a death sentence, as they tried to convince him in childhood. If you do everything right, your spouse will get a good job very quickly. Be prepared for the fact that an already employed man may need psychological support.

In the case of “Narcissus”, the advice is cruel, but unambiguous - do not indulge his desires and weaknesses. This means that you need to stop supporting this parasite at your own expense. Even if the wife earns more than her husband. Want to eat more than just vegetable soup, porridge and bread? Let him look for work and earn money for sausage, cheese, meat and butter. Feeling embarrassed to wear old jeans and a T-shirt? Nobody bothers you to find a job and dress in fashion boutiques. Do you want to drink beer with friends or go fishing? No problem! But only for my earned money, not for yours.

And remember, such a man will start looking for work in one single case - if he really loves you. There is no use in forcing him.

If all actions come down to phone calls and promises “I’ll definitely do this tomorrow”, rest assured that you will continue to bring money to the family alone. And you will be treated as a wallet and a “comfortable woman.” If this scenario doesn’t suit you, it’s better to break up.

What do you need to be prepared for?

Faced with her husband’s reluctance to work and starting to do something, a woman may find herself face to face with downright unpleasant things. Don’t be afraid to find out which ones, because “forewarned is forearmed!” So:

It's your own fault that your husband doesn't earn enough money. Most insecure women try with all their might to get love and gratitude from a man. All means are used: delicious food, sex, cleanliness in the house and protecting your beloved spouse from all discomfort. Including work. " It’s okay, I can do everything myself, but my husband won’t leave me! After all, I do EVERYTHING for him"! This is what such a wife thinks, working hard at two jobs, polishing the floor in the apartment until it shines, ironing a shirt she bought for her husband with her own hands, and stirring truffle julienne with Roquefort cheese. And then he sincerely does not understand why he left her and went to the “bow-legged misunderstanding”, whom he joyfully “plows from morning to night, can you imagine?!”, and even carries her in his arms. Yes, that’s why he left because he was tired of feeling like a pet, and not an adult, independent man!
Your husband doesn't love you - he's just using you. This is painful and unpleasant to realize, especially if you have lived with him for many years and you have children together. How is this found out? It’s very simple: this man doesn’t want to work. He wants to sit on your neck, whine, shout and even beat you (this happens too). He doesn’t want to get off of it either - they feed you, dress you, and “walk” you out into the world. I got used to it, after all. If, despite all the efforts on your part, the man is still unemployed, think about why? Most likely, he does not consider it necessary to work for you. In his opinion, you are not worth such sacrifices. Now think - WHY do you need such a man?
Most likely his relatives will take up arms against you. The classic situation with husbands “Daffodils” and “Mama’s boys”. Of course, you have encroached on the sacred! Make your beloved child work! Be prepared for attacks and even intrigue. Here you will need the support of your husband.
You'll have to show character. Pity is a bad adviser, and its helper is even worse. Do not feel sorry for a man in the usual sense of the word: you are doing him a “disservice.” Your pity will turn him either into a “weapon”, incapable of stable income, or into a tyrant. You will find yourself guilty and, as practice shows, most likely alone.
And another unpleasant “surprise” may await women who want to learn how to make a man earn more: inability to organize a budget. Moreover, female inability. The husband earns a normal amount of money, but the wife literally squanders it on nonsense, demanding more and more.

We really hope that our article will help you find the right solution in the situation with unemployed husbands and get out of it with the least losses. After all, building relationships is not easy and sometimes you need to take certain risks and sacrifices. But if there are sincere and deep feelings between partners, all this pays off many times over and only strengthens mutual affection and respect.

Good afternoon, dear readers! Today I want to talk about what to do if your husband doesn’t want to work. What are the reasons for this behavior and how to help the faithful. How not to lose touch with your loved one and not ruin your relationship because of this. Work is a serious matter. And its absence can cause divorce.

What's behind it?

