When it's bad what to do. What to do when everything is bad? Advice from a family psychologist

Life is not always colorful and happy; there are moments when even an optimist gives up. Around you it seems that everyone is against you - loved ones, strangers, bosses, even nature is crying with you like pouring rain. There is a feeling that it can’t get any worse than it is. What to do in such a situation? First of all, calm down, figure it out, maybe you’re just screwing yourself up.

Is it possible to cope with your emotions?

Every person has a changeable mood. Sometimes we ourselves cannot figure out why it happened exactly the way it did. You need to be patient here! Not all days are good. It’s not for nothing that they say that life is an alternation of white and black stripes. But if you think about it, life is actually a chessboard, everything depends on the right move.

Did you get up in the morning and everything started to fall out of your hands? Do calming breathing exercises that will put your thoughts in order and tune in to a positive mood.

Often the cause of a bad mood, apathy, is idleness. Sometimes you get bored and don’t know what to do with yourself. I'm tired of the computer, and so is the TV. Tell yourself “stop”! Why are you living and wasting your time? Do something useful.

Many women on maternity leave constantly lash out at their husbands in the evening because they are bored sitting at home all day. As a result, it disappears and problems arise in relationships. Haven’t you tried to occupy yourself with something interesting, try to develop, do what you like? Some women immediately find an excuse: “I have a small child!” So what? Life does not end here, but only begins. If you set an example that you are constantly working and actively moving, your children will grow up purposeful and active.

Almost all experts say: “ It’s bad for those who don’t want to do anything to make things good. You can never give up. Life is a struggle, a kind of overcoming of obstacles.”. Take advantage of these valuable tips.

Think about something good

This is often where all the problems arise. Don’t escalate the situation; you don’t need to constantly convince yourself that bad things will happen. Remember a good moment in your life or dream about something pleasant. It will feel easier immediately.

Smile

Are you depressed or sad? Go to the mirror, look into it and smile. You are beautiful, a bad mood is not good for you, so get rid of it.

Appreciate what you have

Many people are selfish; they demand unknown things from others. The mistake is that egoists do not value what they have and want to conquer heights. Dreams and aspirations are good, but sometimes you need to come down to earth and think about the loved ones you are hurting. Some people can easily lose love and friendship; at first they think that there is nothing wrong with it. And then they realize the mistake, and it is no longer possible to return the person.

This doesn't just happen to people. Let's give a simple example: you dream about something for a very long time, wait for it, and when it comes true, everything is not as you wanted. As a result, there is emptiness in the soul, a feeling of anxiety and apathy appears. This feeling is often encountered by people who have... They constantly want to achieve their goal, but achieving the goal does not bring them joy.

Remember! Rejoice in the real thing, and not in the illusory, invented. Dream, but don't forget about real life.

Adhere to the principle: “Everything that is done is only for the better.”

Having problems? Try to model the situation differently. If this happens, then it must be experienced. You shouldn’t immediately panic, tear your hair out, or try to change something. Just calm down, wait, maybe you need to rest, and after a while you will laugh at your problems.

How to get out of a deadlock?

First of all, remember that “night always ends and day comes.” Learn to endure all trials, be wise. Experienced psychotherapists pay attention to the following methods:

• Get your life in order. Get rid of everything that brings you discomfort. Tired of constantly repairing your sideboard? Throw it away and buy a new one. Worried about getting wet and ruining your hairstyle? Call a taxi. Are you constantly quarreling with your husband or wife, the relationship does not bring joy, it only torments you? Think about divorce. Remember, the end is always the beginning of a new life.
• Do not give up. Some people think that the way out of the situation is to get drunk, get high, use stimulants, or party all night in a nightclub. Why rush headlong into the pool? Always remember that drugs are temporary happiness, which later leads to dangerous consequences.
• Join the gym . Throw out all negative energy during physical activity. In addition to improving your mood, you will look great, and this will give you confidence in life.
• Try to do good, it will definitely come back to you . If something is constantly going wrong for you, you haven’t thought about the fact that you hurt someone or made a mistake.
• Get rid of negative emotions . You can go far into nature and scream with all your might. If it’s very bad, cry, all the emotional pain will come out with tears. Write about all your problems and then burn the paper.

