How to get rid of the desire to do everything. How to get rid of sex drive

The problem of irresistible sexual desire worries both men and women, regardless of age. Of course, young people have a much higher libido than those over 50 years old. But the question of how to get rid of sexual desire is relevant for representatives of different sexes and generations.

What to do if there is no permanent partner, and sexual desire prevents you from working calmly? There are several ways, each of which has its own disadvantages and advantages. This article will discuss what to do if there has been no sex for a long time and is not expected in the near future, but thoughts about it haunt you.

No one is immune from the absence of a sexual partner, so do not be upset if you suddenly encounter such a problem. Men have to abstain for a number of reasons, such as work, illness, military service, pregnancy of the spouse and others. For a woman, this problem can arise if she does not have a husband or just a permanent partner.

Why are women more concerned about this issue?

It is women who most often ask the question: how to overcome sexual desire? The fact is that the representatives of the stronger and weaker sexes equally need to satisfy the natural needs of the body. But it is more difficult for women to do this because of the pressure of public opinion. Therefore, they are looking for ways to get rid of sexual desire without resorting to the natural way to satisfy it - sexual intercourse. Social norms give men much more freedom in this regard.

The emergence of sexual desire is natural, so you should not be ashamed of it - we are all alive and need sex. But if there is no partner, you have to look for ways to help cope with the problem of sexual desire.

Although suppressing desire for a long time is not recommended - prolonged abstinence can adversely affect your health.

Why Abstinence is Dangerous

Sexual attraction for a person is an absolutely normal phenomenon. Hence the direct need to satisfy it.

Prolonged suppression of sexual desire is harmful and dangerous to human health.

Women may face the following problems:

• disorders in the genitourinary system due to stagnation of fluid in the pelvic area;
• decreased immunity;
• irritability;
• chronic depression;
• hysteria, tearfulness;
• depression;
• stress;
• headache.

For men, the following consequences are possible:

• problems with the functioning of the genital organs due to fluid stagnation;
• violation of ejaculation and a decrease in the duration of sexual intercourse;
• excess weight;
• chronic fatigue;
• depression;
• depressive state.

If you find yourself in a situation where there really is no way to satisfy your sexual desire, there are several ways that will help reduce your libido for a while.

How to get rid of sex drive

There is no universal way to get rid of sexual desire. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages.

Masturbation

This is the easiest way to overcome sexual dissatisfaction. It helps to get rid of the problem of stagnation of fluid in the pelvic area. But it also has negative consequences. Frequent onanism can be addictive, and then it will be much more difficult to build relationships with the opposite sex in the future.

With regular masturbation, erection problems may occur during intercourse. Ejaculation becomes premature, and sex becomes short.

This way to relieve sexual tension is not only suitable for men. For a woman, sport can also become an alternative to the release of accumulated energy. There are several reasons.

1. When exercising, both men and women produce the hormone of happiness - serotonin. This is a great way to solve the problem of lack of sex.
2. Power loads are a sure way to relieve stress. They will help to cope with stress and expend accumulated energy.
3. This is a great way to improve your health, increase the resistance of the immune system, improve metabolism.
4. Physical activity is exhausting and helps you not think about unmet sexual needs.

Sports are very useful for the body - this is the main plus of this option for suppressing libido. Even long walks, jogging or cycling temporarily suppress the need for sex.

spiritual connection

Any relationship between a man and a woman includes spiritual and physical intimacy. But if for some reason the second is impossible, you need to rely on the emotional component: spend more time alone, find joint activities so that intimacy does not seem inferior. Words play an important role in relationships - do not skimp on tenderness.

Physical intimacy can be expressed in many ways - gentle touches, hugs and kisses.

This can be attributed to physical activity, but very conditionally. You can work with full dedication and head. Hard physical or mental work is exhausting and exhausting, but it perfectly helps to cope with sexual desire. If you get very tired during the day, then there is simply no strength left even for the thought of intimacy.

Try to load yourself with work, affairs, various chores, and then it will not be difficult to get rid of sexual desire. The danger of this method is that hard work can cause stress and depression, which, coupled with unsatisfied sexual desires, will be doubly dangerous. Therefore, everything should be in moderation.