Why doesn't a man want to work? What is the reason for his such behavior? There can be a lot of answers here. The faithful one has simply never worked and does not know what it is. The husband does not want to work and will happily stay at home.
Perhaps there are problems in the job market right now and the husband cannot find a decent place for himself. Or maybe the spouse simply overestimates his occupation and wants to find something new.

It has always been believed that a man is the breadwinner. That the husband must provide for his family, feed, clothe. But modern trends have somewhat changed this idea. In my life, I have met a large number of couples where the spouse stays at home, but... There is nothing wrong with this. These are just modern family trends.

But if you think that a man should work, but his spouse does not want to do this, then the first step in solving this problem will be to understand the reasons. You need to understand what is behind this behavior. Then you will be able to make some decisions, act not just on a whim, but based on facts.

Just swearing and quarreling with your husband because he doesn’t want to work is stupid. You need to talk and understand each other. This is the first step to success. Listen to what your spouse tells you, look for the reasons for his reluctance.

Loafer

There are some men who have absolutely... They simply don’t want this and are looking for women who can support them.

One of my friends married a guy who is ten years younger than her. The boy is interested in sports cars, racing and other childish things. When I ask her if she would like the boy to work, she just nods her head and smiles.

She likes that she has a young, energetic boy who gives her other pleasures. The friend is able to provide for herself and him. Therefore, she does not need her young husband to work in the office. And here the question does not arise - how to force him to go to work.

If this is your case, then relax and earn money for two. If you knew that your future husband is not a fan of working, then now you essentially have only one choice - give up trying to force him.

If you didn’t know that your beloved man would turn out like this, then the situation here turns out to be the other side. You are faced with a serious choice: try to kick him out of work; come to terms with the state of things; disperse. The choice is very difficult.

First of all, just talk to him. Perhaps there is an activity that the spouse could do and that will . In addition, you can give him an ultimatum: no job - no relationship. But such things are always very unpredictable and may not turn out the way you would like. Be very careful.

The option to reconcile is the simplest. If you make good money and are ready to provide for your family, then you can just relax and continue in the same spirit. And the husband will take care of the house and family. Even though the faithful may be sitting at home, he is still obliged to do something. In such a situation, all household chores fall on his shoulders. It can't be any other way. If you work and take care of the house, you will quickly become exhausted.

Problems in the market

It happens that the faithful from the previous place, but nothing. Sometimes it is difficult to find a new place due to the fact that there are simply no offers on the vacancy market. There is a crisis in the country or in the area in which your spouse works.

The main thing is not to let him stay at home. When a person sits without work for a long time, it becomes increasingly difficult for him to take the first step. A man becomes addicted to idleness and becomes lazy. Let your spouse do at least something. Don't let him get stuck in this swamp.

You can help him find a job, through friends or in your company. In addition, he can always try himself in another field. It may not be as profitable or interesting, but the husband will be busy. He will not sit still and become discouraged.

This situation is difficult both for him and for you. You both need to be prepared for problems to happen.

But together you can solve them. You must walk hand in hand and look at all problems together. Then this will not be a tragedy for your marriage, which could result in divorce.

Support your beloved, help him with everything you can, be there, be his reliable support.

Middle age crisis

In addition to all of the above, it happens that a man simply gets lost and tries to find himself. He worked in one place for a long time, but he was fed up with it all, he no longer saw the point in it and wanted to find something new.
Men who cannot live without working will find a way out and cope with this situation. They will begin to learn something new, try to find themselves in a different field, and start a new business. But they won't stop.

Of course, such a crisis may drag on and become a problem for you. Remember that determining your place in this world is very difficult. Be more patient and calm. Help him find himself. Perhaps you will be helped by vocational guidance specialists who can find the area that will interest your husband.

If the man you love has worked and wants to do it, but just doesn’t know where and how yet, don’t press him. Help as much as you can, support and talk to him. You are his wife and he expects your understanding.

If your husband is having trouble finding a job, don't forget that there are women who suffer because their spouses... A spouse who spends all his free time working is also a problem. And it is not yet known which is worse. Have a husband who doesn't work, or a spouse who knows nothing but work.

