How to stop the endless stream of unpleasant memories and never return to them. How to forget an unpleasant situation

In every person's life there are things or incidents that he would like to forget. But the memory doesn’t want to let go of these bad memories. These memories are so deeply embedded in the brain that my head can’t get rid of them. So how do you forget the past when it doesn’t want to go away? What methods should you use to erase from your head what is not needed? How to clear your head of debris? More on that below!

It is usually said that as long as a person lives in the past, the future is closed to him. And in general, while a person lives in the past or future, he is not in the present, and if a person does not live in the present, then he is not happy. If you are happy now, then you are definitely living in the present. Therefore, it is simply necessary to get rid of past memories, otherwise the door to a happy future is closed for you.

Why do you think a person remembers some events clearly and for a long time, while forgetting others instantly? It's all about emotions. Man is first and foremost an emotional being. And if one event caused a powerful surge of emotions, then this event is fixed in memory for a long time or forever. Those events that do not evoke any emotions are quickly forgotten. And if you can’t forget something now, it means that something has caused strong emotions in you, and negative ones at that. It could be disappointment, resentment, and so on. This is what stuck in your head.

Forgetting the past on purpose is almost impossible. After all, when you consciously try to forget something, you only remind yourself of some situation. Now, if I tell you - don’t think about the pink elephant - what will you think about? Probably about a pink elephant. In this case, the same thing happens. Hence the conclusion: The harder we try to forget something, the better we remember it.

How to forget the past?

It happens that certain things, people, and even familiar places in the city prevent us from forgetting the past. Whatever one may say, as long as all this is nearby, it will be difficult to forget the past. For example, you experienced a difficult breakup with a girlfriend or boyfriend. You really want to forget her or him. But as long as there is something that reminds you of her or his existence, you won’t be able to forget. Therefore, the first and correct step would be getting rid of things that remind you of something negative, which you want to get rid of.

Try to avoid a place in the city where some negative event has occurred. Perhaps your loved one abandoned you at a cafe, or you were robbed on Tverskaya Street, or something else that is better not to remember. Go around these places until you forget the past. Over time, it will become easier and you will again be able to walk calmly where something unpleasant happened to you.

Second tip - just wait. As they say: time heals. This is true. Any emotion, no matter whether it is positive or negative, is still replaced by another. There is no consistency in this case. Time will pass and you will stop remembering any unpleasant event. You just need to endure it for a while and everything will calm down on its own.

The next option is rethink the past so that it no longer seems negative. It's no secret that negative experiences are more memorable than positive ones. And many people believe that they are more unlucky than lucky. Actually this is not true. In the case of a negative event, try to make it stop causing negative emotions in you and being considered a failure.

For example, you were fired from your job, say seven years ago. You were very worried about this then. But after your dismissal, you were forced to open your own business and start working for yourself. Now you have a luxurious dacha, a car, and so on. What would happen to you today if you had not been fired seven years ago? Now we would go to work with a salary of 20,000 rubles, we would not have such a beautiful car, a dacha and the opportunity to relax. Therefore, that day should be considered successful.

Another example, your boyfriend dumped you! And what? It was as if the world had come together like a wedge on him. By the way, a crowd of other guys have already lined up around you who found out about this. You simply don’t notice them because you are suffering from a breakup. You see how the past interferes with the present, and therefore the future. So, I know many stories when girls did not hide the fact that after a difficult breakup they met the guy of their dreams, whom they later married. They, just like you, believed that they would never meet anyone else and that they would remain alone for the rest of their lives. Hell no! Everything was fine for them afterwards, and now they live happily and in harmony.

I know that now it’s hard for you to see something good when everything seems terrible, but time will pass and you will see for yourself. And now take a piece of paper and start writing down the positive aspects of what happened. Who knows how your life would turn out tomorrow if you had not received this experience today.

What helps most people forget the past is a change of scenery. As I already said, it is better for you to avoid those places that remind you of something. If you take a vacation and fly to another country, you are guaranteed to forget the past. It will be very nice if you can be distracted during your vacation. During your vacation, you can find a pleasant and cheerful company, which, with its positivity, will not let you think about the bad. This happened to me personally, and this can happen to you. A change of environment is almost like starting life from scratch.