This method is acceptable when the absence of regular sexual relations is short-term. It is even more dangerous for women to get involved in hard work than for men - an overloaded schedule can cause a deep mental disorder. Coping with such a state is already difficult enough, and without sex it is doubly difficult.

Bromine

Young people while serving in the army are advised to take drugs that include bromine. They suppress sexual desire for a certain period of time. But you can not abuse such drugs - it is harmful to sexual health and threatens erection problems in the future. Antidepressants help reduce cravings to some extent. They are especially well received by women.

Stay away from everything that arouses sexual desire in you. It may not always be possible to get rid of "irritants", but try to limit contact with everything that makes you think about sex as much as possible.

Try to do something useful, come up with leisure. Maybe you have been dreaming about something for a long time, but did not find the time to implement it? Dedicate yourself to a hobby, charity, favorite work, study or any other interesting activity. Walk and have fun. You can try to suppress the desire by spending more time with friends (girlfriends). The less free time you have, the less often you think about sex.

Creation

This method can be a great way to solve the problem of sexual desire. Get creative - draw, dance, write poetry - give free rein to everything that has accumulated in you. Let your energy manifest itself in creativity - this is a great option to arrange a relaxation for yourself.

The best way to resist temptation is to give in to it.

The pursuit of pleasure is an integral part of human life. This is a completely natural desire and, suppressing it, you can harm your mental health. On the net you can find a lot of discussions about how to cope with sexual desire. People tell their stories, from which it is clear that it is much easier and safer to give in to your desires, change your sexual partner or find another one (if for some reason it is not yet possible to make love with yours). For some, the latter option is unacceptable - not everyone is capable of treason.

Any sexual urges that are not sufficiently satisfied is a wild animal, and if you lock him in a cage, he will get even more furious.

Sometimes religious or moral beliefs give rise in people to the desire to overcome sexual attraction and destroy even the thought of it. In some religions, fanatics scourge themselves for "sinful thoughts," but self-torture can hardly be called an effective means of combating physiological needs. Suppression of desire leads to negative consequences, thoughts about sex become an obsession.

However, from the point of view of biology, these beliefs are erroneous. Sex is a natural manifestation of physical intimacy between a man and a woman. People need this way of expressing love and passion. Attraction to the opposite sex is normal, and tabooing it is wrong and dangerous. Even if the desire for physical intimacy is suppressed, it will be difficult to restore it, and self-doubt, depression and irritability will forever become your companions.

If you do not allow yourself to satisfy the need for sex, as natural as the need for food or sleep, then you can forget about fun and joy. And not because sex is happiness. But constant thoughts about him simply will not allow you to fully enjoy life.

Abundance is not a matter of external circumstances. This is what lives in our mind. And the settings of the mind cannot be changed without practice.

If for many years, since childhood, you have absorbed the habits of scarcity, cultivating an inner feeling of Abundance is a serious and responsible work. This is not a question of any one training, even with the best of trainers. It is impossible to change everything as if by a wave of a magic wand. And you can meditate on money, write wish lists, scratch the back of a frog, read mantras and burn money candles until a carrot spell, if your daily habits do not change from this.

Feeling Abundant

As they say, the devil is in the details. You struggle to think of Abundance in life, houses and cars around the world, luxury trips and dinners in restaurants (I know, I know, I myself am the same) ... But in fact .... Look at how abundance or scarcity shows up in your daily habits...

Oh, how hard it is to part with the good old desire to "save". Today in the hardware store, I clearly caught myself on this pettiness. I liked the wash basin in a cheerful spring color. And next to it was exactly the same, but gray. But 100 rubles cheaper.

And this is where the brain explosion happened. “Why overpay? whispered an insinuating inner voice. “From a functional point of view, they are both exactly the same!” “But maybe its this functionality? This one is so cute,” another part of me quietly asked. And this is where the mind kicks in. I took a look at this situation.

So where is Abundance? Why, in the name of what to show pettiness and not allow myself what I really like. And I stood in all seriousness and said to myself: “I allow myself this basin”, feeling how the lump inside is gradually dissolving .... And of course I chose the funny one. And now, every time I look at it, I will subconsciously experience pleasant emotions - and tune in to Abundance ...