With a problem called husband doesn't work a huge number of women are faced with, and this despite the fact that we are taught from childhood that a man is the protector, support and breadwinner in the family. Equality between women and men has recently led to a frequent change in roles to diametrically opposed ones and to the fact that a woman must be strong and be able to take care of herself independently. Who is to blame and what to do if husband doesn't work?

Husband doesn't work: problem statement

Women, due to their natural gentleness and the most sincere devoted feelings, do not immediately begin to sound the alarm if husband doesn't work. Someone's spouse was laid off, someone's spouse was unsettled by a serious illness, someone left of their own free will under the influence of external circumstances or due to some injustice and has not yet had time to recover. Anything can happen, wives endure, wait, work, bring money to the family, look after the children and the house. But whatever the reasons that your husband doesn't work, if this is his suspended protracted condition, which lasts more than several months or your husband hasn't worked for a year, or even two or three (this happens too), then it’s time to seriously worry. Perhaps your dearest spouse just doesn't want to work?

There are several behavioral options in case your husband doesn't work, the optimal one is selected according to the situation and because of how much the spouse really wants to find a job and how he behaves and what he does for this.

My husband doesn't work - what to do?

The first model of behavior is passive contemplation, observation from the outside and expectation of a “miracle”: what if everything changes? But even if you don’t want major conflicts and don’t seek to lecture your husband, you hope that he himself will understand everything and correct himself, but you shouldn’t spoil him too much. Your sympathy should not be accompanied by gourmet meals, going to the movies together, and buying new things for your husband. Spend your money only on what you need, on what you want to spend it on. Show your man that you can’t handle a non-working husband and his needs alone; after all, he’s not your young child or a lap dog, and you didn’t start your life together with a gigolo, at least you hardly thought so. If husband doesn't work as before, and another month has passed, then probably magical transformations “suddenly and on their own” will no longer happen, and the time of big changes is coming with the beginning of a new life - no longer with this man who has demonstrated his incompetence. As a final test, try living separately for some time, move in with friends or parents, and see how your husband acts when financial problems become more obvious to him.

How to get your husband to work

The second behavior model in case your husband doesn't work, this is your active participation in his fate - after all, it is yours at the moment. Job newspapers, the Internet, advertisements will give practical answers on what to do if husband doesn't work. Find him a job! Arm yourself with a carrot and a stick, compose and send out a resume together, consult with friends and relatives, send it for regular interviews with various companies. Offer to find at least temporary work to support the family. Husband doesn't work and talks about the horrors of the crisis and that no one needs it, that there is no suitable job? Perhaps you should think about some advanced training courses for your spouse, but remember that there are plenty of vacancies in a crisis, you just need to look and, probably, be at least temporarily a little less picky. If your husband doesn't work and one after another rejects proposals and options for a nth, long time, then, alas, he is a lazy person and a parasite. Or he has too high an opinion of himself, which is groundless, since a worthy man will not sit on a woman’s neck and use her wallet, but will come to an agreement with his ambitions and go to work, albeit not of his level of knowledge and desires, but one that brings money. Otherwise, why do you need a drone husband? For the sake of order, you can finally talk about a forced divorce - once, and then you need to pack your things - either your husband's, or your own, and part ways.

Husband doesn’t work: oh well!

There are quite happy and contented families in which husband doesn't work, and the wife is a businesswoman, a workaholic and a financial support. If you don’t mind this picture, and your income allows for such a state of affairs, then why not, but... Firstly, the husband should still work - help around the house and do some traditionally feminine duties, and not lie on the sofa in the company of friends watching football and drinking a glass of beer. Secondly, unfortunately, at any moment the current situation may cease to be comfortable. Pregnancy, the birth of a child, problems at work, what will you and your spouse do in this case, if your (determining) income suddenly decreases, won’t you then feel the burden of your husband on your neck more clearly than before?