Can’t cope with yourself on your own, have you fallen into deep depression? Contact a psychotherapist, he will help you find a way out of the situation. You may need to take sedatives for a while. For example, tincture of valerian and motherwort is often prescribed. But you shouldn’t get carried away with antidepressants and tranquilizers - they only make the situation worse.

Are you sitting and thinking, why is everything so bad? Look around, maybe someone has it much worse, and you just came up with your own tragedies. Learn to calmly accept all life's troubles, don't give up, always fight to the end. The main thing is not to succumb to various temptations and negative influences. In any situation, remain yourself. Be happy, enjoy life and don’t pay attention to various little things!

If now, in your opinion, everything is bad in your life, listen to one story that happened to me several years ago and which turned my life upside down.
For a long time, I believed that my life was already pre-programmed for a certain amount of success and failure, with much more of the second component in it. And there’s nothing you can do about it except come to terms with it and learn to survive - I didn’t see any other way out.

One day I met an old friend of mine, whom I had not seen for many years. Despite a series of tragic circumstances in her life, she looked young and happy, led an active lifestyle, and was full of optimism.
I was interested to know the secret of her happy life. It turned out to be very simple, but difficult to implement - every morning to thank the Universe for everything you have in life and sincerely believe that every day all your affairs are getting better and better. At that moment, her secret of a “happy life” seemed strange to me. Moreover, if problems constantly arise at work, with health, there is a chronic lack of money, relationships are not going well, and in general - this is not the life I dreamed of. But I decided to try and signed up for training in a coaching group.
Thus began my new rebirth to a completely different life - meaningful and filled with wonderful transformations and surprises, surrounded by positive and successful people.

What to do if everything is bad in life?

Now I can say with complete confidence that the black streak that is often present in life is actually a runway. And in order to take off, you need to properly accelerate along it and gain the high speed necessary for takeoff. And always set your sails so that they catch the tailwind.
And this means that it is necessary to take responsibility for everything that happens in life into your own hands.
And you need to start with controlling your thoughts - the energy that materializes in the real world. What we think about is what we get.
There is an excellent exercise for this - “Candle”. Every evening for 10 minutes just look at the candle without thinking about anything. This is how you develop the habit of controlling your thoughts and the ability to concentrate on the main thing.

Secondly, start every morning with . This is a huge flow of life-giving energy that miraculously transforms all problems, failures and failures into new solutions, new opportunities and new achievements.
And a miracle happens - everything around begins to change for the better.

Third, constantly fill your life with love, kindness and positivity. Fire the whiners, negative people and pessimists from it, and surround yourself with positive, bright, kind and successful people. They will support and give additional incentive to move forward.

Fourthly, be sure to believe that everything that is planned will definitely work out. And do not let even a shadow of doubt into your heart. If you repeat many times: “God is good. Good is God,” confidence appears, and new ways to solve vital problems open up.

And always remember that at any moment you can change your life, but in order for it to change, you need to want it and start changing it. Start doing this meaningfully, asking yourself the right questions: “Why am I doing this?” Not everything works out right away, but with some effort, perseverance and perseverance, the result will not take long to arrive. And it will exceed all expectations, I know this for sure, because it has been tested by life.

It sometimes happens to many people in life when everything is bad, everything is not going well in the family, the business is not growing, they are fired from work, relatives turn away one by one, and they don’t talk about health simply so as not to be scared to death. But no matter how bad everything is, this period passes sooner or later, and it is thanks to it that transformations occur in life that would hardly have happened in a quiet, peaceful state.

This is not to make you think that you can achieve something only through complete collapse. And to the fact that even if everything in your life collapses, this is definitely not the end, but rather the beginning. To build a castle, sometimes simple huts have to be demolished. What to do when everything is bad?

You cannot give specific instructions on what to do - do this and that, and everything will be “ok”. Everyone has their own path, and there is no common procedure for everyone. But there are some things that are key and should be kept in mind no matter what. Without them, it is very difficult to break out of the vicious circle. And we’ll talk about them now, it will help you understand what to do when everything is bad. So let's get down to business.