And how many such “small” events happen to us every day?

Why call a taxi? I'll be fine and take the subway. So what, it's already night, and I have heavy bags.
Why buy clothes and shoes especially for the home, and even expensive ones? Something will come of that, in which it is already a shame to go out into the street. I'm at home.

Why buy expensive quality stuff? After all, with this money you can buy 10 budget ones. So what if they lose their appearance after the first wash and will not bring any pleasure.

Has this happened to you? Or am I the only one here so greedy in relation to myself?

And here's another thing - to choose dishes from the menu "from right to left" in a restaurant - so what if I want something else - it's cheaper. Buying in the store is not what you want, but what the “action” is for. You can also try to save money on a bus ticket. Why pay when it's only two stops away. So what if your legs are tired, and it's raining outside ...

Buy unknown services on discount sites. Well, this is generally a “classic of the genre” - risking your health and good mood in the illusory hope of saving money. We all know very well that cheap is not good.

Or hang out in the store among accessories - when you like this and that, but you can’t choose one. And instead of picking up this nonsense and enjoying it, it's sad to leave the store ...

And this list can be continued indefinitely...

But worst of all, it also happens when money finally appears and you spend it on something, even the right one - to feel remorse for it. Or they “guessed” money for a massage course - they came - and you begin to figure out what you can do about the housework with them ...

Can a person with such attitudes meet his Abundance?

No. After all, give him any amount of money - and the settings will remain the same. Remember the classic story from The Golden Calf, when Shura Balaganov rode a tram with an exorbitant amount of money - but could not resist the temptation to steal his wallet ...

An organic, comfortable entry into the zone of one's Abundance is possible only through conscious daily monitoring of one's habits, expanding the comfort zone.

If you were already rich, what stores would you go to, what products and clothing brands would you choose for yourself, how would you spend your free time? What kind of people would you communicate with? On what basis would you select personal belongings and furnishings at home? How much would you leave "for tea" in restaurants, beauty salons and other establishments? How much would you spend on charity and what projects would you support? What interests and hobbies would you have?

Imagine it and try to embody it - at least in small things. Let the tip be not 5000 rubles, but 50 - you have to start somewhere. You can't feed thousands of people - start with one. Even if you cannot go on the trip of your dreams tomorrow, you can read about this place on the Internet and start learning English. Rest assured it will come in handy.

You can envy more successful people, trying to find a dark side in them and downplay their achievements, or you can respectfully communicate with them and learn from them ...

Watch your speech - do you discuss your acquaintances, do you condemn their crazy spending? Or vice versa - stop such conversations with a firm and confident: "it's so great that they can afford it."

And please, give up the habit of counting other people's money - they really don't like it.

It is already possible today, from the little things, to form the image of the future life- even if they are pictures from magazines, and not real things.

Go to an expensive boutique where you would like to dress and try on a dress. Let yourself enjoy this comfort and the attentive attitude of sales assistants, let yourself feel and absorb these sensations with your whole body, feel how expensive natural silk pleasantly cools your skin ...
How do you like this? Does the back straighten? Are your eyes on fire? Or vice versa - a lump appears inside and it becomes hard to breathe. It’s so hard that you don’t even have the strength to cross the threshold, and not just to decide on a fitting ...

Speak to yourself: I allow myself this. I allow myself a beautiful expensive dress. I allow myself the house of my dreams. I allow myself a car. I allow myself to be rich and happy. And try to feel it from the body.

Many of us dream of a big beautiful house. So, how big is your dream home? Meters 200? Or more? Are you ready to clear this space? Not just once, but regularly? And how will you feel about it? As the hostess of the Dream House or as a free application to it? Few are really ready to keep such a space clean and responsible for it.

But it's even harder to let others do the work for us. I know for myself. Now, in addition to my house, I also maintain order in the apartment where our Club is located. And this is about 140 meters of area. And I literally have to step over myself to allow myself to invite a cleaning lady - well, what's the big deal, because I can clean myself. Tea is not a bar.

But this is a few hours of my life. The ones that will never come back to me. And I consciously, by an act of will, do not let my old habits of scarcity consume them.