The next way is keep yourself busy with something like that. Stop harping on the same thing, it's already over. It's time to think about the future. and start achieving it. In the process, the brain thinks about only one thing -. He doesn't care about the rest. So take advantage of this unique moment.

And now the most powerful way to forget the past. This method is aimed not at forgetting it, but at remembering it. What I mean? There is a science called dianetics. So, her technique is very simple. You need to close your eyes and mentally move and experience that negative event until it stops causing emotions in you. You replay an event in your head from beginning to end many times. In this way, you will erase engrams (such as programs associated with an event) in your head. Give yourself two hours of time and start experiencing that unpleasant event many times. At the end of the session, you will feel much better, and you will simply be too lazy to think about that event (thought it up).

That's all I wanted to say in the article. “How to forget the past?”. And remember, no matter what happens to you, everything in your life will be just great. Good luck to you!

how to forget the past

Let us immediately note that it is very difficult to forget something on purpose. The more effort a person makes to forget something, the more intrusive the memories will be. If you are concerned about the question of how to forget the past, you must understand: the past will pop up in your memory at the most inopportune moment, it will appear in dreams, the most unexpected objects and situations will cause unwanted associations.

How to forget the past and start living

There is a parable: two Buddhist monks were walking. On their way they came across a river that could be forded. The woman asked to help her cross to the other side. One of the monks took her on his back and crossed the river.

Another began to be indignant: “You are a monk, you had no right to touch a woman.” “I carried her and let her go,” answered the first, “and you are still carrying her.”

Sometimes the past greatly complicates our lives, it “rolls over” and makes us relive unpleasant moments again and again. We “carry” this past and cannot free ourselves.

To forget a relationship and let go of the past, first of all, you need to understand that the past has already passed, that nothing in the past can be corrected. You can analyze the past, draw certain conclusions for yourself, decide what to do in the future in a similar situation, but nothing can be changed in the past itself.

But you can change the present and the future. The energy that is wasted on useless worries on the topic: “if everything was returned, I would do ...” should be directed to the present and future. You can try to reduce the harm caused by an ugly act in the past. Look for opportunities to repair the relationship by taking the past into account. Think about how to prevent a similar situation in the future.

Think about what the situation you experienced taught you, analyze your behavior and the behavior of the people with whom you were associated at that moment.

Try to draw your past or describe it as if from the outside, look at it through the eyes of an outsider.

Man is the master of his thoughts

1. Don’t allow yourself to repeat the same thoughts over and over again, don’t “wind up” yourself by trying to forcefully forget the past. You can write down unpleasant thoughts and destroy this paper.
2. Mentally thank all participants in the unpleasant past, wish them good luck in the future.
3. Create a “closet” in your head in which these unpleasant memories will be stored. Try to “close” this closet and not open it again.

And remember, only if you are focused on the present and future, can you forget and forgive the past

Every person has experienced mental pain at some point. Someone was deceived, betrayed, robbed by loved ones. Someone simply didn’t have a good relationship with their lover. Someone committed an ugly act or did not do something on time and now his soul constantly hurts from a feeling of guilt. This mental pain interferes with living happily, complicates relationships with other people, and constantly gnaws at a person. How to forget the past, what hurts and live life to the fullest again?

Listen to yourself. What kind of pain are you having? Is it the pain of loss from the fact that you had a good time with someone, you were loved, and now you lack these feelings? Or is it an insult to another person who doubted your merits and good qualities? Or maybe it's a feeling of guilt?

Ask yourself a question that may seem strange: do you want to experience this pain? Don't rush to answer. For example, your lover left you, it hurts you. You complain about him to everyone you know. And you get pleasure from the fact that everyone feels sorry for you. Moreover, at the same time, you can feel your superiority, reflecting on the topics: “all men..., all women...”. If you get rid of the pain, they will stop feeling sorry for you, that is, you will strive to keep the pain.

How not to remember the past and forget

Treat the situation in which pain was caused as a life lesson, think about what conclusions can be drawn from this situation. Having made a decision, try to prohibit yourself from mentally returning to the past.

If you are in pain from loss, think about how you can compensate for it. If you are offended, do something to be satisfied with yourself, increase your importance in your eyes and in the eyes of your friends. To forget the past, don't blame yourself for the past, it doesn't make sense.