How to overcome a period of complete hopelessness? What to do if literally everything in your life is bad? 10 tips from psychologists, as well as those based on life experience, will help you get out of the crisis.

If only because it won't change anything. Perhaps now you think that many things should have been done differently before, but you did everything poorly. But there is one simple truth: if for some reason you did this then, it means that at that moment it was necessary. You had reasons for such an act. And if you think you could have done it differently, know that you couldn’t!

Over time, your view of previous circumstances changes, and you become older in your life wisdom. So just accept what happens as a life lesson and move on. You still can't change it. But you have the power to do things differently in the future. Focus on what you can do now, you simply don't have time for useless regrets. Think about what to do next, try to take into account past mistakes, learn valuable experience from them and move on, rather than lament that everything is bad.

2. Remember that destruction is necessary for transformation.

Growth implies destruction. You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. Therefore, when something breaks in your life, it is a sign that you are ready to build something new, you need to think about what to do. But if you give up and tell yourself that everything is bad, then you simply won’t see the gap through which you can sneak away to a new life.

So keep your eyes open and remember that through adversity we grow. But without making an effort to do this, we bend before we can get to the top. This way of asking the question will help you understand what to do when everything is bad.

3. No problem is given without the opportunity to solve it.

If you are given challenges, then you have room to grow. But on the other hand, it means that you are ready for this growth. Just as there is no door without a key, there is no problem without a solution. Therefore, even if you do not see ways, this does not mean that there are none and everything is bad. Not everything is in plain sight, but sooner or later a chance appears and you will understand what to do. Your task is to catch it in time, find it, see it, generate it in your head.

Don’t regret what you don’t have, don’t think that everything is bad, but focus on what you already have. At least you have arms and legs. And if this is not the case, then there is a head on your shoulders. This is already a resource!

Either you will drown in milk, or you will churn butter, as in the old fairy tale. The frogs were absolutely identical. The solution was different. And subsequent actions.

No matter how bad and difficult everything is, do not fall into an emotional hole. Many people immediately rush into roars and regrets. They say: “I have nothing to be happy about,” “Everything hurts,” “I don’t know what to do.” What did you do to find out? What are you doing to increase your joy? There will be no reason to smile until you find it yourself. The only generator of happiness is within you. If you find the strength to become happy even when there is no reason for it, they will appear.

Reality always reacts sensitively to our thoughts and tells us what to do. If we tell ourselves that everything is bad, then, as if by order, we receive a life to match our thoughts. After all, if we think about it, it means we like to do it (otherwise we wouldn’t be thinking about it so much) - the world doesn’t differentiate whether we like it or not.

If we are completely immersed in one state or another, it will find confirmation for itself again and again.

What to do if you switch to positive, but still nothing changes? Firstly, this is definitely not a reason to lose your thoughts into nowhere again. And secondly, not everything happens instantly.

Any movement can continue by inertia. And it takes time to adjust to a new trajectory. And it’s not always two or three minutes.

5. Remember that everything ends sooner or later

They say that King Solomon had a ring with the inscription “All things pass.” When a situation arose in his life in which he could not control himself at all and even these wise words seemed stupid and absurd to him, he tore the ring from his hand... but then he saw the inscription engraved on the inside: “This too shall pass...”

Everything passes sooner or later. Everything has a beginning and everything has an end. Such is life - for dawn to come, the sun must set in the evening. Therefore, remember that the night does not last forever. And it is darkest before dawn. Sooner or later, the situation will improve. What to do when everything is bad - know that it will pass!

And even if you are, as if in the Arctic Circle, where the sun does not rise most of the time, you can always gradually, at least in small steps, move to the equator. Where there is sun, palm trees, bananas and coconuts. Well, heaven in general!

6. Take action. At least do something!

Try different paths. As Edison said: “I have not suffered a thousand failures. I just know a thousand ways that don’t work!” If one thing doesn't work out, do something else. The main thing is not to stop, but to do it, even when everything is bad! As soon as you give up, it becomes difficult for you to hold on to emotional fear and worries. But when you do something, firstly, you have a feeling of movement, which already gives you strength. And secondly, no matter how trivial it may be, action brings more results than inaction. It's that simple!