I will not say that it is always easy - sometimes it covers soooo. But it is important to consciously live such moments. Now I feel shame and guilt, I feel unworthy. I feel sadness and envy. And now I feel anger, injustice, resentment ... And I allow myself to feel it. You can get rid of these blocks only by meeting them face to face and living them - otherwise you cannot.

And so, through a very smooth and gradual expansion of your comfort zone, you will move to where your Abundance has been waiting for you for a very long time.

Start with the little things available to everyone. Consciously choose foods that you like and of good quality, rather than eating the first thing that comes to hand. Handle your belongings with care, do not throw them at random. Imagine that your bag costs not two thousand rubles, but two hundred. Would you put it on the dirty floor then? Would they put everything in it in a row - until the handles crackle and break? (By the way, maybe that’s why there was such a sign that you can’t put your bag on the floor - there will be no money?) How would you treat your coat if it was a creation from the latest collection of a fashion designer? Imagine that attitude—and start applying it to your stuff—today.

Ask yourself the question more often - is this thing worthy of me? Do I need it in my future life or will it only pull back ... Give preference to quality over quantity. And then you will fully understand the meaning of the statement: "We are not rich enough to buy cheap things."

Abundance is not a matter of external circumstances. This is what lives in our mind. And the settings of the mind cannot be changed without practice.

So every day, consciously repeat to yourself: I choose Abundance. I allow myself all the best, I allow my dreams to come true and I am ready to bear full responsibility for this. Cultivate the habits of a rich person. And take at least a small but conscious step towards a new you.published .

Tamara Arkhipova

If you have any questions, ask them

P.S. And remember, just by changing your consumption, we are changing the world together! © econet

Well, if so, then transform your priorities.

Collect arguments that strengthen you in your position.

Collect rebuttals of all objections to your position that suit you.

I'm giving an example.

Appreciate that by the mere fact of your existence you are not obliged to comply with generally accepted norms, even if they are called generally accepted and natural. Your life and your worth are only partially dependent on your life partner and should not be relied upon if you do not agree with this. In short, there are many different types of happiness, and some of them involve self-sufficiency and independence from other people. Including women.

The bottom line is that you are a person who may be interested in your society without a company at all, especially a female one. Find something to fill your life so that you are satisfied without them.

Consider the danger / harmfulness of relationships with the opposite sex for personal interests. The purpose of love courage is to deprive you of the ability to reasonably make decisions and push you to the content of the child in the long run. Nature does not care about your individual happiness. She will set you up if you let her. If children are not part of a successful future for you, then attraction to the opposite sex must be recognized and controlled. Think of it as a struggle with an addiction like drugs, alcohol or any other. People in love are like moths flying to a fire.

If you are not ready to start a family, then there are noble features in your behavior, because you also protect a possible lady from disappointments and the torment associated with this, and future children from possible threats. There is already overpopulation in the world - you have no obligation to save the entire human population by a personal sacrifice. The world won't fall apart without your children.

More examples will not be written, I think the meaning is clear. The bottom line is that this is both an ideology and a system of values ​​that is opposite to others. It will be no less logical and justified if it is refined.

Self-sufficient, independent, single and unmarried people have been at all times. Some by circumstance, some by choice. I believe you have your reasons for making such a decision.

Take care of yourself: make your life happy and interesting without women. Find inner balance and sap spiritual strength. When you already have so many of these forces and means that even throw them away, you can find someone to bestow them on. (the girls themselves will reach out to you) And there will be no need to worry that they will take something away from you or somehow harm you. You just have to have an internal inalienable base, the source of your strength is your own personality. Women and children are an addition to your happiness to be yourself, not its causes. If you try to build your life around them and their interests, you will simply be exhausted, since you will not receive anything of equal value in return. Of course, they give a lot of wonderful things and enrich your life, but only those who have seen happiness without them can appreciate all this, and can tell the difference.

Traditionallyhuman perception inextricably linked with the continuous flow of thoughts. Thoughts are attracted by the strongest emotional experience. Thinking about an experience reproduces it, creating new experiences and desires. The emerging desire to experience a certain experience directs attention to the objects and events associated with this experience, coloring the world with emotions and creating individuality and originality in perception.