Forbid yourself from hating the person who hurt you. Stop wishing him harm and dreaming of revenge. Your pain is in the past; if you take revenge in the present, the past will not change. “Let go” of the person who hurt you, let him leave your thoughts.

Get creative, find yourself a new hobby, look for new friends, load yourself with worries - let your thoughts be occupied not with worries, but with doing all these things and there will be no time to think about the past.

Time is the best doctor, it will help you forget the past. Give the emotional wound time to heal, put thoughts about the past in the back drawer. Life goes on, you will still be happy, believe in it.

How to forget past relationships

How to open your heart to love again? Is it possible to quickly get rid of depression that arose after being abandoned by a loved one? We are ready to give you some tips that will be effective in combating this problem.

In order to forget a relationship, you first need to forgive the person, even if he offended you very much, before leaving. This is what will allow you to simply let go of the situation and forget about the problem. As long as you remember all the bad things your partner did, there will be no room in your heart for a new person, and you may miss out on your love. Tune yourself to the fact that forgiveness is an excellent remedy for melancholy and depression. First of all, you are doing this for yourself.

How to forget the past? Start a new romance and let it be truly bright. It is not at all necessary to look for someone for long-term communication - a small affair will be enough. But here we will make a reservation that for many women this option will be unacceptable.

Think ten times before using a new romance to fight an old love - you may feel completely empty if you place more hopes on a man than necessary. On the contrary, if you don’t expect your new partner to desperately love you, and you just need to unwind, then you can safely look for adventure. If your upbringing does not allow you to do this, even a little harmless flirting will raise not only your mood, but also your self-esteem - try it!

To forget the relationship, switch your attention to some other activity. For example, you can always sign up for a fitness club, take foreign language courses, and start going to theaters, museums, and cinemas. Volunteering is a great way to help cope with any depression. By helping other people, you will involuntarily realize that matters of the heart are not the most important thing in life. This is what will allow you to quickly recover after a breakup.

And, of course, time helps to forget the past! You don’t need to think that in a couple of days you will feel better and you will again enjoy life as before. But on the other hand, believe that depression is not forever. In fact, this is a normal condition that happens to everyone and will definitely pass. Let it be in a month or even in a year - in any case, you will still be able to not only get the opportunity to get rid of old memories, but also be sure to meet true love!

Life is full of events, and they are not always joyful: some of them you simply want to erase from your memory. However, often a person mentally plays out a negative situation in his head, returning to it again and again. However, you can get rid of this habit, and the tips described below will help with this.

How to forget an unpleasant event?

When thinking about how to forget something forever, you should resort to the following method. You will be required to relive the negative event without changing the plot. It is important that you feel emotionally what happened in the past. Remember all the little things you can.

Then imagine that all this happened not to you, but to someone else. What advice would you give to this person? Surely you would see the situation from a different angle. Put yourself in the shoes of the people who participated in it. What emotions are you feeling now? Most likely, you will not be so offended by everything that happened. After this, imagine how the picture fades and then disappears from your field of vision. You can even mentally drown her in sulfuric acid. She is no more, she has disappeared, she has died, which means you can let everything go. Understand that the past is dead and will never come back. Once you understand this, the pain will go away.

How can you forget something terrible?

You can erase a terrible event from your memory by switching your brain to something completely different. This could be work, a new hobby, dating. Also, you shouldn’t be alone, otherwise thoughts about what happened will simply haunt you. It’s better to spend some time with friends and relatives. Of course, from time to time, memories of a negative event will pop up in your memory, but every day it will hurt you less and less.

Some people have nightmares in which they return to that terrible reality and relive it. In this case, you need to think only about good things before going to bed. For example, thank your Higher Power for the positive things that happened over the past day. It could be:

• meeting with an old friend;
• your baby's smile or first words;
• a pleasant memory - a cute kitten or puppy, a beautiful butterfly.

You can also watch a comedy, a concert of your favorite artist, or listen to a new album before going to bed. It is important that you take your mind off what is weighing you down. As a result, you will go to bed in high spirits, which means you will only have pleasant dreams.

How to forget something bad in your life?