In our modern world, women have long ceased to be the weaker sex. Yes, we have always strived for equality with men in all respects, and what have we got? A woman works equally with them, sometimes even does the same physically difficult work as men, spends a full day at work, and then runs home to cook dinner, do laundry, tidy up the house, check the children’s homework, and, of course, you must not forget to caress your husband.

And with all this, a woman still needs to always remain attractive and well-groomed, otherwise her husband will suddenly leave for another. What is the role of a man in the family? He must be a breadwinner to provide for his family financially. But some men don't even perform this one function.

Yes, anything can happen: you were laid off at work or your business went bankrupt, but you always need to not give up and strive to find other options. Unfortunately, there are men for whom this process drags on not even for months, but for many years.

And we, women, have been waiting all this time and hoping that everything is about to change and everything will be as before, and we continue to carry on our fragile shoulders not only the household, but also the material support of the family. And the husband at this time “all in suffering” watches TV and spends all the time on the sofa.

If you are tired of this, then, first of all, you need to have a good understanding of the reasons why your husband cannot find a job. Maybe he just doesn’t want to do this and is okay with everything? So what, your wife earns money, runs the household, and you lie on your sofa, relax - an eternal vacation, and you don’t have to think or worry about anything. If so, then you need to drive such a husband out of the house and out of your life forever.

Never let a man sit on your neck.

But if your husband is not like that and you are satisfied with everything about him, except for the lack of work, then try to figure out what the cause of this problem is. Not all women are ready to put up with a situation of constant lack of money for a long time, so, in the end, the question arises, how to get your husband to work?

Main types

In order to understand where to start, you need to find out what types of non-working men there are, and what type exactly does your husband belong to?

So, the first type is “mama’s boy”. This is a man, most often, with a weak character, who is accustomed to everyone taking care of him and deciding everything for him. Even if he had a job before, having lost it, he will not rush to look for a new one. What for? After all, everything suits him anyway. His wife works and this seems to him enough for a normal and comfortable existence. Since childhood, such a man has not been accustomed to taking responsibility for his actions, because his parents have always overprotected him from any problems. And now he is trying to shift his responsibilities as a breadwinner onto the shoulders of his wife, so that she is responsible for the financial support of the family.
The second type is the “narcissist”. This is a man with high self-esteem who loves only himself and believes that any company dreams of getting an employee like him, giving him, of course, only a leadership position. In reality, everything turns out completely differently. Most often, a man’s real abilities and knowledge do not correspond to what he imagines about himself. This becomes immediately apparent during the first interview. And naturally, no one will want to hire such an employee. The “narcissist” considers it beneath his dignity to waste time on temporary work and be a minor worker, so he sits on the couch all day long, hoping that a good job will find him on its own.
The third type is “swinging”. This is a man who always takes a very long time to get ready to do something. This does not mean that he is not looking for a job, he just needs a lot more time for this. He must weigh everything, check and carefully approach the choice of a new job. It is quite difficult for such men to get used to everything new just because they are “slow-witted,” i.e. They take a long time to delve into everything. Therefore, searching for a job can take quite a long time, but, in the end, it will eventually be crowned with success.
The fourth type is the “misanthrope.” This is a man who constantly experiences difficulties in communicating with people due to his bad character. He categorically does not like other people, and he does not want to come into contact with them under any circumstances. Nowadays, you can hardly find a job where you don’t need to communicate with colleagues or clients. Therefore, it is very difficult for a misanthrope to find a suitable specialty. It is very difficult to establish any kind of business relationship with such a person, so employers try to avoid such employees. So he waits until a job that suits him completely appears. And this may not happen soon.
The fifth type is “melancholic”. This is a very vulnerable man. He always takes everything to heart and forever remembers all grievances. Therefore, it is difficult for him to forget the bad experience at his previous job, and for a long time he cannot decide to look for a new one. But when he finally decides, the first unsuccessful interview can unsettle him for a long time. And he will be looking for a new option for a very long time. A melancholic person prefers to do nothing, so as not to be exposed to new stress.
The sixth type is “”. This is a man who initially did not work, and does not intend to work. He is quite happy that his wife earns money, and he spends it for his own pleasure. He loves only himself and believes that the world revolves around him, and everyone else should provide for him.
And a separate type includes men who cannot find work due to circumstances beyond their control. For example, your husband’s specialty is not currently in demand on the employment market or he lacks certain experience and qualifications to occupy a new position. Age may also be a reason for refusal. Nowadays, you can increasingly find advertisements looking for workers no older than 30-35 years old. And if your husband is over 30, then it’s quite difficult to find a new job.