On the one hand, desires give rise to pleasures and pleasures, and on the other, pain and suffering. Desires are the motivation for action and give life a seeming meaning. But the very source of pleasure, to which desires aspire, is not in the external world, but inside everyone and is your nature. He who seeks the source of pleasure outside, and not in himself, without trying to understand the nature of his desires, depends on the whims of his mind, conditioned by the beliefs embedded in it, and is doomed to experience pain and suffering.

So what are desires? How do they arise? And how to become free from desire arising in the conditioned mind and get rid of pain and suffering?

wishes unreal - they arise in the mind as a projection of the future, as an aspiration to get pleasure, as a game of imagination of the mind, which imagines what this pleasure should be. This representation is always illusory, because imaginary events of the future at the moment of their scrolling in the mind already exist as fragments of memory and are a past memory of an imaginary future. And when the idea coincides with the inevitable, the mind gives a positive assessment, causing pleasure, and if it does not match, then the mind gives a negative assessment, which brings suffering. But if you are attentive, you can find that pleasure and suffering do not arise as a result of ongoing events, but only as a result of evaluative actions of the mind, and, therefore, the mechanism itself is not something external, but is embedded within you. The resulting emotions make you believe in the mind's identities and the reality of the mind's imaginations.

Blinding with the excitement of emerging emotions, the mind draws you into a game called "wish fulfillment." The game of wishing is like playing with a coin toss, one side of which is what you want and the other side is what you don't want. What you want brings pleasure, and what you don't want brings pain and suffering. In wanting to have fun, you get caught in the mind's trap. By tossing a coin of desires, you are drawn into gambling, dooming yourself to pain and suffering.

By creating an idea of ​​what the future should be, the mind generates desire - the experience of its fulfillment - worry about the future. And when the desired does not coincide with the inevitable, another experience arises in the mind - “Why didn’t everything turn out the way it should have happened?” Thus, another construction of the mind is created - feeling about the past, which carries suffering and pain.

The past is only fragments of memory, the future is only a game of the imagination of the mind. Neither the past nor the future exists, it exists only now. But wandering in time and space, the mind creates a false idea of ​​life from fragments of memory and imagination of the future. The emotions that arise give reality to this imagination, making you believe that this representation of the mind is your life, one and only. Staying in this game, not understanding the mechanism of pleasure and suffering, most people, falling into this trap of the mind, are in pursuit of the fulfillment of desires created by the conditioned mind, losing the true meaning of one's existence.

In order to become free from the conditioning of the mind, from the fears, worries, experiences it creates, it is necessary to put things in order in it. And this can be done only by developing the ability to distinguish the true from the illusory, by examining oneself.

Stanislav Milevich

A few months ago, I came up with a plan for two small articles. I wanted to call the first one the "Principle of sincerity", the second - the "Principle of futility". Their main ideas are simple, tested on themselves and clients. But I, as often happens, could not resist and began to be wiser.

The main idea of ​​the article is about sincerity: even doubts about the sacred are pure, because they are honest.

The main idea of ​​the article is about futility: fear goes away when you realize the inevitability of loss.

hopes

The most common way to enjoy life is sucking on sweet hopes. Hopes are cherished, enthusiastically built, they clutch at them as for the only salvation. And they suffer mainly when something threatens these fragile chimeras.

Kill hope and what's left? Without it, they fall into despair. It's like there are only two options - either a hoped-for success or a full paragraph. Therefore, they rejoice not in the present, but in hopes for the best, and suffer not so much in real situations as from gloomy forecasts. Even sadness for the past is such a foresight of a life devoid of something important.

Take a closer look: you are not rejoicing in real victories and acquisitions, but in attractive prospects for the future that open up at such moments. And you are upset not by losses and losses, but by gloomy forebodings of the impending deterioration of the situation.

So they live not a real, but a supposed life. Apparently the current moment, although it remains the only reality, is too short to be taken seriously. But the future seems vast ... as long as the mind focuses on fears and hopes. There is no other future for us.

Why get rid of desires

Desires are the appropriation of the non-existent: the mind in the imagination makes a movie about the future that overshadows the realities, and takes it as a guaranteed scenario for life. Inflamed obsessive desires are hopes.