Not “for what”, but “why”. Remember the point about transformation? Life is a school where we all learn something. Try to understand exactly what lesson the current reality holds for you.

It is useful to know the reasons, but it is even more important to understand why it is given to you. How is this situation useful to you? After all, if you learn the lesson incorrectly, sooner or later it will repeat itself. And a retake is always tougher than the main exam.

Therefore, act, look for solutions, but at the same time decide for yourself - what exactly do you need to start doing differently? What do you need to change? What do you need to learn?

Very often, as soon as you correctly find the answer, the situation resolves itself. Sometimes you intuitively understand what needs to be done, and the problem goes away only with your action. Be that as it may, nothing just happens. Everything has a purpose. And again, it is not always immediately visible. Perhaps you are getting rid of some complexes. Perhaps learn to work harder and lie on the couch less. Maybe your situation is aimed at making you reconsider your life views and understand what exactly you want. Or maybe to reconsider your social circle... By the way, about your social circle...

8. Pay attention to the people around you

They say that sometimes you have to fake a shipwreck to get the rats to escape.

I'm not telling you to complain about life, you should never do that.

But there will always be people, usually relatives, close friends, and so on, who will somehow know about your situation. If you are truly at the edge, there will definitely be people who will support you from falling or even pull you out of the abyss. But there will also be those who will pass by indifferently.

And, in some cases (this cannot be canceled), comrades may appear and literally push you down. Or persuading them to break. The phrase “a friend in need is a friend in need” is by no means an empty phrase. Just observe what happens around you when your life is at the bottom of the mountain and not at the top. Sometimes it turns out that even close friends leave you in trouble. And sometimes friendship becomes even stronger. What option do you have? Pay attention to this, especially when things are bad.

9. Rehearse your success

Once upon a time, when the author himself was in a similar situation, in a telephone conversation to a friend’s question “How are you?”, I answered: “Yes, everything is great! " No, it was not sarcasm, these were sincere words that things were moving forward, that I was not standing still. The friend remained silent in bewilderment and smiled: “But things are hard for you now, as far as I know?”

To which I received the answer: “I’m rehearsing how after a while I will say this to everyone.” At that moment it made us both smile, and very soon life really became much more fun, despite the fact that everything was bad and I was wondering what to do.

A successful performance is always preceded by rehearsals. So be happy about everything - that things are going well, that things are starting to work out, that the sun has risen, after all. Think about how you will feel when you finally break through and try to bring that feeling into your current reality. Who knows, maybe this is already a dress rehearsal?

10. Believe in Miracles

Just believe. Just in case.

I would call these ten points key. They will tell you what to do when everything is bad and help you choose the right path. Be that as it may, it is much easier to overcome difficulties with them.

We have already written about depression and apathy, but what to do when you just feel bad at heart, and you seem to understand that it will pass, but you want to somehow speed up the process? First of all, accept this state, do not try to reject it - absolutely all people are susceptible to blues, to a greater or lesser extent. This is due to the change of seasons, lack of sunlight, and hormonal changes in the body. In order to quickly return to a good mood, use our tips on what to do when you feel bad.

1) Eat positive! The first thing you need to do in the fight against the blues is to reorganize your diet by adding foods that improve your mood. These include milk, tomatoes, fish, blueberries, broccoli, red peppers, bananas, cottage cheese, whole grain flour products, all kinds of cereals and almonds, as well as citrus fruits. Don't forget about the visual component of nutrition - when food looks beautiful, your mood and appetite increase on their own. It will be great if you get excited about cooking a new dish, such as almond and banana curd pie. Inhaling the wonderful aromas in the kitchen and enjoying the results of your labors (preferably not alone), you will quickly forget about all your worries.

2) "Injections" of joy. Imagine that your feeling of “bad soul” is a disease that is perfectly treatable, and follow the prescription for the most positive films, books, TV series and magazines that you can find. Re-watch your favorite comedies, films about love, in which a happy ending always happens, re-read positive books, in general, remember everything that has ever made you laugh, touched you and lifted your spirits, and take it in heavy doses!