Bad events often happen in a person’s life, and most often he blames a relative, friend, or acquaintance for them. As a result, hatred appears, but it does not allow you to live in peace. In this case, it is very important to forgive the person who harmed you and let him go. Meditation will help you with this. Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down on your bed, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Once you are completely relaxed, you can begin to meditate. Imagine a place where you will be as comfortable as possible, and invite your offender there. Look into his eyes, look at his facial features, look at his clothes.

Now tell him everything you think about him. Surely you have accumulated a lot. You don't have to be shy in your expressions. Once you tell your abuser how you feel, you will feel better.

The next stage will be forgiveness. Take the person by the hands, look into his eyes and tell him that you forgive him. This must be done sincerely. Say the words “I forgive you” as many times as you want until you believe it. After this, you can let the offender go: look after him, wish him happiness and surround him with love.

You should feel lightness, it will be a sign that you have let go of the situation. If not, you need to do this exercise every evening. It may take you a month or a week, take your time, as it will become easier for you. As a result, the bad event will not dominate your mind; your brain will simply forget it.

How to forget a negative event forever?

The following exercise will help you forget something forever. For it you will need to find a sheet of paper, a saucer, matches and a pen. Sit down at the table and describe a negative event that happened to you. Remember all the details. Once you realize that you have nothing more to add, reread what you wrote and tear the paper, imagining how the negative situation is erased from your memory.

Then take a saucer, put scraps of paper in it and set them on fire. Look carefully at the flame, imagine how all your grievances and memories burn in it. Once the paper is completely burned, wash off the ash with water. That's it, this memory is no longer there, it has no power over your mind. Remember this and enjoy today without going back to the past.

You can read more tips on consigning memories to oblivion in our article -.

Memory is one of the most important, influencing his entire life. And many people take the problem of developing their memory skills very seriously. Fortunately, there are a huge number of opportunities today: various trainings, courses, seminars and other training programs. If a person has a need to improve his memory, he can easily find suitable materials. However, much less attention is paid to the problem of forgetting, although its importance is no less. After all, many of us often have a desire to get rid of some memories, feelings from the past, and simply free our memory from unnecessary information. This is exactly what we decided to talk about.

Among the many methods designed to improve memory, there are special methods designed for intentional forgetting. Their totality is called flying technology. The term itself is rooted in Greek mythology, in which the well-known river Lethe was often mentioned (remember the common expression “sink into oblivion”). Lethe is the river of oblivion, which was located in the underground domain of Hades. Dead souls who entered his kingdom, having drunk water from Lethe, forever forgot that they had ever lived.

So what are the benefits of flying technology and what exactly is it used for? To begin with, it is worth saying that the property of human memory to forget is its integral component, because thanks to it, mnemonic processes are complete. And many Russian and foreign psychologists have talked and are talking about this. It is the ability to forget that helps a person erase from memory something that happened in the past, but has a destructive effect on the psyche and personality in the present, as well as any information that is irrelevant at the moment. These are the two main reasons why it is recommended to master forgetting techniques.

There are two main flight methods: suppression and removal. Let's consider each of them separately.

Suppression

This method is considered specifically as a psychotherapeutic one, i.e. thanks to him, it becomes possible to forget what has a traumatic effect on the psyche. Often some memories of negative events bother people and come to mind more and more often because of their vivid emotional coloring. A person begins to react sharply to this, to be afraid of these memories, and they become stronger. To eliminate these and other various obsessive thoughts, two exercises are usually used.

"Burning Letter"

Write down on a piece of paper all the memories that make you feel negative emotions. Describe them in full detail. Then take this sheet, crumple it and place it in a pre-prepared fireproof container. Set fire to the crumpled sheet. Watch the flame. And while the leaf burns, imagine how all the memories that bother you burn with it, and then turn into ashes. As soon as the paper completely burns out, scatter the ashes to the wind, throwing them, for example, out the window.

The essence of this exercise is that it not only helps you get rid of unnecessary memories, but also becomes their master. It is by having the opportunity to manage his memories that a person can get rid of them. This may even be unpleasant to some extent, but the result is worth it, because a person no longer needs to defend himself from annoying thoughts or suppress them, because he can simply describe them and burn them. And fire, as we know, has always been the best psychotherapist for people: looking at it, people were cleansed of what was psychologically pressing on them, “threw a heavy burden off their shoulders.” If a person has a vivid imagination, he is able to almost literally imagine how his troubles and misfortunes burn together with the paper, freeing his memory from a heavy burden.