And what should a woman do in this situation?

First, you should talk frankly with your husband about how he sees the future of your family? If you have children, then you should focus on this, you must show him that he is responsible for their future, that they need to eat well, dress well, attend various sports sections and clubs, and in the summer be sure to send them to a health camp.

You must make it clear to your husband that the money you earn is not enough for this, and that you cannot do without his help. If you don’t have children, then draw your husband a beautiful future, a new apartment, a car or a trip abroad, and tell him that if he continues to do nothing, then he will continue to travel on public transport all his life, and instead of going on vacation sea - lying on an old sofa.

You should find out from your husband what he is doing to find a new job, and why he does not want or cannot find a suitable option? He must have ironclad arguments for you to believe him. If you have doubts about his sincerity, you will have to take the situation into your own hands.

So, what to do if your husband doesn’t want to work, and how to get him to change?

It can be very difficult for a man to change his established lifestyle and usual job. Therefore, the search for new vacancies invariably causes fear from the unknown of what lies ahead. If your stay is only for a short time, then try to support him and help him cope with this difficult situation.

Constantly remind him of his good qualities to increase his confidence in his abilities.

But if, after months or even years, your husband cannot find a job, and a frank conversation with him on this topic did not help, then you should move on to active action.

Start monitoring the entire process of his job search. Even to the point of buying newspapers with advertisements for your husband and selecting suitable vacancies for him, if he still has not been able to do this on his own. Make sure he calls everyone and reports to you for each ad.

Also, make a good resume along with it and send it to different organizations, and you can also post it on the Internet at various labor exchanges. At least someone must respond. Then your husband will have nothing left to do but go to the interview, and maybe it will be crowned with success.

This advice is suitable for men who themselves do not dare to take the first step - these are melancholic, misanthrope and “swinging”, it can also be used for other types. By your actions you can push your husband to change.

But if this does not help, then let him feel with all his might what it is to be a “housewife.” Transfer all the household chores to him: let him cook, clean, do laundry, take care of the children, and at this time you will build your career and earn money.

And when you come home, you will strictly check the work he has done and constantly point out his mistakes. If he is a normal man, then very quickly he will get tired of being a female housewife, and he will begin to look more diligently for a new job.

Also a very effective method to force your husband to work is to completely deprive him of money. You should spend all the money you earn only on yourself and your children. No, of course, your husband should not die of hunger, but for all other needs, for example, cigarettes, beer, clothes, he will have to ask you for money every time.

And you must refuse him. Yes, he can ask his parents for money, but believe me, they will also very quickly get tired of supporting their adult son, and then they will work with you to find him a job. In addition, not every man will like to humiliate himself every time and ask his wife for money to buy himself cigarettes.

This advice is suitable for men with high self-esteem - “narcissists” and “mama’s boys”.

But the gigolo can be brought to light very quickly. To do this, it is enough to let him understand that you have begun to have financial difficulties, and that in the future you will have to save on everything. Believe that this man, who is accustomed to denying himself nothing, will immediately run away from you. And under no circumstances should you regret it. You deserve better! And a gigolo man is far from the best option!

And don’t worry, you will definitely live without him, because all this time you have provided for your family without his help, but he will be left without a job and without a family. And you will have a chance to meet a real man with whom you can feel like a weak, but very happy woman.

We hope that our advice will help you, and you will not have to make such serious decisions and radically change your life. Dear women, love yourself and don’t let anyone sit on your neck! You deserve better!