3) Surround yourself with care. Very often, a depressed state is a sign of fatigue, thus your body reminds its owner that it is not a machine and requires rest, care and affection. Give it to him immediately! Go for a massage, take a fragrant bath, stop stressing out at home, let someone else cook for a few days, for example, or go with the whole family to eat at a public catering. You definitely need to reduce your stress level, and to do this, forget about problems and worries for a while, and focus on your loved one. The sooner you get out of your current state, the sooner you can return to your life with its sorrows and joys.

4) Get rid of the old. There are two wonderful methods available to everyone for those who don’t know what to do when they feel bad. One of them is a general cleaning of your archives and mezzanines. No, we don’t force you to wash the windows and vacuum the far corners: your task is to get rid of all the unnecessary old trash that completely unreasonably takes up space in the apartment, not letting new positive energy into it. Haven't used the item in the last six months? This means that you don’t need it in principle. Donate and throw away everything: old notebooks, clothes, broken furniture, unnecessary books and home decoration. Notice how much easier it becomes to breathe with each discarded bag or box - of course, because you are getting rid of ballast, the burden of the past that does not allow you to move forward.

5) Create something new. The second practical technique, which is a logical continuation of the first, is creation. Paint the sun or flowers on the wall, repaint (repaint) the wallpaper in a bright color, liven up the room in which you spend the most time with flowers, fabrics, something new. This will help breathe new energy into you, so that your soul becomes light and joyful.

Ecology of life. Psychology: My head became heavy, my thoughts hung in gray wool, a lump rolled up in my throat, tears froze in my eyes. There is no strength to speak or cry. I don’t have the strength to ask for help or call someone. This is the state - “totally bad.”

My head became heavy, my thoughts hung in gray wool, a lump rolled up in my throat, tears froze in my eyes. There is no strength to speak or cry. I don’t have the strength to ask for help or call someone.

This is the state - “totally bad.”

- What do you want now?
- I do not want anything. I want everyone to leave me alone. It would be better if I never existed at all. To avoid this starting point of the report...
– This is global. What do you want very little for yourself now?
- ..... so that there is no noise around, ... so that everything calms down, and I am left completely alone ...
- What can you do for yourself now?

Finding an answer to the question “What can I do for myself now?” launches a program to overcome depression, despair and exhaustion.

I am not anyone else. Mobilization of one's own forces, search for a resource.

I can - I definitely can. Finding a solution and selecting an action within your capabilities.

Do it – don’t just think about it, but do it. Movement towards specific actions and changes in the situation.

Now - at this moment, not sometime in the future, but already now. Making a decision and taking immediate action.

This action is usually very small, takes the person out from under the hood, and triggers the self-rescue mechanism.

What is the smallest thing I want for myself and what can I do for myself right now?
“I don’t want to see these walls, so that no one bothers me.”

I can leave here immediately by turning off my phone.
-I want it to be quiet and I was alone.

I can ask everyone to gather their remaining strength to get out of here and leave me alone for two hours.

As soon as an action occurs that responds to an urgent need, that’s it, the mechanism is launched.

At this exit stage, you should not try to analyze the situation. This is a pointless waste of resource. You now do not have the opportunity to objectively and adequately perceive what is coming.

While you are inside the problem, you will not be able to look at it from the outside.

Try to “turn off your head.” Throw out any thoughts that come, and try to remain in complete emptiness.

Mastering the technique of “thinking nothing,” the ability to stop the flow of your own thoughts, is not easy, but it is possible.

It will allow you to take a break from exhausting “crisis decisions” and searching for those to blame.

Be in this state at this stage for as long as you need to regain your strength and start breathing.

The first opportunity to analyze will come the next day. Even then, don't try to make long-term decisions.

You will be able to understand what really happened and how to do it differently next time no earlier than in a few days, and the more time passes, the more objective your view will be. “Big things are seen from a distance.”

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Therefore, you shouldn’t make furious decisions “under the hood”: “That’s it! I’m getting a divorce!” or write resignation letters. Perhaps it’s worth hanging up and you’ve grown out of this work a long time ago, but this can only be done with a “fresh head.” And it’s better to leave not “from”, but “to”.

When you jump with a parachute, the main thing is not to forget to pull the ring in time.
Remember, maybe someday this will save your life. published