"TV"

Sit in a comfortable chair or sofa and take a comfortable body position. Try to project your negative experiences in detail onto a large television screen created in your imagination. After that, pick up the same imaginary remote control and turn off the sound of your “movie”. Watch it as a silent movie. Then gradually make the image blurry and dull. Imagine that it becomes less and less bright and disappears completely.

The most important thing in this exercise is not to rush. There is no need to try to complete the entire exercise in a couple of minutes. On the contrary, you need the process to be as detailed as possible. For example, you can imagine how, after the picture disappears, you turn off the TV, unplug the power cord, pick up the TV, bring it to the window and throw it away.

You can also get creative with the film itself: change the plot from drama to comedy. Model the continuation of the situation in a comical version, put a funny melody or a stupid song on the image, imagine that the role is played not by you, but by one of the comedians. Become the director of your memories - this way you can manage and control them. If you don't need them, throw them out of your “video library”.

Even if “Burning Letter” and “TV” do not completely rid you of memories, you will no longer be afraid of them in any case. And if you are not afraid of them, then they will probably become indifferent to you. And what is indifferent to a person rarely disturbs his memory.

Removal

This is the second flying method. It is intended to a greater extent to remove from memory information that has lost its relevance and represents only mental and emotional garbage. Several exercises can be distinguished in the removal technique.

"Flight technical rag"

For example, your memory contains unnecessary images (words, people, pictures, data), which, although they do not have a negative effect, distract your attention and interfere with concentration, free flow of thoughts, etc. Imagine all this information figuratively reflected on a large chalkboard. Then imagine taking a wet rag and erasing all those blocks of this information that you don’t need. In empty spaces, new images may form, related to the previous ones or associated with those nearby. Take the rag again and continue washing. Do this until nothing appears in the empty space. This technique is suitable if there is little information, because... you can divide the board into several sectors and clear each of them in turn.

"Images on Film"

There are cases when the amount of information is large and a simple “flying rag” may not work. Then you can transform this technique a little. Imagine that all the images being recreated are displayed on the same board, but only it is covered with an opaque film. Fill this entire film with unnecessary data, and then simply pull it off the board, immediately freeing up a large space on a new film stretched over the same board. The presented technique was used at one time by the outstanding Soviet and Russian journalist, professional mnemonist and owner of a phenomenal memory, Solomon Veniaminovich Shereshevsky.

Recording

This is another technique that S.V. used. Shereshevsky. He said that he always found it funny that people write down everything they want to remember, because if a person writes it down, why should he remember it? He decided that if he wrote something down, then he did not need to remember it. This became one of the laws of forgetting developed by Shereshevsky, which he began to apply whenever he needed to forget something not particularly important: telephone numbers, people's names, etc. You can use this technique too. Just note that the more a person writes down, the less he uses his memory, and the less he uses his memory, the less trained it is and the less he can remember. Therefore, the less he writes down, the more he will train his memory, and the more he will remember. And it turns out that the information being recorded is information that should not be imprinted in memory, which means it can be safely forgotten. A very good reception, although to many it seems somewhat paradoxical.

In conclusion, I would like to add that the more you practice forgetting unnecessary information, the faster you will master this skill. After some time, the need to use any techniques will disappear by itself, because... You can forget any information and erase memories only with the help of one volitional effort, by giving your brain the appropriate command.

Don't forget to leave a comment. We will also be interested to know which of the forgetting techniques discussed seems most effective to you.

Every person has had things happen in their life that they don’t want to remember. Numerous betrayals and disappointments, illnesses and deaths of loved ones, complete failure in a career, shame and misunderstanding - you want to throw all this out of your head and never remember it again.

But our brain is designed in such a way that some particularly vivid memories, often of a negative nature, remain and constantly remind us of ourselves. This can have a negative impact on the present and prevent you from moving on.

In this case, you want to forget the past forever and start thinking about the future. It’s interesting that it’s impossible to predict which memories will fade over time and which ones will torment you for a long time.