I read a long time ago that the Buddha suggested turning off desires as a cure for all problems. And it seemed to me that this was some kind of outrageous fantasy for fairy-tale ascetics. How so - to take and stop wishing? The gut is not subject to such spells.

But years later, I saw how desires fall off on their own when you expose their futility - baseless calculations to get what you want.

Desire radiates the heat of yearning while you count on its fulfillment. No calculation - no desire. Therefore, no one seriously dreams of such fantastic things as: world peace, eternal youth and health, superpowers ... They dream about what they count on.

You get rid of desire when you are penetratingly aware of its meaninglessness. That is, initially, “meaning” looms in it. It is also called "secondary benefit". When you see that the "benefit" is not justified, thinking and behavior change spontaneously.

Are you running from desire? Realize the groundlessness of the calculation - and the desire will go away. Sometimes awareness covers instantly, sometimes it requires jewelry analysis or “meditation” about the nature of the phenomenon.

Examples

It is vain to count on a concrete future - it may not happen.
In vain - to prove the case - this hunger will never appease the evidence.
In vain - scandal, counting on consent and understanding - conflicts lead to destruction.
It is in vain to count on justice - life has its own plans unknown to us.
In vain - to be smart and show off - you lose real spiritual intimacy.
It is vain to demand love - coercion to it causes the opposite reaction of hostility.
In vain - to count on patronage - the fear of losing supports will not leave.
In vain - to count on reciprocity, if it is not initially.
It is futile to protect the child at every step. Reality will not pity him, but will give him a chance to grow up.
In vain - to resist the truth - self-deception will not give rest.
It is futile to force yourself to be aware. She, like a dream, is natural - something from the depths begins to spontaneously take an interest in the present.

And what can you count on?

Imagine how after a hard day, hungry, you decide to reward yourself with a delicious dinner, and salivating, carry a plate to the screen to have a good time watching the series. How fully do you accept the present at this moment? After all, you are the very expectation of the upcoming segment of indoor happiness.

The gut tunes in to the only version of reality in the happy gratification of the mind and body. And what if halfway through the plate of food turns over on the floor? Little private tragedy, huh?

But the desired and years of waiting. Large-scale goals - a large-scale bummer calculation. How reliable are such calculations? Do we control the future? Do we know him?

We know the dates, we can predict statistically probable consequences, cases and meetings on specific days. But what they will be, we never really know.

You don't even know what you're thinking in a second. What is there besides this moment? A series of flickering, frightening and encouraging mirages in the mind.

But we lie to ourselves because we love to hope. We do not take into account such a real possibility that no future for our precious "I" may come at all. Force majeure, sudden urgent matters, pianos in the bushes and other spontaneities of life - they are in no hurry to include them in the calculation.

Ten years ago, a relative of mine suddenly left her body at the age of 30. She had a headache, and two hours later she was gone. Nobody expected.

Hope is the imagined possession of something supposedly real. A fragile fantasy, on which they stake the size of a life.

Control questions: “What have I appropriated (a)? Why am I shaking?"

How to come to awareness

Can I own a person? Can I be guaranteed to spend time with him whenever I want? Do I own my own body? Is a successful future guaranteed?

This is not an easy truth. For a mind accustomed to own it is disturbing, because it burns its ephemeral riches. Through the pain of disappointment in illusions come to awareness.

When it seems that you want awareness, in fact you are again trying to master a mirage, some other imaginary state. Mindfulness is the tasting of what is already there, whatever it may be.

You don't want real awareness - you can only gratefully accept it - it is the revealing truth. And the desire for awareness is chewing gum for the mind, savoring the “overtaking” reality of the image of oneself “better”, aware. And another hope.

Awareness reveals the rejection of the present: you come close to it, you see how this protest against reality requires satisfaction. But you already know that it is futile to saturate it - you can run away from yourself for years. Therefore, you no longer twitch, do not rush, but continue to look.

It's getting harder. The ego is sickening. But if you don’t run away, then the block of the hungry “I” permeates through with vital energy. And everything passes. With the loss of another illusory possession, worries about it also go away. No orgasmic saturation. Just peace and clarity.

Disappointment in the illusory is sobering and brings back to the present. Everything will be released. Perhaps something will remain. We never know how it will turn out. It will be as God wills.