Consciously forgetting the past

To get rid of unpleasant memories, it is first important to “ don't get hung up" On this. The more we try to forget something, the more we think about it. Therefore, to get rid of bad memories, you should simply not think about them.

If events are associated with certain people and places, then it is important to change your place of residence and limit communication with certain people. In other words, it is important to protect yourself from everything that may remind you of the troubles that happened.

If we are talking about a difficult breakup between lovers, then it is important to hide or throw away all joint photographs and gifts. Try not to visit places where spending time together was especially frequent. Don’t think that because of this you will have to limit yourself to such things for the rest of your life.

Restrictions are needed only for the first time, while the memories are still reflected by the aching pain in the chest. Over time, when emotional feelings about this give way to indifference, you can safely take out the hidden things and visit the above public institutions.

When it hurts a lot, we distort memories

How to forget your bad past forever? The answer may be disappointing, but it is impossible. It is possible to completely forget your past life only in case of amnesia, but this option is unlikely to suit an adequate person. If memories persist, it may be worth rethinking them to understand what exactly is causing the resentment and bitterness of disappointment.

But in order not to go deeper into a depressive state, it is important to look for positive or neutral moments in these memories, and try to concentrate all possible attention on them. This will allow you to turn unpleasant memories into positive emotions in the future.

Memories are all that remains to us from the past. Two different people can remember the same event to the point of being completely different. It all depends on the emotions that a person experiences at the time of the incident.

And if you constantly remember certain things, slightly distorting them, then over time it will seem that the distorted version was actually real. This feature of our brain is worth taking advantage of if you want a certain event to be positive in the future.

Coolness as endurance training

How to forget your negative past forever or turn it into a positive future? To resolve this issue, you can try using composure. That is, mentally experience an exciting situation, but see yourself as an indifferent third party. This is the only way to calmly look at it from the outside and try to reduce the negative aspects that haunt you.

If the experiences are so strong that even mentally thinking about the current incident causes unbearable pain, then you can safely praise yourself. Forcing yourself to relive the memories again is a very important step towards eliminating negativity.

This is a kind of subconscious training to sharpen willpower and perseverance. Over time, grieving during mental experiences will get boring, and the brain will push the exciting situation into the background.

Forgetting unrequited love

All people are capable of experiencing sincere feelings, and many open up to each other in these feelings. Accordingly, any person at least once in his life experienced a sad feeling of betrayal on the part of those people to whom he opened up.

How to forget a past and such an unhappy love? If the emotions were not strong, then the person is almost immediately distracted by extraneous things in the form of work, hobbies and entertainment. Some even manage to build new relationships right away.

But what to do when the attachment to the betrayed person is so strong that there is no desire to move on?

The following steps for removing the “needle” from the heart are more suitable for the female half of the population, although some men can also use them:

• Firstly, you can mope for several days, drown in depression and memories, look at photos together and shed tears over gifts (girls love to strangle toys given by former friends with bitter hugs - after all, they are not to blame for anything);
• Secondly, when you get tired of crying about your own worthlessness and uselessness to anyone, the time will come for especially persistent self-care. Masks, gels, creams, manicures, pedicures, makeup and hairstyles - all this will help you remember who is really the victim of the situation, and who urgently needs a comforting hug. But in order to find a willing chosen one, it is important to look the part.

The bad past doesn't leave you alone

It happens that in the past actions were committed that led to catastrophic consequences in the form of a nervous breakdown, loss of friends or the affection of loved ones. Deeds have already been done, and the past cannot be changed. But how can you forget significant mistakes from your past if they don’t leave you alone for many years?

It is important to reconsider the situation and understand your mistakes so as not to make them in the future. Then you need to try to change yourself, if this is important for the location of loved ones and important people. At the same time, we must not forget about our own psychological state.

It is not uncommon when, as a result of such mistakes and subconscious changes in oneself for the better, self-confidence disappears and is replaced by numerous complexes.

If in the past there were serious problems in society, then in the future a complex of isolation may remain. This is a common protective reaction of the body - to protect itself from communication so that there is no risk of repeating the mistake.

You can’t reproach yourself too much for your actions. You need to calmly consider the shortcomings that led to negative consequences and carefully replace them with other behavioral traits. You shouldn’t completely give up communicating with people, because man is a social being, and without communication with the public it will be very difficult.